Return of the Bat
by Jins Lil Whirlwind
Summary: Better than title! Ever wonder who told Kurama that he could transfer his soul into another body? Well, he's back! Will Kuronue think as highly of Suichi as he did Yoko? NONYAOI Kuronue? ACDC? Good combo.
1. The Dream

**Yes, I'm back, with yet another distraction from my other stories. I've gone on a Kuronue craze these last couple weeks, and it's drivin' me nuts. I have to get it out so I can start thinking about my other fics again! I've read other fics about him, but since there are so many descriptions of his character, and so little concreted in the show, I've said skee-roo it! I'll write him my way! As for the title, blame Mark Morrison. I've heard that song "Return of the Mack" a million times here lately so it stuck with me LOL**

**Summary: Ever wonder _who_ told Kurama about that little transfer-your-soul-into-another-body trick in the _first_ place? Well, he wasn't the only one that tried it out! Can't tell you anything else without spoiling the story! **

**This first chapter is a dramatic introduction, but it will lighten up as the story goes. My readers know by now that it is physically impossible for me to write a story without some humor to it.**

**I tell you now, there will not be any yaoi in this fic. No disrespect to those who like it, but I just can't write them. As for if there will be pairings later, who knows? I'm considering something that is not really what you would call a pairing, exactly, but more of a love/hate/lust kinda deal with one of the girls, but I haven't made up my mind yet. **

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"I _need_ it!" Kuronue shouted, running back for his pendant. Kurama watched his friend growing further away. Then, all went black. 

He was now standing on a high cliff, his partner, beside him. They were both younger. Yoko's hair was only a little ways past his shoulders. Kuronue's fell to about the middle of his back. It hung loose, and blew every which way when the breeze caught it, as did Yoko's. Kurama remembered how long ago that had been, before he had started gathering it in that ponytail.

"One day, we'll _own_ this place." Yoko nodded. A silent agreement with his partner. His best friend. They were already starting to be feared by the other apparitions. "Which half do you want, Yoko?"

"Which half has the most wealth?"

Kuronue chuckled. "You can have the gold if I get the good-looking women." This got a smile and a small laugh from Yoko, something that became much rarer in their later years.

"Do you ever think of anything other than females?"

"Course. Wealth, power, fighting, killing, and _mating_ with the females." He flashed a grin, and Yoko did the same. He shook his head, still smiling.

"You're hopeless," he laughed.

"Then _you're_ hopeless. You're stuck with me, friend."

"Don't remind me," Yoko said, faking a growl in his voice. "How _did_ I get stuck with you, anyway?"

"Every wealthy man in Makai fears Kuronue _and_ Yoko. It just wouldn't be right if it was just Kuronue."

"Just Kuronue?"

The bat cast him a sly smile. It was the kind of look a brother would give in a playful, sibling argument. "Yeah. Just Kuronue. You wouldn't last a _day_ without me."

"Is that so?" Yoko reached over his shoulder, now returning Kuronue's sly gaze. Soon, they were engulfed in a sparring match, neither of them really trying to _win_. They were more concerned with wounding the other's pride. Just like brothers, when one of them got a little too cocky, it was the other's right to knock him down a notch or two.

Just like brothers…

Suddenly, Kurama was back in a familiar forest. Familiar, no matter how hard he tried to forget it. A second after he realized where he was, he saw something red. It was shooting out in a river in front of his best friend.

Blood.

"KURONUE!"

"Forget about me and run, Kurama!"

"KURONUE!" Suichi yelled, reaching his hand out into the darkness. As his labored breathing started to slow, he took in his surroundings. He was sitting straight up in his bed. He felt moisture around his eyes, and pulled his outstretched hand closer to wipe them.

"Suichi?" his mother's voice called from the hall. She knocked on his door, and spoke again, this time a little more concerned. "Suichi, dear? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Mother," he called back.

"I heard you yelling. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Just a bad dream. I watched a horror film just before time for bed. I suppose I shouldn't have done so." He hoped she would accept that answer and return to bed. He didn't want her to see him like this. He was covered in a cold sweat, still breathing harshly, and he could feel himself trembling.

"If you're sure. If you need anything, dear, anything at all, just tell me, alright?"

"Yes, Mother, but I promise you, I'm fine now. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Suichi." With that, he heard her footsteps leading away from his door. He collapsed back onto his pillow.

'_That dream. The same one, three times this week. Why?'

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**Review time! I know there hasn't been any excitement yet, but what do you think so far? I hope I get a few, just to let me know if you guys are liking the idea. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: to me, reading the reviews is better than writing the fics.**_  
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	2. The New Boy

**Hiya, and thanks for the reviews! I know I don't reply to my reviewers, and I'm really sorry about that. I stay pressed for time. Writing the fics is hectic by itself. If I get questions in my reviews, I try to cover them in the notes on the next chapter I post. I really do love the reviewers, and I thank you all, I just don't have time to reply. But, just so you know, I don't care what the review looks like, even the words "cool," "I liked it," or "UPDATE!" put me in a good mood. Just knowing you guys took the time out to write it :o)**

**NOTE: As my long time readers know, I always use the FunImation dub spelling of the names. In the original, there were two Suichis, that was Kokoda's name, too, but it was changed in the EV to make it simpler. As for Kaitou, I watched his name get spelled different at least 4 times in a single episode. Whoever was doing the subs wasn't paying attention, so I'm sticking with this one because it's the one on the chapter select screen.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey! Wait up!" 

Suichi and Kokoda turned to see Yuu Kaitou jogging towards them. They waited until he had caught up, then turned back to continue on their way to school. He panted to catch his breath, and fell in line on Suichi's right-hand side. Normally, Kokoda would have teased him about breathing like that after such a little jog, but this morning, the walk had been unusually quiet.

"I'm not cut out for this," Kaitou complained. He then caught sight of his friend's solemn expression. He also noted how Kokoda hadn't taken advantage of that golden opportunity to annoy him for being a nerd. They were both silent, looking at nothing but the ground in front of their feet. "Did I miss something?"

"Huh?" Suichi's head snapped up at the sound of his friend's words. Kaitou then got a good look at his eyes. There were enough red lines going through them to make a road map.

"Are you alright? You look terrible."

"Thank you, Kaitou."

"No, I didn't mean it like that! You just look like...," he fumbled for the words.

"I've just been having some bad dreams. Nothing more."

"Sleep deprivation? That would explain why you look like a zombie..." _'Seems like your personality fits the part today, as well...,"_ Kaitou thought to himself.

They continued to walk, stopping to say goodbye to Kokoda as they passed his school, then the two older boys continued on to their own, still in silence.

This was their first day back to school. Their school had just done some renovations, and they had been given 3 weeks off as a result. They knew they would have to make it up at the end of the school year, but it had seemed like it would be worth it. They each had plans on simply hanging out with their friends during their much needed vacation, maybe playing some video games. Suichi certainly hadn't planned to fill his days with odd feelings and his nights with horrible visions of a past best forgotten.

The two now sat, side-by-side, in their classroom, waiting for their teacher to arrive. Though Suichi was sitting in this room, his thoughts were in another world, literally. He couldn't stop seeing things, despite his best efforts. He kept remembering his younger days.

His days with Kuronue.

He breathed a sigh of relief when his teacher, Mr. Tomo, walked in. He wanted to study today. He wanted any distraction he could get.

"Class, first off, let me welcome you back. I'd like to say that I've missed you, but with all the money I saved on aspirin these last few weeks..." The teacher grinned wide at the students, who were now smiling and giggling in response to his teasing. They all loved Mr. Tomo. He was one of the few teachers who had a sense of humor. "The next thing I have to say is big news," he continued, placing his hands together in front of him. "For the_ first_ time in the history of our fine institution, someone has managed to get a _perfect score _on the entrance exams!"

Shocked faces and oohs and aaahs filled the room. Suichi and Kaitou exchanged looks of amazement. On the scores for the entrance exams, Suichi had set the record, with Kaitou coming in second, lacking only 1 point to tie with him. Both had thought it _impossible_ to attain a perfect score.

"Class, meet Kane Ogata," the teacher said, looking out the partially cracked door. A hush fell over the classroom as the door was pushed inward from the other side. In stepped a boy with long, coal-black hair, neatly gathered into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. His eyes were a warm, hazel color, but, Kurama noted some eerie chill in them, hidden, just below the surface, where his peers could not see.

The boy was tall, about 6'2, and slender, but not quite as much so, as Suichi. He gave a silent bow in front of the class, then, he was directed to his seat. Mr. Tomo asked the girl sitting to Suichi's right to move to an empty seat in the second row. He explained that he wanted his three top students sitting right up front. He then explained, that since they were usually done with their assignments first, he often had them assist him in grading papers, or run errands. Sitting up front they wouldn't disturb the rest of the class if he needed to speak with them. Kane nodded, and took his seat.

"Mr. Tomo," a voice said from the hall. "I need to speak to you for a moment." Mr. Tomo walked into the hall, closing the door behind him. The girls in the back of the class started exchanging excited whispers, and giggling could be heard all around.

Kaitou leaned over in his seat, nearing Suichi. "Looks like you're not number one with the ladies any more...," he said, in a hushed tone.

"Pity," Suichi mused.

Despite Kaitou's efforts to keep the conversation between the two of them, a boy behind him had heard his comment. "Like we need another one!" he spoke in a harsh, semi-whispering fashion to his friend. "Yeah, really," the other boy agreed.

Kaitou sighed, knowing how these boys felt, then looked back to Suichi. He noticed that he was looking in Kane's direction. He leaned forward in his seat a little, to see past the redhead. Kane was fidgeting with his collar for some reason.

Suichi watched as Kane pulled out two tiny black dots from his collar. Next he saw the wires attached to those dots. Kane stuck each of the "ear-dot" headphones in, and pulled up one side of the fuchsia jacket of his uniform. There, Suichi saw a tiny, black box, with buttons all over it.

_'MP3 player? In school? Not what one would expect of the top-ranking test scores in the school's history...,'_ Suichi thought. He soon heard the music coming from the headphones. A familiar tune, even though it wasn't exactly his cup of tea. He'd heard it many times anyway; everyone had. Kurama continued to listen, as the lead singer of AC/DC started to sing at the end of the instrumental introduction.

_**Back in black  
I hit the sack  
I've been too long I'm glad to be back  
Yes, I'm let loose  
From the noose  
That's kept me hanging about  
I've been looking at the sky  
'Cause it's gettin' me high  
Forget the hearse 'cause I never die  
I got nine lives  
Cat's eyes  
Abusin' every one of them and runnin' wild**_

_**'Cause I'm back  
Yes, I'm back  
Well, I'm back   
Yes, I'm back  
Well, I'm back, back  
(Well) I'm back in black  
Yes, I'm back in black**_

_**Back in the back  
Of a Cadillac  
Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack  
Yes, I'm in a bang  
With a gang  
They've got to catch me if they want me to hang  
Cause I'm back on the track  
And I'm beatin' the flack   
Nobody's gonna get me on another rap  
So look at me now  
I'm just makin' my play  
Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way**_

_**Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back  
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back  
Well, I'm back, back **_

Kane hit the off button and hid his headphones as the teacher returned to the room. Kurama found it interesting _how _he'd hid his headphones. Instead of reaching up and removing them, he had given a tug on the bottom of the wire, the part that was hooked into his MP3 player. Kurama gave an internal grin. This boy was sneaky. This could make school more interesting. It also bothered him, how he knew every word of that song just by hearing the faint, muffled voice from the phones. Had Kokoda, Yusuke, Kuwabara and Okubo drilled it into him that much? He _had _to find another way to keep them entertained...

He continued thinking about this and other things, mostly his school work. He also slipped a glance at the new boy every so often, usually finding him staring at one of the short skirts the girls in their school were required to wear. He had found him rolling his eyes at their teachers more than once.

At lunch, Kaitou and Suichi had decided that they would talk to him about his test scores after school. They had started to then, but found him surrounded by girls, and it was obvious, even from the distance they were standing at, that he was "returning" the attention he was getting, tenfold.

At least this new boy and his antics had brought his mind away from where it had been that morning...

* * *

**Hope you liked this chappie! I can't wait to see the reviews! **

** As for the song choice, I just thought that it would fit, "BACK in Black..." You get the idea. Besides that, well, like I said, EVERYBODY has heard it. If the lyrics are screwy, look over it. Funny story for you guys, when I was looking around on the web to make sure the lyrics were right, I found a million different sites that had the lyrics listed, and_ none _of 'em MATCHED! Which tells me, that these people have been goin' around singin' this song ( or _screamin' _it,) for the last _26 years, _and not a damned one of 'em_ knows_ what they're _singin_' LOL ( Remember that commercial where the man and woman are in the car and he sings the wrong words to Pour Some Sugar on Me and his girl calls the library...?)**


	3. Deja Vu

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you guys like this so far. :o) **

**Notes: Kuronue actually means "Black Crane" If anyone's curious, Kane means "Tribute, warrior; the doubly accomplished, golden; man, the eastern sky; beautiful." Though not all of these are the Japanese meanings. The name has roots in a long list of cultures.  
**

**For those who don't know, in Japan, students stay in one class, the teachers rotate, except in the cases of PE, and science classes where chem. labs are required (Now how did the US not catch on to this little trick? They made all of us pack 25 lbs. of books all over campus!). That's the reason for the boys seating arrangements staying the same. Also, Mr. Tomo is the history teacher. Not important now, but it will be later...**

**I own nothing. Enjoy! **

* * *

"Well class, Mr. Hoashi has had to leave early today, so I'm going to be taking over for him," Mr. Tomo said. He took his seat at the desk, then pointed to one of the girls in the third row, who had her hand raised. "Yes?" 

"Is there anything wrong? Nothing bad happened did it?"

"No, quite the contrary. Mr. Hoashi's wife called from the hospital, she's going to have the baby."

An excited buzz filled the room, but slowly died out. Mr. Tomo announced that since this was their first day back, and science wasn't his subject anyway, he was just going to let the class talk about what they had done on their breaks. After a while, they got onto the topic of after school jobs. After the first few students, they came to Suichi.

"I was working for my stepfather, full-time, until recently. I decided to take a job at a flower shop, part-time, since I'm going to major in Botany when I start college." Suichi couldn't see the right side of Kane's face, where one side of his mouth was turned up in a half smile.

_'Now why doesn't that surprise me?'_ Kane thought, as Suichi explained that he worked 2 evenings a week at the shop, and 3 for his stepfather.

"Two jobs, perfect grades, and already planning for college," Mr. Tomo said. "You are quite the overachiever, Minamino." He chuckled a little.

Suichi's face turned pinkish. "Well, I do what I can."

"Whatta man...," a girl sighed from the back of the class. "I know! He's perfect!" another added. "All that, _and_ he's the hottest guy in school!" said a third. Then, another spoke, from the back corner. "Not _the_ hottest! _Kane_ is!"

Mr. Tomo waved his hand at the girls. "Alright, people, let's stay on topic..."

Suichi's face had been through five shades of red during this time. The other boys in the class, Kaitou included, had been through five shades of green; some for envy, some for nausea. Kane though, was still sitting, arms folded, a broad grin on his face. It was clear that he was holding back from laughing.

_'Not much has changed. The only difference is that he's actually learned to be modest about it...,'_ Kane thought, stealing a glance in Suichi's direction. _'No danger in that from me...'_

After hearing the girls make mention of Kane, the teacher decided that it was his turn. "Mr. Ogata, do you have an after school job, or any hobbies? You're new here and I'm sure your peers would love to get to know you better."

Kane didn't have to look to know that every boy in class, except Suichi, had just rolled his eyes. "I've had quite a few jobs. Right now I'm in a band. "

Once again, the girls went to swooning. Mr. Tomo's voice cut through it. "I saw in your record that you had musical experience. What do you play? Woodwinds? Brass?"

"Heavy metal."

"Excuse me?" Mr. Tomo hadn't been expecting that one. Suichi snapped out of his fangirl-induced withdrawal, and started to listen. This was sure to be a fun conversation.

"Heavy metal. And old rock... Whatever we're in the mood for as long as it's hard. I'm the lead guitar in a band called 'The Black Cranes.' We play over at Akari's Lounge about every other night. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but usually at least one weeknight, then we have every weekend." Kane smirked, just the tiniest bit, pleased by the bewilderment on his teacher's face. He didn't spare a glance at Suichi. He knew the name 'The Black Cranes' had got his attention.

A few of the girls sounded like they might be ready to faint from this news. The boys sounded like they might be ready to shoot themselves. Kane and Suichi heard one mutter "Great! One _pretty-boy_ genius, and one rock-n-roll _musician_ genius. How are we supposed to compete with _that_?"

_'Nope. Nothing's changed,' _Kane thought. He was still trying to keep his minimally-smiling poker face on the outside. But, he was laughing uncontrollably on the inside._ 'You _don't_ compete with us, pal. Nobody can...'_

"Well," Mr. Tomo started, shaking off the surprise. "Not exactly what I'd been expecting."

"It's better than the first job I had," Kane replied.

"And what was that?"

"When I was eight, I used to go door to door selling 'No Soliciting' signs."

The room was silenced. Suichi, however, had noticed the look in Kane's eyes. Well, the one he could see, anyway. Mischievous wasn't a term that could do it justice. He caught on to this little mind game...

"And how well did that work?" Mr. Tomo asked, scratching his head in a state of utter confusion.

"Pretty good actually. They always said no when I first came. I'd ask them 'why?' After 45 minutes of answering that question, I'd say 'Hey mister, am I buggin' you? That's a pretty good reason why you need one of these...'"

Silence.

All but Suichi, who was biting the inside of his lip to keep from laughing aloud. Kane had an impish grin planted on his face. He was thoroughly enjoying this.

The only thing that was bothering Suichi about this scenario, is that his mind kept wandering back to his old friend. This boy was reminding him of the way Kuronue used to act. That stunt had sounded just like something he would've done. That wasn't the only thing, though. The Black Cranes. That name had really struck a nerve. That's what Kuronue's name had meant. He still tried to shake it off; blame it on coincidence.

The class finished talking about jobs and hobbies, though none compared to Suichi's two after school jobs, or Kane's being a rock-n-roll musician. Mr. Tomo was called to the hall to discuss something else. He was a teacher, but also one of those in charge of the school clubs, so getting interrupted was quite common. One more reason the students loved him; they got a chance to talk whenever he left the room.

The girls in the back dared one of their own to talk to Kane. She introduced herself as "Ai" and propositioned him to sit in the empty seat in the back.

"Please? I promise, we won't bother you."

Kane took a long look at her hemline, then answered. "I'm sure you wouldn't. But still, I don't think so."

"But why?" She looked at him with the pouty lip, and he had to bite his own to keep laughing at it. They got hooked so quick...

"I don't think Mr. Tomo would allow it," Suichi said from behind her. All the teachers liked the seating plans that the first period teacher had set down. It was easier to take attendance, return graded papers, and figure out who was talking that way. The girl sighed, agreed, then returned to her seat.

"Pretty nice scenery back there, but I don't think I'd wanna be stuck in it all the time," Kane chuckled to Suichi.

"You prefer to avoid being the start of a cat-fight, as well?" Suichi chuckled. That's the reason he'd started sitting in the front row to begin with, long before Mr. Tomo had been his teacher...

"Nah, those get started over me when I leave, anyway. I just like to _look_ at 'em. They lose their appeal when you have to listen to 'em."

Suichi shook his head and resumed his mild laughter. "You're hopeless," he said.

"Then _you're_ hopeless. You're stuck with me, friend."

Suichi's face drained of all color. "Wh- _what_ did you say?" he asked, as a million feelings swept over him. The strongest one was a sense of deja vu. He'd been feeling it since this boy had arrived, but now, it was stronger than he'd ever felt it in his life.

"You're stuck with me. You said it yourself, I can't move," Suichi's stomach stopped churning as Kane answered. It had just been coincidence. Then, Kane continued giving his reasons. "Besides, every pretty girl here is in love with Kane _and_ Suichi. Can't leave you alone with 'em. They'd suffocate you," he laughed a bit before adding, "You wouldn't last a _day_ without me."

Suichi's skin, which had almost returned to normal, went ghostly white, again. He looked at Kane, to find an all-knowing smirk. There was also that look in his eyes, the coldness that he'd noticed this morning. Now, there was more; those eyes, though a different color, gave off a feeling of familiarity. They looked cold and cruel, but, still, oddly friendly, even _playful_.

_'Am I going insane? There _has_ to be a logical explanation for this! It _can't _be him! I watched him die! This is too much to be mere coincidence, though. Maybe he has learned of my past, and he's playing some cruel joke, but, why? What sense would that make? Perhaps that impostor I fought would have tried such a trick, but he had a reason! He was trying to win a battle through use of a guise. This boy, he smells like a pure-bred human. What qualms could he have with me? And, how could he know?...'_

Kane turned back toward the blackboard as Mr. Tomo returned. He slipped a glance at Suichi. His skin was so pale you could practically see right through it. He knew he'd hit the jackpot on strikable nerves. For Kurama to get _visibly_ upset, it took nothing less than a miracle. Right now, he was clearly an emotional train wreck.

_'That's right, Kurama. You know who I am. Your logical thinking patterns just won't let you _admit _it. That's alright. I'll prove it to you later...'

* * *

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**Hmmm... This could be fun... Now how does our little friend plan to prove who he is? And then, there's the question of where he's been all this time. He died a loooong time before our little fox. Does anyone remember how cocky and "playful" (in a sadistic way) Yoko was against Karasu? Remind you of anyone? **

** Please review!  
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	4. TNT

**Thanks for all the reviews!  
**

**If anyone's curious, Ai means "love" Isamu means "bravery" Bara means "rose" Yuri means "Lily"  
**

**As for how Kane bested Suichi's score, Suichi only missed by 2 points. And then, later, we'll be getting into some other reasons. For now, we'll leave it at this: Yoko's first time in Living World (for an extended amount of time) was less than 20 years ago. That's when he first started learning about things that humans considered important. Kane, had been around the humans a LOT longer. That's all I can say for now. ;o)  
**

**I own nothing. Enjoy! And happy birthday Serena! **

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Suichi ran down the hall and out the main door of his school. He was hoping that Kane hadn't left yet. He headed to the parking lot to look. Though most students walked to school, he'd heard Kane telling a boy that he'd left something in his car. Now, after Mr. Tomo had finally stopped asking him about his plans for college, he raced to get there. 

He _had_ to talk to him. In _private._

He arrived to see Kane standing off to the side of the parking lot, surrounded by a group of boys. Immediately, Suichi recognized 4 members of the wrestling team. He noticed Kaitou, standing a short distance away, and changed his course to him.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Something about Ai. Isamu isn't happy with the fact that she was talking to Kane."

"Isamu?" Suichi looked, and sure enough, there was Isamu; the team captain. He was saying something to Kane, but he couldn't make it out from where he was standing. It was clear from the boy's expression, though, that he wasn't trying to make a new friend. Suichi and Kaitou wandered in closer.

"...to her, ever again!" they heard Isamu say. Isamu only stood 5'8, but he was the team captain for a reason. He'd brought back countless trophies and ribbons for their school.

"Look, _Pimp_-squeak," Kane started. He was still leaning against the wall he'd been on, arms crossed, and his poker face never changed. "I don't give a damn about her. You want her? Fine. I've got 'em comin' at me by the dozen. But don't blame _me_ because you didn't keep your bitch on a tighter leash."

Both on-lookers had the same thought. _'Oh no...'_

"Why you son of a bitch!" That was all it took. Isamu started running at Kane, iron fists already balled. Kane didn't move. Not until, that is, Isamu got within striking range. As soon as Isamu was near enough to take a swing, Kane stepped slightly to the left, and barely lifted his right foot off the ground. He delivered a hard kick to the front of Isamu's leg, just above the ankle. The wrestler's leg was taken out from under him. Losing his balance, he fell,_ face_-first, into the wall Kane had been leaning on.

Kane wasn't done yet, though. Isamu lay there, on his stomach. He started to bring a hand up to what he knew was a broken nose, but he felt Kane's foot, first. Kane slipped his foot under his ribs, and used it to roll him onto his back. He then raised his foot, and brought it down _hard_, landing right on Isamu's sternum, knocking the wind out of him. His arms still hadn't left their original position on his chest. All the other boys from the team watched all this in awe, as did Kaitou. Suichi however, recognized this. He'd seen it a million times over...

As Isamu gasped for air, Kane imparted a little Demon World wisdom on him. "If you can't say something nice about someone..." His poker face turned into a full-blown sneer. "Make sure you can beat 'em up before you talk."

With that, he turned, and started to walk to the few cars left in the lot. Suichi wasted no time going after him.

"We need to talk."

"Usually, when I hear those words, I get accused of being the baby's daddy," Kane laughed.

"This is serious. Who ar-"

"This isn't a good time."

"What do you mean?"

Kane turned his eyes towards the gate. There was Kokoda, walking to Suichi. "We'll handle this later," Kane said. He then walked over to the ugliest car in the lot. It was old, and had definitely seen better days. A black car, with a T-top style roof. Most of it was covered in dings and dents. Suichi also noticed the paint job. About 65 percent of it, he guessed, was merely black spray paint.

Suichi was not, by any stretch of the imagination, a snob. It wasn't that he disapproved of this car, it just struck him as strange that a student of Meio Private Academy, was the owner. Meio was the most expensive school in the area. Most of the other students, who did drive to school, either had a fairly new vehicle of their own, or they drove their parents cars, which were usually none-too-low on the price list, themselves. _'If he couldn't afford any better than that, how on earth did he pay his tuition? Let alone purchasing books and uniforms...'_ Every time he thought he was going to get answers, he ended up with a whole new set of questions.

Kane sat in the driver's seat, legs still sticking out of the open door. He started the car, and the stereo, then, got back out. He started taking the T-top windows out. Suichi, with Kokoda and Kaitou in tow, walked over to him.

"Old Faithful has to warm up for a few. She gets pissy if you don't let her," Kane said as they neared, already knowing what they were thinking about.

Before Suichi or Kaitou could try to innitiate any form of conversation, Kokoda started asking them things. "Suichi, what happened over there? Is that guy alright? You didn't have anything to do with that, did you?"

He started to answer, but the next song started playing on Kane's worn out cassette player. Loudly...

_**(Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi)  
**_

"Hey, I know that song," Kokoda said, satisfied with Suichi's "I'll explain later" look. Kaitou started to rummage through his bag.**_  
_**

_**See me ride out of the sunset  
On your color TV screen  
Out for all that I can get  
If you know what I mean  
Women to the left of me  
And women to the right  
Ain't got no gun  
Ain't got no knife  
Don't you start no fight  
**_

"I left something in the classroom. I'll be right back," Kaitou said to the other two. They nodded and started to walk to the gate to wait for him.

_**  
'Cause I'm T.N.T., I'm dynamite  
(T.N.T.) and I'll win the fight  
(T.N.T.) I'm a power load  
(T.N.T.) watch me explode  
**_

Kane finished getting the two sections of glass tops out, and standing them up in the floorboard of the back. He pulled the car out to the road. Suichi and Kokoda could still hear the song until he was a well out of sight.

_**  
I'm dirty, mean and mighty unclean  
I'm a wanted man  
Public enemy number one  
Understand  
So lock up your daughter  
Lock up your wife  
Lock up your back door  
And run for your life  
The man is back in town  
So don't you mess me 'round**_

_**'Cause I'm T.N.T. I'm dynamite **_

Suichi, even with his problems, found the lyrics amusing. They sounded just like Kane. Actually, they sounded just like Kuronue. Either way, it was the kind of song that got one's attention...

**About 2 Hours Later...**

"Done already, Suichi?" a brunette girl asked.

"Yes, Bara." He was now sitting in a fold-up chair, next to the table they used to make flower arrangements. He'd already watered all the flowers in the large greenhouse out back, swept the floors, and made the only arrangements that had been ordered for today. He liked to keep busy when things were nagging at him. Now that there was nothing left to do, he looked miserable.

"You look like you've lost your best friend," Bara, the eldest daughter of the shop's owner, said.

_'Found him, actually... kind of...,'_ he thought.

"Well, maybe this'll cheer you up." She sorted through the stack of mail in her hands, and pulled out a newsletter from Nihon Barakai (The Japan Rose Society).

"Bara!" her sister called from upstairs, where their family's apartment was.

"Coming, Yuri!" She yelled back. "Think you can handle the shop for a few minutes, alone? Yuri wants me to help her do some things."

"Yes, I'll be fine."

"Thanks, Suichi!" She turned, and bounded up the steps, leaving Suichi by himslef. He read the newsletter she'd given him, until he heard the sound of the bell that hung from the front door, signaling the arrival of a customer. He walked out to find "Kane?"

The boy grinned a little at Suichi's reaction. "You look like you've seen a ghost..."

"I think I may have."

Kane folded his arms, and let his eyes go from one side of the shop to the other. "Nah, I don't like any of these. Wouldn't happen to have any Rose Whips lying around, wouldya?"

_'Now let me see you play it off as coincidence_,' his judgement said to him. "Who are you?"

"You already know."

"Kuronue died, over a thousand years ago. I saw it."

"More like twelve-hundred years ago. A little more actually, but, who's countin'?"

"Impossible!" Suichi was losing his cool again. Twice in the same day, that was nearly unheard of.

"Suichi?" He could now hear Yuri coming down the stairs. "You OK?" she asked at the foot of the steps. "Who's this?"

"Kane, he's a friend from school." Obvious, since they were both wearing the same uniform. "Kane has asked me to help him with something very important. Could you take over the shop?"

"Well, you only have an hour left, and I'm kinda busy. Could it wait that long?"

"Kane has lost his wallet. He needs help finding it before someone else does. All his money is inside."

"Yes," Kane seconded. "And my father gave me the money to pay the electric bill. It's in there, too."

"Oh, well that's awful! I understand, Suichi. Go on. I'll handle the counter."

Both boys gave her an excited "Thank you!" Then, they bolted from the store.

"Where are we going?" Suichi asked, following Kane.

"You'll see."

* * *

**The plot thickens... Now where could Kane be taking Suichi? Cliff hangers; hate to read 'em, LOVE to write 'em LOL I also loved to write the wallet excuse. 1,200 years, and they still know how to handle tag-team alibies.**

** Review time, and thanks for reading:o)**


	5. Body Jumping

**Hi, and thanks for the great reviews! Now, things are about to get complicated, so break out the aspirin. If you haven't seen the Three Kings Saga, I feel for ya, LOL If things are confusing now, just hold on for a few chapters. This is a hard theory to explain without a ten page research paper, so, I'll get the basic idea out here, then, as the story goes on, I'll give more details, and then some lamen term analogies (I'm gonna break it down for Kuwabara later. Can it get simpler than that?). For now, just stay with me...**

**Another thing: I was going to mention this last chapter, my theory on the timeline. Yomi said that after his hit was botched, Yoko went to Spirit World for a _solitary_ life of thieving. This tells me that Kuronue happened before Yomi. In this fic, I'm going with the idea that Yoko and Kuronue were raising Hell together since they were half-grown runts trying to figure out how to use lock-picks. Also, Yomi was Yoko's "second in command," whereas Yoko referred to Kuronue as a "partner," leading me to believe that he regarded him as an equal, not a follower.**

**One more! When they say that a soul "dies off," they mean it heads to Spirit World, not that it literally "dies." **

**I own nothing. Enjoy! **

* * *

Kurama stood facing Kane. They were standing in a wooded area on the outskirts of the city. Now, he wanted to know what was going on. 

"Start explaining."

"And you used to be so patient..."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Kane. Why did you bring me here?"

"For this." Kane jumped high into the air. He came down with a kick that would have done serious damage to Kurama, had he not moved in time.

"I came here for answers, not for a battle!" Kurama was getting perturbed.

"You'll have them, soon enough." Kane's voice had changed. Well, his voice hadn't changed, but his manner of speaking had. He seemed older. The immature, headstrong, smart-mouthed boy that Kurama had seen earlier, seemed to be taking a few minutes off...

Kane dived again, fists flying. Kurama dodged his assault, and then several more after it. Every time he escaped one attack, Kane lashed out with a dozen more, each of them more fierce than the last. After a while, Kurama knew that he couldn't keep this up forever. He had no choice...

"ROSE WHIP!" He was once again facing Kane, holding his whip. He didn't plan to hurt him, not until he knew the answers to his questions, but he wouldn't hesitate to subdue him.

"I was wondering how long that would take." Kane engaged him again. He leaped back, and began to take his shot. He started to swing at Kane, but, the whip stopped moving mid-lash.

_'What's this?'_ he turned his head to see the whip. It was sticking to a tree behind him! Before he had time to think, he heard Kane.

"I think that's the round." He whirled his head to see Kane standing there, holding a scythe in his right hand, which was raised over his shoulder, ready to throw. He lowered it and started laughing. "This long and you still haven't learned."

He looked back at his whip and saw a small boot-knife sticking in it, holding it in place. Kurama listened, unable to form words himself. He didn't believe this! Only one person knew that flaw in his fighting!

"You prepare a strategy for every situation. You make about 4 or 5 back-up plans for each one. But, when something that shouldn't go wrong happens, like your whip disobeying, it takes you a sec to figure it out. Just enough hesitation for a counter-attack, if your opponent knows to expect it. That's the only way I ever beat you when we sparred together."

"Kuronue?"

"In the flesh. Wasn't meant to be _my_ flesh, but, I'm in it anyway..."

"But, how?"

"You're standing here, aren't you? You can't tell me you don't know about soul-transferring. Especially when _I _told you how to do it."

"Human bodies age. You..died," that word left a bitter taste in his mouth. "There's no way you could have lived this long!"

"I didn't. I've died 28 times since I came to Living World. 29 total, counting that little _incident _that got me stuck here to start with."

Kurama's knees felt as if they might buckle, so he allowed himself to fall to a sitting position, and waited for Kane to continue.

"I've been jumping bodies, I guess you could say. Like you said, they age. This is your first time in one, so you haven't been through what happens when your human side dies."

Kurama thought to ask what he meant by that, 'when your human side dies,' but he waited for Kane to answer it on his own. He was still having trouble believing this. He always thought 3 steps ahead. That was how he kept his head about him in all situations, but nothing had prepared him for something like this. It was completely against all logic. Just like the way Kuronue had described his hesitation with the whip. Kurama readied himself for what could and should go wrong, not things that were so far-fetched that they shouldn't happen. Things just worked a certain way. You try to raise your arm, it should go up. You throw a rubber ball at a brick wall, it should bounce. You watch someone die, then assume them to be dead for 12 full centuries, they shouldn't talk to you anywhere outside of the psychiatric ward...

"You already know, when your soul enters the body, it merges with the one that's occupying it. But human souls and demon souls are different. A human soul was never meant to last as long as ours. They age, just like the bodies they inhabit. Eventually, they die, but a demon's doesn't. When the human soul wears out and dies off, ours separates from it. We start back at square one, looking for another human to inhabit. That works, till that one wears out... I think you get the general idea."

"Kind of..." He hadn't been through it, but he thought that this made sense. When he had entered Suichi, he had known that their souls merged. That was how he had been trapped to begin with. He hadn't been able to change at will, because his soul was still connected to Suichi's. After that, when the Idunn Box had caused him to change, he still had the memories of Suichi, but he didn't _feel_ like Suichi. He had turned back into his old self; cold-hearted, cruel... He had retained the memories because Yoko had been there watching all along, but not the feelings, because those were from the side of him that was human.

In the end, that had been what made him decide to leave Yoko in his past. To live as a human. He had never considered the possibility that his soul, or souls, would separate when Suichi's time was done...

"This body's a little different from the other ones I've had." Kane's voice interrupted Kurama's train of thought. Well, derailed it is more like it. "This one didn't have a soul."

"What? How can that be?"

"When a human dies, their body is open for a couple minutes. That's how people are revived after they drown, flat-line, blah, blah. This body died in the womb. After the soul left it, I moved in before it officially died. I got sick of switching personalities and sharing bodies with new roommates a couple of times per century. This one is all mine."

Kurama was still speechless. After today, he should have been getting used to that. One thought did come to mind. _'Why didn't I think of that?'_

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Sorry, this is just a lot to take in."

"I figured as much. That's why I didn't walk up and say 'hi, remember me? I'm your old pal Kuronue. Nice to see you again, especially since we both died..."

"That's why you came to Meio, wasn't it? To get me suspicious, and thus, lessen the shock."

"You're starting to think straight again."

"Partially. You were acting out deliberately, just so I would notice."

"Yup."

"You knew I was there."

"Right again."

"Which means you had contact with someone else who knew me."

"Quite a few of the demons around here know you. I came out here one night. This is where I come to get away from my so-called dad. Demons gather here at night, sometimes. I came here and heard a group of them saying how they couldn't believe the news about Yoko turning into a human. I, uh, persuaded one to tell me what he knew. After that, I started asking around, and found you."

"That makes sense. Gathering information always was your strength. I believe your tricks are what gained us the information needed to perform this change in the first place."

"Yup. Too bad that witch isn't around now. I'd like to know how to get out of this thing," he said, holding his hands up to look at them.

"Get out?" Kurama didn't understand. It was all he could do to stay in...

"I want my body back. I hate this shell. And trust me, after you've been through enough of them, it starts driving you crazy. Every time you get used to being one person, they die off and you get turned into someone entirely new." Kane saw the expression on his friend's face. Shock, confusion, neither of those were even close to what he was feeling. "For now, screw it. It's been twelve-hundred years since we've seen each other. Let's forget the science lesson and be happy to see each other. Sound good?"

"Perfect!"

* * *

**OK, everyone should be thoroughly confused at the moment. Like I said, it'll get easier as we go. Also, if anyone didn't understand why Kane fought Kurama, it was because he knew he'd never believe him any other way. There were a lot of small details I left out of this chapter because it was already so complicated. I didn't want to draw attention away from the main points. I'll make up for it later. Anyway, Whatcha think? Besides that I need more things to fill out my day LOL**


	6. The Brothers

**Thanks for the reviews! This chappie is a little more light-hearted. It should make up for all of the drama in the last few. The next one won't be too harsh either, but it's going to start working us further into the story.**

**Also, if you've noticed (and there's no way you could've missed it...), I've been making Kane a bit of a chauvinist. This has been for a reason...MUHUHUAHAHA (cough, cough) You don't honestly think your girl-power preaching, independent-woman-and-proud screamin' author is going to write a character like this without a reason, do you? When we get a little deeper in, what will happen when a certain bat meets his match? A girl that feels the same way about men as he does about women? "To be used for entertainment purposes only..." LOL You'll looooove this, especially the girls.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

The boys walked through town. After an emotional moment, that they had each vowed never to speak of again, they had headed back for some long-overdue catching up. Kurama had told Kane about Shiori, and his step-family. Kane had already known some of this from his "research," but he wanted to hear it from Kurama anyway. 

Kane had told Kurama about his own living arrangements, which were, to say the least, not quite as cheerful. His father was an alcoholic, and had a habit of going into drunken rages. It was these rages, that had driven his mother to walk out on them when he was just a little over 3. His father tended to disappear for weeks on end, binging with his "friends." Kane stayed at home while he was away, but when he came home, he had learned to stay out of his way. Usually, he stayed at Akari's lounge. Akari was his father's sister. Staying there all the time, he'd met up with some musicians that had played there, and they formed their band.

"Had to have _something_ to pass the time," he said. "It pays decent, too."

"Speaking of which, how did you afford Meio? You said earlier that your father wanted you to quit school and find a job. I doubt if he paid your tuition."

"Bargaining power. I went out of my way to get a perfect score on that test. After that, the school bent over backwards to get me in. They hooked me up with God knows how many types of funding. To tell ya the truth, I think they would've let me in free if I hadn't got help. Test scores like mine give 'em a good rep."

Kurama smiled. "I know what you mean. They gave my mother discounts on my tuition, also. I think they were making them up as they went along."

"I got that impression," Kane laughed.

They came to an ice-cream stand. Neither of them had eaten since lunch, so they grabbed some shakes.

"One chocolate milkshake, please," Kurama ordered.

"And for you?" the clerk asked Kane.

"One strawberry shake."

"Comin' up," the girl responded, giving the boys a wink. They heard her giggling as they walked to the bench a few feet away.

Kurama gave Kane a strange look. "What?" Kane asked.

"Strawberry?"

"I'm a _bat_, I still like fruit. _Sue_ me."

Kurama covered his mouth and chuckled a little. Kane retaliated. "Oh, _what_? Like _you_ haven't caught the smell of a _vixen_ in _heat_ in the last couple decades!"

"Speaking of scents," Kurama started, "how is it that you smell like a human?"

"Little trick I picked up after I got here. Just a simple potion recipe. I'll tell you about it when we get somewhere private. People think I'm weird enough without hearing about my, (_ahem_) past. And_ niiiice_ move, changing the subject and all," he smirked.

"Caught me," Kurama snickered.

The girl turned back to the front of the stand, holding their milkshakes. As they paid, she stared at Kurama like a love-struck pup. Kane once again had to laugh inwardly, to keep from making a scene.

"You could _have_ that one," Kane laughed as they walked away from the stand.

"I'll pass," Kurama said.

"What? You give up on chasing _tail_?" he teased.

"It's too dangerous. I don't want to chance anyone getting close enough to find out about my past."

"Who said anything about getting close?"

"What's more, as you pointed earlier, there are many demons here who know of me. You never know when an old enemy may come for revenge. I don't want to involve anyone else in that."

"You're getting soft, Yoko."

"I'm not Yoko. Not anymore."

"So I've noticed. But, I won't hold that against you," Kane laughed a little. This made Kurama feel as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was happy with his decision. He loved his new family and friends, but having his "brother" back, well, he just didn't want them to be on bad terms. He didn't want Kuronue to harbor any feelings of disappointment or anger against him either. After all they'd been through together, he just didn't think he could stand that.

They finished their shakes, and laughed and joked a little more, making their way back to Akari's Lounge. Kane said he had left his car parked there. They could talk in the car without running the risk of being overheard.

A group of older boys, about mid-twenties or so, were cutting up on the side-walk. They were teasing a boy about Kokoda's age, trying to scare him into handing over his wallet.

"Hey boys, take a look at these two," one of them said, pointing to Kane and Suichi. The rest gathered in closer, blocking their path.

"Sirs, I advise you to step aside," Suichi spoke calmly.

"Hey, get a load o' this one! Hey, this your _girlfriend_?" a second laughed at Kane. "I think you're wearin' the wrong uniform, there, _sugar_!" He reached out a hand for Kurama's chin. In one swift move, Kurama removed his right hand from his pocket and caught it.

**CRACK**

The man dropped to his knees, holding the hand Kurama had just squeezed, to his chest. The rest of the mens' jaws dropped as Kurama placed his hand back into his pocket. His face was still expressionless.

"You'll pay for that, _Princess_!" Two more of them started to attack. Kane rolled his eyes.

**THUMP**

**THUD**

The man on the left had tried to take Kane. Kane had done nothing more than remove his hand from his right pocket, place it to the man's forehead, and _push_. His head had bounced off the wall of the building behind him, and he slid down it.

The one who had rushed Kurama had attempted to punch him. Kurama had caught his fist just before it reached his face, and with a circular motion of his arm, had flipped him over. He landed on his back, out of breath and gasping for more.

The two placed their hands back into their pockets and started to walk away. The boy who had been teased called to them. "Hey! Thanks!"

"Welcome," they nonchalantly said, never shifting their gaze backwards.

"Since when did you become one for protecting the weak and innocent?" Kurama teased Kane.

"I didn't. If anyone's gonna inflict pain, fear, torure and despair on the inferior beings around here, it's gonna be _us_, dammit!" His sly smile returned.

Kurama was smiling wide. As long as it had been since he'd seen Kuronue, it felt like not much had changed. They'd been getting the attention of all the girls, playing mind games on each other, making cover stories together, and now they were inspiring fear among the fools who were stupid enough to contend with them.

The brothers were back together. All was right in the universe...

Well, unless you were dumb enough to oppose them...

They were almost to Akari's when they saw a familiar face stepping out of a restaurant.

Kokoda.

His best friend's parents owned the place, Kurama knew. Of all the times...

"Hey! Suichi! Did Dad send you looking for me? 'Cause I left a message on the mach-" Kurama silenced him with a wave of his hand.

"We were on our way to Akari's Lounge. Akari is Kane's aunt. He parked his car there."

"Cool! Care if I tag along?"

"Not at all."

Kane and Kurama shared a look that said "I guess we'll talk later." What choice did they have? They couldn't tell Kokoda no without arousing some kind of suspicion. They were both thinking the same thing anyway. Akari's was a nice place during the day and the early evening hours, but later in the evening, it got rough. If they let the boy follow them now, they'd send him home later, then they could take off, alone.

Suichi gave his brother stern warning that they were leaving early, before the more rowdy patrons showed up. He had agreed, and they were about to start walking again, when, of all people, Kaitou stepped out of the book store across the street. He waved to them and started to cross.

"Gonna be a full house?" Kane asked Suichi, a little amused. Kurama was getting a taste of the bad luck that followed him everywhere he went...

* * *

**Two updates in a day again! I updated Kurama's Holiday Horrors this morning, too. (Anyone starting to notice my little habit of torturing a certain fox?) Anyway, whatcha think?**


	7. Messenger?

**Hi! I was going to wait a couple days on this, but after that many great reviews? I couldn't wait! So here it is! Most of this chappie is lyrics, but when you see what I ended it on, I think you'll see why I didn't drag it out too much. We're about to get to the turning point where we add some serious humor. Everyone knows what characters I write best. Didn't think I'd leave 'em out didja?**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

The quartet walked into Akari's and up to the bar. A plump woman, with strawberry-blonde hair, came up to them. 

"Kane! I was wondering where you went. Are these friends of yours?"

"Yup. Guys, this is my aunt, Akari, as if you couldn't guess that."

After introductions were through, Akari made a generous offer. "Whatever you boys want to eat, it's on the house."

Kane straightened up on his stool and raised an eyebrow at her. "Alright, what do you want?"

"Wellll, the rest of the band is here..."

"I don't feel like it. It's been a long day."

"Kane..."

"Uh-uh."

"Just a little? To keep the customers from abandoning me? There's quite a few girls up front."

"How many?" Kane asked in a bored and annoyed tone.

"5 songs."

"One!"

"4 then," she tried to negotiate.

"Two."

"Three. Sound fair? And don't forget that your friends are getting free food in this deal."

"Fine, but I'm changing first. There's no way in the darkest pits of the red, blazin' Hell I'm steppin' on the stage in this," he said, glancing down at the uniform whose color he was not fond of.

"Alright. I put your clean clothes on the bed in your room."

"Be back in a few." With that, he walked through a door beside the bar. Kurama noticed some steps before it swung closed. He remembered Kane saying that he stayed with her when his father got too wild to deal with. He said she had a guest room, that must have been the one she was calling his.

A few minutes later, Kane returned. He had changed into a pair of loose-fitting jeans, ripped at the knees, and faded from use. Above that he had donned a plain, white, tank-style undershirt. His hair hung loose now, and a few stray strands hung in front of his eyes. He brushed his fingers through it, trying to slick them back with the rest of it, but they fell right back. Kurama was suddenly overcome with deja vu again. That was almost what he looked like a few short years after they had met. Even the way he had run his fingers through it, was signature Kuronue. He had got that habit by doing it in front of the girls, knowing it drove them wild.

He walked over to the bar and spoke to Akari. "You owe me for this." Then, on his way to the front of the bar-and-grill type lounge, he motioned to a few of the other men there. One stubbed out his cigarette and got up from his table, a few others stopped the game of pool they had been playing. They joined him on the stage.

The bass player introduced them while everyone else pulled on guitar-straps and fumbled with the amps, cords and foot pedals. They appeared to be discussing what they were going to play as they did so.

Next, Kane surprised Kurama, yet again. As if anything he could do should still have that effect at this point. He walked to the front of the stage, black guitar hanging over his shoulder by the strap, and started adjusting the microphone. He was the lead singer, too? He turned his head back to the band, said something, and soon, guitars were going. Once again, Kokoda announced that he knew the song. "School Days. The AC/DC version, I think..."

**C'mon ...**

**Up in the morning and out to school  
The teacher is teaching the golden rule  
American history and practical maths  
You studyin' hard and you're hopin' to pass  
Ooh you're working your fingers right down to the bone  
And the guy behind you won't leave you alone**

**Ring ring goes the bell  
The cook in the kitchen is ready to sell  
But you're lucky if you can find a seat  
You're fortunate if you got time to eat  
Well back in the classroom open your books  
Ooh the teacher don't know how mean she looks**

**Hail hail rock 'n' roll, hail hail rock 'n' roll  
Hail hail rock 'n' roll, hail hail rock 'n' roll  
Hail hail rock 'n' roll, hail hail rock 'n' roooooll**

**As soon as 3 o'clock goes around  
You finally lay your burden down  
Throw down your books and outta your seat  
You go down the hallway into the street  
And you're tryin' to forget just where you've been  
You find a juke joint, you go in**

**You drop the quarter right into the slot  
You gotta hear something that's really hot, like me  
With the one you love you're makin' romance  
All day long they wanted to dance  
And you're feeling the music from head to toe  
As round and round and round you go  
Get over here**

**Long live rock 'n' roll, long live rock 'n' roll  
Long live rock 'n' roll, long live rock 'n' roll  
Long live rock 'n' roll, long live rock 'n' roll, hey**

**Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, rock, rock, rock 'n' roll  
Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, rock, rock, rock 'n' roll  
Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, c'mon  
Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, rock, rock, rock 'n' roll  
Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, rock, rock, rock 'n' roll  
Rock, rock, rock 'n' roll, rock, rock, rock 'n' roll**

Kurama noticed that Kuronue hadn't lost his touch. He was playing to the women the whole time. That song sounded pretty appropriate, too. Judging from their earlier conversation, he didn't think it likely that Kuronue enjoyed getting an education... Probably even less likely that he was enjoying getting the _same_ education over and over...

Kaitou broke the silence the boys had been in since Kokoda's informing them of what song this was. "How do you know all these songs?"

"There are advantages to just having a dad. He didn't keep to close an eye on what my friends and I were listening to." He smiled broad, and then tried to look innocent when he saw Suichi shaking his head. He noticed that Suichi was smiling, too, so he guessed he wasn't in trouble. The guitars began to blare again, and Kokoda, resident champ of Name-That-Tune, nailed it before the first full measure. "More AC/DC. Shake a Leg."

**Idle juvenile on the street, on the street  
Who is kicking everything with his feet, with his feet  
Fighting on the wrong side of the law, of the law  
Don't kick, don't fight, don't sleep at night  
And shake a leg**

**Shake a leg  
Shake a leg  
Shake it again**

**Keeping out of trouble with eyes in the back of my face  
Kicking ass in the class and they tell me you're a damn disgrace  
They tell me what they think but they stink and I really don't care  
Got a mind of my own, move on, get out of my hair**

**Shake a leg, shake your head  
Shake a leg, wake the dead  
Shake a leg, get stuck in  
Shake a leg, shake a leg**

**Magazines, wet dreams, dirty women on machines for me  
Big licks, skin flicks, tricky dicks are my chemistry  
Goin' against the grain, trying to keep me sane with you  
So stop your grinnin' and drop your linen for me**

**Shake a leg, shake your head  
Shake a leg, wake the dead  
Shake a leg, get stuck in  
Shake a leg, shake a leg  
Shake it  
Come on**

**Idle juvenile on the street, on the street  
Kicking everything with his feet, with his feet  
Fighting on the wrong side of the law, of the law  
Spitting and bitin' and kicking and fightin' for more**

**Shake a leg, shake your head  
Shake a leg, wake the dead  
Shake a leg, get stuck in  
Shake a leg, play to win**

**Shake a leg, shake your head  
Shake a leg, wake the dead  
Shake a leg, get stuck in  
Shake a leg, shake a leg  
Shake it  
Oh yeah**

Kane was now talking to the girls up front, who, Kurama noticed, were getting pretty worked up during that last little performance. _'Good girls love bad boys. Some things will never change...'_ Kurama smiled as he thought to himself. He was starting to get tempted to try his hand at flirting again; compete with Kuronue, just for old time's sake. He reminded himself of his current company, and decided against it. They could play some of their old games later.

"Oh, pleeease?"

"Kane, you have to sing one for us!"

After a few minutes of teasing the girls, Kane let them put in a request. It was his last song anyway. After hearing their choice, he adjusted his amp, as did the rest of the band. They just had to pick something from an entirely different genre, didn't they? But, he liked the song. It reminded him of his life. Quite a few of his lives, really. And, they loved the way he performed it. That meant phone numbers...

**My old man's backhand used to land  
Hard on the side of my head  
I just learned to stay out of his way  
I've been in street fights, blue lights, long nights  
With the world sittin' on my chest  
It just showed me how much I can take  
Hard times, bad luck  
Sometimes life sucks**

**That's alright  
I'm okay  
It ain't nothin' but another day  
But only God knows where I'd be  
If you ever stop loving me**

**The bank man, the boss-man, the law man  
All tryin' to get their hands on me  
And I ain't even done a damn thing wrong  
I've been way-laid, freight trained, short changed  
By bigger and badder men  
And all I've got to say is "bring it on"  
Hard rains, rough roads,  
So my life goes**

**That's alright  
I'm okay  
It ain't nothin' but another day  
But only God knows where I'd be  
If you ever stop loving me**

**I need you  
Gotta have you  
In my life, by my side  
Every day I'm alive  
Every night that I'm breathin'  
I'm needin' you**

**That's alright  
I'm okay  
It ain't nothin' but another day  
But only God knows where I'd be  
If you ever stop loving me**

**Ain't nothin' but another day  
But only God knows where I'd be  
If you ever stop loving me**

**If you ever stop loving me**

Kane took his bows, removed his guitar, collected a few numbers, and returned to the group. After Akari spent a few minutes trying to persuade him into "just a few more," he announced that it was time to go.

"It's almost 9, and Suichi's brother is a little young to be around the 'regulars.'"

She agreed, and bade them farewell. Suichi told Kokoda to go straight home, and tell his mother that he was going to stay at Kaitou's house that night to study for a test tomorrow. Kaitou nodded to agree, knowing that this meant he needed a cover-story.

Kaitou walked with the others to the parking lot, saying his good-byes. As Kane unlocked the door, they heard a familiar voice call out to them.

"Kurama? Oh, I'm so glad I found you! I've got a message for you."

As soon as Botan got near, Kurama spoke. "Botan, you must remember to refer to me as Suichi here."

"Oh! Oops." She blushed a little, then looked at Kane, who was now leaning against his car.

"Did she just call you what I think she did?"

"Yes. Botan is a messenger of Spirit World. She already knows about me."

"What? This boy knows about Spirit World?"

"You're on speaking terms with Spirit World employees?"

"Yes, and yes." Kurama answered both Botan and Kane.

"How does Kane know about Spirit World?" Kaitou asked.

"I'll explain everything later," Kurama said, growing slightly annoyed with the waterfall of questions spilling out around him. "Botan, your message?"

"Oh, your presence has been requested at Genkai's this weekend."

"Genkai's? Is something wrong?"

"Wait, _the_ Genkai?" Kane asked.

"Later," Kurama repeated.

"Nothing's wrong, Kurama," she replied, ignoring Kane. "Your favorite bunch of heathens just got back from the other side and they wanted to see you again."

"Heathens? You're talking about- But I thought they planned to stay in _Makai_!" Kurama was bewildered, not that he hadn't been all day... He was starting to feel a minor throbbing sensation right behind his eyes...

"What's a Makai?" Kaitou asked,having never heard it referred to as anything other than Demon World. Kurama gave him an impatient look. "I know. Later, right?"

"Right. Botan, did they say why they came back?"

"I didn't talk to them for long. They just asked me to tell you and Yusuke that they were back, and that they wanted to see you, if it wasn't much trouble."

The words 'if it wasn't much trouble' told Kurama that Touya had been the one she'd spoken to.

"Alright. Tell them I'll be there."

* * *

** That's all for this chappie! Preview of the next: Kurama and Kuronue are about to raise some Hell! It's gonna be just like old times...well, without the demons and bounty hunters... Anyway, whatcha think? This chapter is proof, the more reviews, the faster I write!**


	8. Authority Figures Beware

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews!  
**

**OK, yes, Kurama did go to Spirit World after Yomi's hit was botched. Keep in mind that Spirit World is more than just the castle, but the only other part of it ever mentioned is the River Styx. We don't know what else is there or where he could've been. (I just gave quite a few of you story ideas, huh?)**

**For this chapter, I had to leave out specific details, so if anyone has any bright ideas about trying this, don't bother. It won't work without the info I left out LOL As far as how I acquired this info... I plead the fifth...I _had_ to write this one, though. I've read quite a few Kurama and Kuronue stories. They're supposed to be the greatest thieves who ever lived, but, so far, I've yet to read about them doing anything Wile E. Coyote or a 5 year old who's just watched a James Bond movie, couldn't do. So, here it is; a little dose of reality...**

**I own noting. Enjoy! **

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"And here I thought _my_ life had taken an interesting turn..." 

Kane didn't know whether to laugh or cry; or laugh until he cried. Kurama had helped Koenma? And he had actually been working with a Spirit Detective? This must have been some kind of payback for all of the shockers he'd thrown out at Kurama earlier...

"You said that you knew I had reformed."

"I didn't know you were _that_ reformed. Big difference between giving up a life of crime and_ fighting_ it..."

"True."

"And you broke into Yama's Vault? Damn, I've missed all the good stuff..."

"It wasn't as difficult as we were always led to believe."

"Wish I could've been around to see that. If nothing else, the expression on _Princie's_ face." Kane laughed a little as he turned onto another street.

"I don't doubt that it was, as they say, a Kodak moment," Kurama chuckled.

Kane took note of the sly expression Kurama had. "You _do_ still have a little bit of outlaw in you, don't you?"

"I'm not the man I used to be, but, I'd be a liar to say that I don't feel a twinge of boredom every once in a while."

"Amen. I keep getting stuck with these bodies that max-out as soon as they start getting useful. I haven't been able to pull off any good stunts since I lost my real body."

"What have you been doing to pass the time, anyway?"

"Let's just say, that pendant was just the start of my bad luck. Since then, well, take a look at your history books. If there was a major crisis somewhere on Earth, chances are, I wasn't far away."

"As in?"

"Remember the Berlin Wall? I was in East Germany when that bad boy went up. That was the last life I lived before I got here."

"You're kidding."

"I wish. You think that one sounds bad, you should've tried being a _demon_ in Salem, Massachusetts, back in 1692. _That_ was interesting."

"The Salem Witchcraft Trials?"

"Remember that potion I told you about?"

"You made yourself smell like a human so you wouldn't be found out."

"Yup. My mother was one of the last ones to get dragged to Gallows Hill. I was just 12 when it happened. Good thing I learned to avoid getting attached to them a long time before."

"How did you avoid discovery?"

"A _real_ witch lived in the woods outside of town. She taught me to make the potion. After that, with all the tales of sickness floating around, I hit the bed and stayed in it almost the whole year. They thought I was one more victim of an evil spell."

"You feigned an illness for almost an entire year?"

"Yup."

"You retained your ability to stay out of trouble, I see."

"It was probably a waste of time. There were demons all around the town and the woods. They never found out about a _one_ of them. Everyone they hanged was innocent. Good thing they weren't lumberjacks. The only thing safe in the woods would've been the trees."

"Reminds me of the bounty hunters we encountered outside of Ruto Village," Kurama said, starting to laugh. Kane joined in, remembering the incident he was making reference to.

They had been in search of a Fortress. It was said to be nearly impossible to find without a map. A thief in the area was said to have found the map, and was willing to sell it, knowing he didn't possess the skills required to raid the place himself. Bounty hunters had scooped up the thief before he had a chance to unload the map. They had also snagged quite a few other fugitives in the area; fugitives that Kurama and Kuronue _knew_ had been carrying a nice load of treasure.

The hunters had been slowed with all their "cargo," and had been setting up camp every night. The outlaw duo watched them from the trees just off the side of the camp, and waited for bed-time. When all that was left was a single look-out, they descended from the trees, slew the guard, and robbed the place blind. On the way out, they deliberately woke up the entire camp, just for the sake of adding insult to injury. That had been in the days when they were much more reckless, and just out to have fun.

The hunters gave chase, most of them in their underwear. They sunk bullets, axes, maces, spears, knives, daggers, swords, energy blasts, and at least 20 varieties of hexes into the trees of the forest. Aside from that, they'd also nailed every rock, chipmunk, mosquito, leaf and gnat. In the end, they'd hit every possible target _except_ the two bandits running away with all their goodies.** (Note: There is now a one-shot story about this titled _I Love Being a Bad Guy_. It's turned into a prequel for this fic.)**

Kane sighed. "Good times... Good times." Kurama was smiling now, but not his usual smile. His eyes were filled with the look of a mischief-loving fox.

They continued to talk about the old days. Then they got onto another subject, how bad Kuronue wanted his _old_ body back. After a brief silence, Kurama told him what he had been thinking about.

"There might be a way to arrange that."

"Huh?"

"Botan said earlier that some friends of mine are back in town. I think one of them might know a way. While I'm not sure if he can arrange a permanent solution, he could possibly tell you how to transform into your old self for short amounts of time."

"Start talking."

Kurama told him about Suzuka, and the potion he'd given him.

"So you can change into Yoko at will?"

"If I so desired. I decided that I would stay in this form." Kurama went on to explain his decision to never be Yoko again.

"I've been trying for twelve-hundred years to change_ into_ a demon and you want to stay a _human_? You are one _strange_ individual."

"You're one to talk," Kurama teased.

"So let's go see this guy."

"I plan to visit them this weekend. School prevents it until then."

"You've never _skipped_?"

"If I did, my mother would become suspicious. Don't forget the excuse I gave Kokoda."

"But if school was _cancelled_..."

"Why would it be cancelled? We've just returned from a three week long break." Kurama saw a familiar gleam in his friend's eyes. _'Oh no...' _

"Let's go play."

"Kuronue, _what _are you thinking?"

"Relax. We're not gonna_ kill_ anybody. At least, I don't _think_ so... We're just gonna have a little fun."

"As in?" Kurama was getting more nervous by the second. He knew what happened when Kuronue wanted to "play."

"A little breaking and entering. Nothing too bad."

"Tell me you're joking."

"What? You said you got bored. Don't tell me you can't handle breaking into a school!"

"God, give me strength..."

**A couple hours later...**

The boys stood on the rooftop of the offices, pulling on their gloves. It was only a single floor, so it put them next to the windows of the second floor classrooms. Kane, smiling all the while, pulled out a small pellet gun, and shot a hole near the divider in the center of the window, right beside the lock. They walked to it, then he shoved an ice-pick through the hole, flipping the lock. They climbed in, and made their way to the bathrooms, careful to avoid the security systems that Kurama had warned of.

Kane headed to the boys' room, and Kurama to the girls'. They each had a bag full of the capsules Kuronue had made in the backseat of his car.

He'd bought a bottle of over-the-counter vitamins, in capsule form. Outside, in the car, he had emptied the capsules, and then filled them with pure potassium. Kurama had known what he was planning. This was going to cause a chemical reaction that was _not_ going to be pleasant...

They each started throwing capsules into the toilets, then, flushing. One of these was enough to stink up an entire floor of the school with the way the pipes were run, but as many as they had, school would be out for the rest of the week. Kurama was still asking himself how he got roped into this, but, part of him was enjoying making a little trouble...

They finished hitting all of the restrooms on each floor, Kane taking special care to leave a few extras in the teachers' private one in the lounge. They made their way back to their entrance. Kane asked Kurama to stop for one sec. He wanted to grab some things from the lab.

'_Oh Lord...,' _was Kurama's only thought.

Though most of the classes were left unlocked, the lab door was always locked when there wasn't a teacher inside. Before Kurama could say anything, Kane had pulled a bent paperclip out of his pocket. There was a long string tied to the end, and Kurama immediately knew what this was.

The lazy man's lock-pick...

He watched Kane slip it into the groove between the door and the wall, pull, and _viola_! The door was open. He grabbed a few bottles and stuffed them into the bag the capsules had been in. Kurama knew what these were for; future pranks. They then hurried to the window and headed, stealthily, back to the car.

"I _knew_ you still had it in you!" Kane laughed.

"I knew I still had it in me. I just didn't have a reason to show it."

"You can't tell me you didn't have some fun. I saw that look in your eyes, fox."

"Well, I never said I had anything against a little fun, now did I? I may have given up bloodlust and senseless killing, but there's no harm in a boyish prank, on occasion."

The two drove back to Kane's, knowing his father wouldn't be there, then made plans for the next day, as they continued to laugh and joke of their "striking terror into the hearts and_ nostrils_" of their teachers.

The legendary bandits were back together. Authority figures, beware...

* * *

**Hope you liked! Next chappie: The boys are back in town! If you liked _A Little Misunderstanding_ or _Rinku's Day_, get ready. Till then, whatcha think?**


	9. The Boys Are Back

**As always, thanks for the reviews! I still can't believe this story is getting so many! And so fast! I've been updating a chappie a day and there's still so many:o)**

**OK, this is where I'm going to mention my fics' timeline. I just now updated my profile so this one wasn't on the list before, but, it falls between _Jin's Alibi_ and _Kurama's Holiday Horrors_. If you haven't read my other fics, some of this might go over your head. Not anything _reeeeally_ important, but you might miss a few of the running jokes.**

**Also, if anyone is wondering who Kai is, I wrote _A Sister's Search_ to formally introduce her. She appears in a lot of my fics. I wrote that story for her alone, so that I wouldn't distract from the main characters or plots of the others by trying to fill everyone in on her background. Her personality (and wardrobe...and piercings...) is based on, you guessed it, the smart-assed author who's writing this fic. There's a mini-bio about her on my profile, along with the timeline that these fics go on. They're all made to stand alone, so it isn't necessary to read the others, but they do go in chronological order, and some things (like the jokes) make more sense if you've read the others.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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The boys arrived at school the next morning to see a large crowd of students standing in front of the steps. They were all saying how they just couldn't believe the news! Their school had been vandalized! 

"Suichi!" Kaitou called. He ran over to the duo, his usual panting following. "Did you hear? Classes were cancelled. Someone broke in last night, cleaned out the lab, then they turned the whole place into a skunk-hole. The police are investigating it. They said that due to the smell, classes won't start again until Monday."

"Imagine that," Suichi said in his eerily calm voice.

"Yeah. Who would've seen that one coming?" Kane added. Kaitou couldn't see the secret smile Kane's eyes were relaying to Kurama. After a few minutes of letting their classmates repeat the gossip to them, the boys said good-bye, and started toward Genkai's, stopping at Kurama's house to change and leave a note for Shiori, giving one of the excuses Kurama had used in the past.

**A few hours later, inside a cave...**

"G'day, mate! I thought we'd be waitin' all week to git some comp'ny in this _rock!_"

"Well, Chu, to be honest, I did, too. My school had some minor problems, resulting in classes being cancelled."

"Kurama!" a voice called with a thick Irish accent. Jin came flying around a corner in the cave, followed closely by Touya and Rinku. After they were through with the "nice to see you" phase of the conversation, Kurama announced that he had someone to introduce them to.

Kane stepped out of the shadows. After a brief introduction, they started to walk deeper into the cave. They were heading for the part that the boys had designated as the "living quarters." It was where they did all their cooking, sleeping, and relaxing in between training sessions. And in between trying to kill their roommates...

Shishi was in the "living room," mumbling something under his breath about getting volunteered for something. He was fighting with a tangle of wires and cables, and judging from his hair, he had grabbed some "live" ones more than once.

After Kane had been introduced to a less-than-thrilled Shishi, Kurama felt it time to ask about the person he'd came here to see.

"Where, might I ask, is Suzuka?"

"He's outside with Kai. The mad scientists are trying to get their satellites hooked up," Touya answered.

"Righto," Jin joined in. "Them two wouldn't last a day if they hadta miss Dr. Phil."

"That and their internet thingy-ma-bob," Chu said.

Rinku didn't seem at all upset by this. He was getting satellite TV and free internet access. So what if the old fogies didn't get it?

_'Mad scientists, huh?' _Kane thought._ 'That answers a lot of questions; like how they've got electricity in a cave. These two guys must be as smart as the fox was letting on...' _ He looked around the cave to see a multitude of contraptions. On the far side of this room was a mountain of what appeared to be junk parts that had been raked up and bolted together, but there were power cords all over it. Kane assumed that this was a make-shift generator.

Kurama looked around the spot where Shishi was grumbling. There was a little sliver square; Kairi's laptop, and then, over next to the "wall," there was what _used to be_ a regular, desktop PC. Suzuka had "tinkered" with said PC, and now it looked like something out of an 80's technology special. Parts upon parts had been added, some hooked up through one of the cords and cables in the spiderweb, others through dozens of tiny wires. Quite a few of the parts had duct tape to hold them on. Surprisingly, this computer, in spite of looking like a science project made by the junk-heap owner's kid, worked better than any other computer that Kurama had ever came in contact with. It was probably more sophisticated than the ones in Spirit World's intelligence division.

Kurama and Kuronue started explaining their history to the others while they waited for Kai and Suzuka to finish up. While they talked, Shishi got shocked 3 more times, and, having used up every curse he knew, was starting to invent new ones. Eventually there was a tug on one of the wires, and minutes later, in staggered a very upset blond.

"Ugh. Medic?" he slurred.

Touya went for the first-aid kit, while the rest of the boys snickered at Suzuka, who was holding a hand firmly to his forehead.

"I see you're in need of a less hazardous pass-time," Kurama teased.

"Kurama? I wasn't expecting you until this weekend."

"Well, I could leave, if you like."

"No! You know what I meant. How did you get away from the humans so soon?"

"There was a little mishap at school. We got some time off as a result," he explained again. Then, he heard the female voice behind him.

"So, how much did you have to do with that mishap?"

He turned to see Touya's sister, Kairi; an all-knowing smirk on her face. She'd caught the glint of mischief in his eyes through the mirror Shishi had insisted on hanging. She knew, to an extent anyway, what had happened.

The next thing Kurama noticed, was the look in Kane's eyes. They were about as big as 8-balls. Understandable, considering the girl's attire, but still not_ advisable_...

"We may have had a little something to do with it, but, who knows?" Kurama smiled mischievously.

"You mean, 'who knows how to _prove_ it?'" She grinned back with the same gleam in her eyes that was shining through his. Kurama knew, first-hand, that she was no saint, but he knew better than to say too much of that out loud, since her brother, did _not_. "Well, since you're here, I guess we can call off work for a little while," she said. "Suzuka's damn near killed himself nine times now."

"EIGHT!"

"Nine. Don't forget about that little disagreement you had with the hammer." She walked away, going into another part of the cave. "Be back in a few, boys. I'm gonna go get my jewelry now that we're through playin' with electricity."

Kane looked at Kurama. "Demon?"

"More demon than you want to play with," Kurama mumbled back, trying to warn his friend, but, he had spoken without fully thinking through his answer. After what he'd said replayed in his mind, he figured out that he might as well have issued a personal challenge to Kuronue.

That was his reason for chasing women. He had to conquer challenges that others said couldn't be done. The more untamable the girl was, the more interested_ he_ was. And Kurama knew, from watching the failed attempts of others, that Kairi was _completely _untamable. She thought as highly of men as she thought of _headaches_, and probably placed them in the same category. A man for a friend was just fine, but he knew Kuronue wouldn't be stopping there. _'Merciful Heavens, please grant him the wisdom needed to cut his losses and walk away...'_

The outfit Kairi had been wearing had not helped the situation _at all_. A black, patent-leather mini-skirt, and matching stiletto boots that came to just below her knees. The shirt had been the topper, though. A black shirt, with hot pink sleeves; there was an AC/DC logo on the front in pink foil letters. Below the logo, was a silver cannon, encircled by pink sequins. At the bottom, in silver lettering, it read "FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK..." Of all the days she could've worn that...

When she returned to the room, Kurama was horrified again. That shirt was a belly shirt. The jewelry she'd mentioned was the navel ring, and _four sets _of earrings! Kurama studied Kuronue's grin. He'd made a _biiiiig_ mistake...

Touya returned with the first-aid kit and a zip-lock bag full of water. He handed both to Suzuka, then with a little energy, he froze the water, which Suzuka busted up for an ice-pack. "Kurama, in the mood for a game?"

"Of course." Kurama knew that none of the others played Chess on Touya's level. With the exception of Suzuka, none of the others even _played Chess_. Kairi knew how, but she didn't have the patience. She and Touya were exact opposites when it came to such activities. They sat down at the small coffee table and began to set up the board. Kane came to sit beside Kurama, but Kurama still caught him sneaking glances at his newest "challenge" every few seconds.

"We should at least try to get this done by nightfall," Suzuka, now hurting less, complained at Kairi.

"Forget it _Doctor_. I'm through with Franken-_Dell_ for today. You can go without it for a while." She was now seated in the chair off to the side of the Chess table, sorting through a black vinyl bag. She produced a tube of liquid lipstick and began to apply. Kurama watched Kane's eyes light up like a Christmas tree.

"Easy for you to say! What are _you_ missing? A game of s_olitaire_? That computer is proof of my genius! Do you know what I can do with that thing?"

"Play _Spider_ Solitaire?" Kuronue smiled at Kairi's answer. She was witty. He liked that...

"No respect! My beautiful creation is sitting there, collecting dust, and all you can do is crack jokes!"

"Take Rinku."

"Oh, no! You're not bringing _me_ into this!" the child shot back.

"How did I get volunteered to help anyway?" Kairi asked.

"The same way you got stuck helping him with everything else," Touya answered. "You were stupid enough to let him know you weren't stupid."

"I guess I made that same mistake," Shishi growled.

"Naw," Jin joined in. "Ye were just stupid enough to be his best pal."

"Watch it, lepre-"

"Doooon't startit, Bird-brain!" Jin warned.

"CHAUN!"

"That's it!"

"Take it outside, boys!" Kairi ordered, knowing what was coming. There were a couple of streaks heading in the direction of the room they used to spar in. After that they only heard muffled curses and shouting.

"That's the third time since we got here yesterday," Touya muttered.

"Mates, ya think we oughta try and breakem-up before they kill each otha?"

"Nah," Kairi said. "They'll stop as soon as someone loses consciousness."

Touya nodded in agreement as he moved his first pawn. He saw Kairi doing something out of the corner of his eye, and that face of concentration turned into a glare. "You just put your lipstick on. Why are you getting one of those things?"

Kairi popped the lollie-pop out to speak. "What?" She watched him roll his eyes in annoyance. He was overprotective's definition, and he hated it when she ate one of those in the presence of the opposite sex, even if it was only Jin... which made her that much more determined. "It's kiss-proof," she said, holding up her lipstick. Her face clearly read: Do not start with me. You will not win.

Kurama grinned as he saw Touya's left eye twitch. This was going to be a good one. Then he remembered who was with him... _Not_ so good... Kuronue was watching every move, and Touya was _always_ watching every move... Time for a distraction. "Suzuka, I am in need of your assistance."

"Yes?"

"That potion you gave me, do you have any more?"

"No. I thought you could change at will now."

"I wasn't asking for myself. Kuronue needs to find a way to get back into his demon form."

"Well, you could always do it the old fashioned way."

"Which would be?"

"If you're willing to go to the upper realms of Spirit World, you can just get the fruit that potion was made of. It might take more, since the potion was a concentrated form, but it should work the same."

"Besides the long journey, where's the catch?"

"That fruit came from a forest behind King Yama's personal garden. The only path that still leads there goes straight through. Security is a nightmare."

"How did you come into possession of enough to make the potion?"

"One of my disguises. It was just guarded by simple-minded ogres when I went, so I fooled them into believing I was the new gardener. They bought it, and I cut straight through to the rear gate."

"Well," Kane started. "If anyone could pass for a gardener, it's Kurama."

"That won't work now, I'm afraid," Suzuka said. "After they figured out they'd been had, they tightened the security. No one gets in without being thoroughly checked out. If you wanted to get in now, you'd have to do it with force"

Kurama moved another piece on the board. Then looked at Kane, who then began to speak. "You remember what I said about missing all the good stuff?"

"You don't honestly want to break in, do you?" Kurama asked, starting to get nervous again.

"You got into Yama's vault, and now you're worried about stepping on his dandelions?"

"Suzuka, are you sure there's no other way?"

"If there is,_ I _wasn't informed."

Kane looked at Kurama, waiting for an answer. If Kurama said no, he was fine with it. He understood that Kurama stood to lose much more than he did by getting caught. He would go by himself, if need be. "Kurama, don't think you have to do this for me. You have a life here. Friends, family. You have too much to lose. I'm the one who needs this stuff, I'll go and get it."

"No. You saved my silver hide more times than I can recollect. We'll go together." Not only that, but Kurama still felt that he was partially to blame for Kuronue's predicament. If he had been able to save him that day...

"Kurama...," Kane said, looking fearful of the consequences they might face.

"I hate to break up the touching display of friendship," Suzuka said. "But you're still going to need something..."

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**Well, well, well. Kurama's back in full bandit mode! LOL Next chappie: What does Suzuka mean? What is that last thing they need to get the fruit? And how will a certain Siren take to being hit on? MUHUHUHAHAHA Till then, you know the drill :o) Two updates in a day again (Did A Sister's Search this morning, too)! WOOHOO ! And that's not counting the ones I haven't posted yet (and the three fic ideas that I'm holding back from writing until I get some of the others done...)! Starting to see why I chose the name _Whirlwind_?  
**


	10. Fish Stories

**Thanks for the good reviews guys! I'm glad most of you have stuck with me this far!**

**As far as why they don't ask Koenma: In the Three Kings saga, King Yama didn't like Yusuke, Kurama or Hiei. Though Koenma would probably be willing to help, King Yama would still not be too thrilled with letting them anywhere near Spirit World... while they were still breathing. There are other reasons, but those are later. **

**I apologize in advance for sounding bitchy about this: There was one person who has expressed a dislike of Kairi (before she was in the story long enough to make her purpose known.) and called her a "pointless OC." My definition of a pointless OC is when you have fifty people running around who have no relation to the plot whatsoever other than hanging on to Kurama or Hiei. Kairi is here mainly for the humor. She has other uses, but I plan to use her mainly for that. It's kind of hard to work with a cast full of nothing but guys for a loooong story and keep the humor in (without recycling the same jokes from all my other fics) What're they gonna do? Tell dirty jokes or play "pull-my-finger"? Kai is a link to the age-old battle of the sexes, which happens to be my strong suit. As far as using the girls from the cast, they just don't fit into where this story is going. Botan works for Spirit World, I don't see her robbing it. Kayko, going by that time-line, is a newlywed. Yukina, is, well, _Yukina_, and I just don't see Shizuru or Genkai turning bandit.**** Further, I say this: I mentioned that she was coming back in the notes of chapter 6, and I said that I might do it before the story started.. That was plenty of time to voice a complaint. Now, I'm going to stop bitchin'...  
**

** I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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The crew sat around the "living room." Kurama and Kane were still sitting on the love seat, with Touya, Shishi, and Chu across from them on the couch. Jin was floating cross-legged beside Kairi's chair, and Rinku was sprawled out in the floor, with his head propped up on his hands. They all listened intently to the tales of the two legendary bandits, while Suzuka was searching for something in another room. Well, almost all. Kairi was trying her best to look interested, but she already knew every Yoko story there was... 

Suzuka had told the boys that they were in need of two things. The first was his old map. There was another species of tree in the forest that looked identical to the one they needed. The only way to tell them apart was to taste the fruit, but, the "decoy" tree bore poisonous fruits. Their toxins would kill in a single bite. The map he had, marked the location of the orchard they were looking for. The second was a little more complicated, but they had decided to discuss that later.

The others had asked to hear about their adventures in the meantime, and Kuronue had dived at the opportunity to show off to Kairi. Kurama had known the routine, and was helping him lay it on thick, even though he _knew_ it wasn't going to help...

"How did you get past that many traps?" asked a little boy in a state of awe.

"It wasn't easy. I thought we were both dead. Yoko spotted the stone carvings along the wall. There were switches in the indentions between 'em. All we had to do was hit 'em, problem was, that they were about 50 feet overhead...,"

_'More like 30,' _Kairi and Kurama were both thinking as Kane continued to talk. Kurama caught sight of Kairi's eyes, and he could tell that she was fighting back laughter. Kane didn't know it, but he was digging his hole deeper. If he would've stuck to the true stories, he may have stood a snowball's chance. If he kept this up, saying he had Frosty the Snowman's chance of backstroking 3 laps around the lake of fire, would be _far_ too optimistic...

"Wot about that tale I 'eard 'bout you two gettin' swindled on that thieves guild test and still makin' it in?" a half-drunk Chu asked.

"The Thieves Guild? Oh, they tried to screw us alright. Back in the day, the guild master was known as the king of thieves, until we started to get a little popular. When people started to call us the best, he challenged us to take the entry test into the guild...," Kane said.

_'Not this damned story again! I've heard this one every damned time I've been to the guild! I could prolly tell it better than he can!' _Kairi thought. At least she wouldn't have to hear the _other_ part of that story. The part where centuries later, someone broke their record. Kuronue didn't know that part of the story, and neither she, or Kurama, had plans on telling him. As he kept dramatizing the "animosity" between the two of them and the guild master, she headed to the kitchen.

"Leaving us?" Kurama asked.

"Be right back. I just need something to drink." When she returned, she had a fifth of Tequila Rose in her hand. Kuronue's eyes nearly left their sockets... as did Touya's.

"And what do you think you're doing?" Touya asked.

_'Bad move...,'_ Kurama thought. He knew where this one was going...

"Toy, don't start. 'Sides, it's not even 40 proof," she said, twisting off the top. She had lied though. It was a lot stronger than 40, because she had added a few shots of 190 to it already. The secret ingredient that had made her, Chu, and Shizuru, best pals. Everclear. If she was going to listen to this, she _needed_ something strong. She noted Kurama's sly look. He knew. He probably smelled it when she opened the bottle. _'Thank God he ain't a nark...'_

Touya rolled his eyes and told Kane to continue. He didn't feel like interrupting for an all out family feud. 40 proof was like water for Kai anyway. He'd seen her go shot-for-shot with Chu a great many times. He still wondered_ where_ she learned to hold her liquor though...

"There was a tower about 6 miles north of the guild."

_'3 miles,'_ Kairi thought, taking a swig. She closed her eyes when she did, so he wouldn't see her rolling them.

"No one that went in ever came out."

_'Impossibly guarded with legions of phantoms from beyond the grave...'_

"It was supposed to be impossibly guarded by legions of phantoms from beyond the grave."

_'Traps of all kinds, blah, hell-hounds, blah, poisonous gas from the walls, blah, blah, perilous chasms full of snakes, blah, one false move certain death, blah-blah-blah-yackedy-shmackedy'_

"And getting' past the phantoms was just to get to the _door_. After that, the whole place was filled with traps, and _hell-hounds_ to chase you to 'em. There was poisonous gas that shot out from the walls, chasms over 70 feet wide,"

_'More like 50,'_ Kurama and Kairi exchanged hidden smiles again.

"And if you fell in one, lights out. If the fall didn't kill you, the snakes at the bottom would. One false move, and it was certain death."

_'I could write a book on this stuff... Hey! Maybe I could be an author now that I gave up the _old_ 9 to 5... Wonder if I'd be any good...'_

The boys were spellbound. Kairi was still faking it. She guessed being a woman doomed her to doing that whenever there was a man in the presence...

"We were supposed to go to the high tower and bring back a piece of a crystal that grew from the walls. We couldn't take a big piece, because the walls were..."

'_Pressure sensitive. If the weight changed too much, it would've triggered another trap, causing the door, that was 30 feet away, oops, that's 60 in your book, to seal shut, and the floor would've dropped out from under you, and you would fall 200, 'scuse me, 450 feet onto a floor of spears and swords, impaling you... love how our dear ol' guild master left out that lil' bit of info when he sent us there...' _Kairi finished the story in her head. She knew why Kuronue was adding on, besides the fact that men were just incapable of telling a "fish story" without spicing it up. She'd caught Kurama's signals earlier. He was trying to impress a girl. _'Wanna impress me, pal? Go 5 minutes without looking at my chest...'_

Kurama was thinking again, too. Kuronue finding out that Kairi already knew the stories, would be bad enough, but when he found out that Kairi had been in that tower... Oh, this was going to be good... _'You needn't ask me to help you out of this either. You made your bed, and you'll end up lying in it.'_

"I heard they gave you guys something special for passing that test," Rinku said. He hadn't heard many stories, not at his age, but he'd heard enough to know a few details.

"We got granted full access to everything in the guild. When you pass the test, you get basic membership, which pretty much means, you can walk past the gates and go to the bar. After a while, if you prove yourself worthy, you move up, start getting things like better rooms, free whiskey, that kinda stuff. The only man who had full access was the guild master. When he gave us that test, he placed a bet with us. If we could do it in 48 hours, we got in, basic membership, if we didn't, he got the pleasure of hanging us. We told him we wouldn't do it in 48. We'd do it in 24. And, we wouldn't go in as a team. We'd go one at a time. If we won, we got the same privileges he did. If we lost, we'd admit he was the king of thieves _and_ tie our own damned nooses. Needless to say, _we won_."

The boys were still in awe. The girl was still bored. Jin piped up. "So, how d'ye tell the difference of who's got what'n'all kinds o' memberships?"

"By the crest on their hand," Kurama answered. "When you are granted entry, you are marked with a rank. You must show your crest to the guards as you pass from one area to the next."

"Yeah, like this." Kuronue held up his right hand, and the top began to glow. The boys soon saw a picture of some ancient crest on it. It was surrounded by writing in some language they had never seen before. The same one appeared on Kurama's hand. They were so mesmerized by this, that no one, save for Kurama, noticed Kairi placing her left hand over the back of her right.

The boys continued to tell fish stories for a few hours. Kairi got tired of listening shortly after the thieves guild was brought up. She told them that she needed to take a walk, and Touya hadn't objected, surprisingly. She went out the the woods in front of Genkai's.

She did her regular routine, not much more than a simple kata, and practiced her gymnastics. It wasn't long until she heard the voice.

"You know, you'd fight even better if you had someone to train with."

She turned to face Kuronue. He was leaning against a tree with his arms folded across his chest. The look on his face brought a smile to hers. He was sooo sure of himself. He reminded her of the type that usually wrote her off as a simple-minded, good, little girl. The kind who would come running to a big, strong, bad-boy like him.

This was going to be fun.

"You offering?"

"I'll be gentle."

"You're on."

Kuronue smirked as he strutted forward. He looked her over to decide how to do this. He didn't want to hurt the poor little thing. He decided he'd just pin her and let that be it. She'd probably end up making out with him within the hour...

"You ready?" he asked.

"Whenever you are."

"Then GO!" With that, he jumped high into the air. He was going to come down on her, probably tuck an arm under her so she wouldn't _break_ when she fell, and put her on her back. That would be the round.

As he came down, he noticed that she wasn't moving. She had her arms crossed, and she was smirking a lot like he had been. She lowered her chin, and began shaking her head. He watched her put a foot behind her. She was going to step back when he landed. Like he hadn't seen _that_ a million times before! And she could have _at least_ waited until he got close! That was a dead-giveaway! He was nearly on top of her now...

_'What?'_

Just as he was about to make his move, the foot that she had brought to her rear, quickly moved to her front! She stepped forward, causing him to miss her altogether. This wouldn't have been a _major_ problem, but before he could turn, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his left leg. She'd mule-kicked him, rather hard, right in the bend of his knee, causing it to give. As soon as that single knee hit the dirt, he felt something around his neck; her elbow. He was head-locked, and there was something sharp poking directly at his jugular vein.

In her most seductive voice, she said, "I think that's the round."

He was speechless. She had her left elbow yanking his chin toward the sky, and in her right hand, there was a dagger, a _long_ dagger, and it was pointed right at his throat.

She released him, but he didn't make haste in getting to his feet. His knee was throbbing. Who knew heels could do that much damage? He sat on the grass, facing her, then plopped down on his back. He was still in shock...

He was even more shocked when she sat down astraddle on his stomach. She leaned in toward his face, then down to his ear. She let her hands work their way to the collar of his shirt. He may not have done it the way he'd planned, but he just _knew_ he'd done it! He was going to get his prize anyway!

He heard that same seductive voice again. "Never judge a fighter's worth by the length of her skirt."

"Huh? Whoa-" She stood, catching him by surprise. The biggest surprise was that she still had a grip on his collar, and she _yanked_ him to his feet as she came up.

"_See_ ya," she said, as she started making her way back toward the cave.

"What the hell just happened here?" he asked himself. He was answered by the sound of laughter from the trees overhead. "How long have _you_ been there?"

"Long enough."

"Find the show interesting?"

"I was more concerned with figuring out how many ways I could restate the phrase 'I told you so,'" Kurama said, trying to keep from being overcome with laughter. He dropped out of the tree, next to Kuronue.

"Very funny. Why didn't you tell me about _that_?"

"I _did_ try to warn you."

"You said I didn't want to _play_ with her. You never mentioned a dagger, that from what I can tell, was designed for _gutting_. They start teaching that in demonic home-ec since I've been here?"

"From what I could tell, playing with her is exactly what you had in mind. There is much you still don't know about her."

"So, did you come all the way out here to get a good laugh?"

"Actually, I came here to tell you that Suzuka found the map. We are still in need of some assistance, though."

"As in?"

"We need another person. There is a great river that is said to be poisonous to those who touch it."

"They're big on poison, huh?"

"There is a bridge, but the switch is on the far side. We need someone capable of flying over to activate it."

"Let me guess, your wind master pal?"

"No. If someone as strong as Jin tried to get it, he would be caught before we made it through the gate."

"Then who else have we got?"

Kurama started walking, an evil grin on his face...

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**The bat's pride is wounded... Poor thang... And Kurama is_ lovin_' it! He's not the one I'm torturin' for a change! Next chappie: They have the map, now who do they need? And, I give you fair warning, it prolly won't be next chappie, but within the next few, we'll be seeing the _cutest_ little creature that ever lived. Think you can guess what it is? ;o) Till then, you know the drill!**


	11. Fox Tales

**Hi! This chapter is a little extra one I threw in for laughs. This should make up for all of the drama at the beginning and then some... Don't take this one too serious, considering I'm going on 25 hours without sleep and I'm so tired now that I can't go to sleep! Anyway, I hope you like the added dose of comedy... (And the early update.)**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"Kairi!" Kurama called. She turned with an annoyed expression. This was sure to be an interesting team... 

"Yeah?"

"I need to ask a favor of you."

"Of _her_?" Kane asked. "Don't tell me."

"Yes," Kurama replied coolly

"Oh_ hell_ no."

"She's the only one weak enough to make it past the guards without being detected."

"Thanks, _pal_. You _flatter_ me," Kairi said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well, you know I speak truth," he said, not helping to put her in a better mood.

"There's no way," Kane said. "I'm not baby-sitting this chick."

"Baby-sitting?" She was really starting to not like this guy. "Scuse me, but didn't I put you on your ass a few minutes ago?"

"Pft. I didn't want to hurt you. I wasn't moving half as fast as I could have."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Next time I think I'll hit you in the _head_. Maybe that'll _deflate_ it a little."

"You _honestly_ think you could beat me? Chickie, on your best day, you couldn't_ bruise_ me on my _worst_, and that's sayin' somethin' considering on my worst days, I was _dead_!"

"Oh, I forgot, legendary bandit. _Please_ forgive me," she said, rolling her eyes.

"In case you don't know, I was wanted for over 479 _major_ thefts before I was 15." He was about to continue, but her giggling made him stop.

"All _that_ tells me is that you left enough evidence to get _caught_ 479 times within a span of 15 years. Not a very impressive run, if you ask me."

"Oh?" Kuronue was _pissed_. "Well if you could do any better-"

"I _have_," she interrupted.

"Say what?" he asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

"_Thieves_ don't impress me much." She turned her back and began to walk away. It was then that Kuronue noticed Kurama, who had been leaning quietly against one of the trees. He was looking _quite_ amused.

"What do you know, fox?" Kuronue demanded.

"Not much. Just her former occupation."

"Which _was_?"

"Mercenary."

"WHAT?"

Kurama just smiled. He pushed himself away from the tree and started to go after Kairi again. He needed to talk to her before they got back in Touya's earshot.

Kuronue was even _more_ pissed now. "You didn't think to mention this earlier?"

"You didn't ask."

"You coulda mentioned it _before_ I made a complete _ass_ of myself!"

"But you were doing so well," Kurama finally got _his_ turn to smirk, and he was milking it for all it was worth...

Kuronue mentally stored that smug look away for future uses. The fox was going to pay for this, _dearly_. For now, something else was puzzling him. "You wanna tell me how that chick is supposed to be a merc? She's not puttin' out enough energy to fill a human 1st grader."

"She doesn't have enough to. She operates through stealth and logic alone."

"Why does that sound _so_ familiar?" Kuronue said with his own strong sarcastic tone.

"If we take her, I assure you, we won't be baby-sitting. She's independent to a _fault_. She'd be offended if one of us opened a _car door_ for her; she'd never stand for having one of us _protect_ her."

"I _still _don't like this."

"Would you like to stay in that body?"

"Let's go."

"I didn't think you would pass up your chance at escaping your chains."

"If you'd had to go through _puberty_ as many times as I have, you'd know why..."

**A few minutes later, outside of the cave...**

"Alright. But, just so we're clear, I'm only doing this because _you_ were the one who asked. I still owe you for not talking," Kairi dully said to Kurama. She snapped her bag onto her waist and called over her shoulder. "Toy, I'm going to town with Kurama. I'll be back...eventually..."

"What?" Touya was already on his way out for 20 questions. "Where are you going?"

"Well, first we were going on a date, prolly on a dark, deserted, country back road somewhere, then we were going to elope, then we figured we'd pick up some tommy-guns and knock over a few liquor stores. After that we were gonna go join the Hell's Angels, sacrifice a few baby goats, smear ourselves in blood and dance naked through a bonfire." Touya did not like her answer...

"We'll be back, soon," Kurama answered, with that same eerie calm he always had. "If it gets too late, I'll let her spend the night with Shizuru. I promise, she's in good hands."

"If it was anyone else asking, her being in _good hands_ is exactly what I'd worry about." Touya said. Kurama gave him a "trust me" smile. He sighed, and returned to the cave.

"Well, well. A _mercenary_ who has to _ask permission_ to leave the house," Kuronue smirked.

"I don't recall _asking_," Kairi replied curtly.

"So, you ever get grounded for breaking curfew cause you grabbed the wrong mix for those concrete shoes?"

"Shutit."

"You know, they put those _regular_ bags of cement right next to the Quik-rete..."

"I. Said. Shutit."

"Whaddya use for razor wire? A stretched-out _Slinky_?"

"You're _starting_ to get on my nerves."

"How 'bout motion-activated alarms for the hide-out? You put a Furbie by the door and wait till he speaks? Or did you go a little more high-tech and get one of those Robo-Dog things in place of a Doberman?"

Kairi would've asked Kurama to call him off, but he was snickering too hard. He was trying to keep from all out laughing. _'Oh, so that's how you wanna play, huh?'_ she thought, looking at the fox. "Well if I _did_, it wouldn't be any worse than the legendary bandit, Yoko Kurama, going to the movies to watch the **_Powerpuff Girls_**."

The fox stopped laughing.

"What? You didn't!" Kuronue looked at Kurama, waiting for the green-light to torture him.

"Not by _choice_!" Kurama said. "How did _you _hear about that? It happened before you met me!"

"My brother tells me everything, and I do mean _everything_..." Now _she_ was the one wearing the demonic grin. Funny how the tables kept turning...

"No way! Kurama, you went, wait," Kuronue couldn't get the words out for laughing. "You _paid money_ to see the _**Powerpuff Girls**_? In a _public place_?" Kuronue's actions hinted that he might have to sit down and double over from all the guffawing.

"I _said_ it wasn't by choice!" Kurama defended himself, his cheeks now nearly matching his hair. "I was on a date! The good theaters were closed, so we had to take what we could get! It was _Botan's_ idea!" Normally, Kurama didn't care what people thought, and he wouldn't have given them so much pleasure, but with Kuronue, it was different...

Kuronue hit the ground. He was belting out laughter so hard he couldn't catch his breath. Kairi was soon right beside him, holding her ribs. Her face was almost as red as Kurama's, but more because, she, too, was having trouble breathing from the laughing fit.

After Kuronue caught his breath, he decided that it would be a shame to waste that look on Kurama's face. "Well, now that we're on the subject, remember that girl, Roku? The chick with the six fingers on her left hand?"

"Kuronu_eee_...," Kurama growled. A warning to drop this subject...

"I wanna hear this!" Kairi giggled.

"Well, we were at the tavern in the guild," he started.

"The Loft or The Cellar?" Kairi asked, referring to the two taverns in the guild. The Loft was meant for the higher-ups, but a lot of them usually stopped by The Cellar anyway. The women were easier there...

"The Cellar."

"Doh!" They both burst out laughing again. The women at The Cellar were easier for a reason... They weren't exactly the pictures of beauty...

Then something occurred to Kuronue. "Wait a minute, how do you know about the guild? Don't tell me you were-"

"One of the floozies? _Hell_ naw. I'm a member."

"What? Women aren't allowed membership... least not when_ I_ was there..."

"They _still_ aren't, but the prick in charge never _did_ learn how to gamble.." She smiled and held up her hand, showing the exact same crest that Kuronue and Kurama had on theirs. The only difference was the writing that showed the years they had joined.

"I don't believe what I'm seeing... "

"Yes," Kurama started. "She was underestimated. When she went to-"

"Anyway, like I was saying," Kuronue said, cutting off Kurama's attempts to change the subject. "We were at the tavern, and this_ huuuge_, pot-bellied wom-"

"I think we should get going," Kurama cut-in.

"Still mad about that one?" Kuronue laughed.

"Why would I be mad?" Kurama asked, fighting to keep from saying it through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, how much did you have to do with it?" Kairi asked, getting back to her feet.

"Nothing, but he was still pissed the _next day_ cause I didn't stop him the_ night before_." Kuronue and Kairi burst out laughing again, and Kurama's cheeks felt so hot that Hiei would've got a blister from touching them.

"Are we ready to go yet?" the poor fox asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Yeah," Kuronue answered. He figured he'd got enough revenge for that little round of teasing Kurama had put him through earlier.

"Relax, fox," Kairi said, still slightly giggling. "I already knew you weren't a saint."

"Oh?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Everyone at the guild tells Yoko stories. We've _all _heard how you used to sow your wild oats Saturday night, then spend _Sunday_ praying for crop failure," she said, sending Kuronue into another fit of laughter.

_'Well,' _Kurama thought_. 'At least they've found a way to co-exist without killing each other. But why did _this_ have to be the _one topic_ they could agree upon?' _

This was shaping up to be the longest trip Kurama had ever taken to Spirit World, and they weren't even off the mountain yet...

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**Hope you like the little torture-fest. I couldn't sleep so I just threw this chappie together for some extra giggles. Whatcha think?**


	12. MUTINY!

**Hiya! Thanks for the reviews! I was surprised at how fast they came in after that last one, I figured it would suck considering that I was out of it when I wrote it...**

**This one is based a lot more on fact than fiction. I was going to put this in another fic, but it just seemed to fit in this one, with Kane's job and all. This is based on something that really happened to me back when I was a singer. About 95 percent of my crowd is in some kind of band. A lot of them, I met through traveling shows, and we ended up getting some good road stories and games out of it. This ended up being one of those games, but this is based on the story of how we got it started. The songs are different from the ones we used, (the kiddies can't read the lyrics for the ones _we_ used LOL ) but I think you'll get the idea.**

**BTW: Chap 13 is finally FIXED!  
**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"Now _that_ is a thing of beauty...," Kane said, stopping to admire the gorgeous sight that filled him with so many feelings of warmth and desire. 

"Road King," Kairi said. "Had to park it here and let Genkai put a spell on it."

"Spell?"

"You touch it without the knowing the safety word...Well, let's just say it beats the hell outta anything ADT's ever came up with..."

"Wait, by had to park it, are you tellin' me that's _yours_?"

"Yup. My baby."

"_You've_ got a Harley?"

"That's what I just said."

"A Road King? I thought chicks stuck with smaller bikes."

"Why do you think I took the saddle-bags off? It looked like a black schoolbus next to any other bike."

"You mean you _had_ 'em taken off."

"No. I mean _I took_ 'em off. You know, tools, manual labor?"

"_You_ worked on that thing yourself?"

" I did all the custom work to it. I keep up the maintenance, too."

Kane took a look at the dolled-up girl in front of him. Jewelry... Manicure... "No way."

"What? It's just a V-Twin. If I couldn't handle _that_ all by my little lonesome, I wouldn't bother leavin' the house on anything but a _bus_."

Kurama sat in the shade under a nearby tree. They were off the mountain, at least. He would've rushed them, but he was is no hurry to hear about his wilder days again. They were happy insulting each other most of the way down, but he'd noticed that when he reminded them that he was around, they _turned_ on him...

After a heated discussion, which Kairi won, about the Road King's chassis, fuel injection, torque, and a few other words that, believe it or not, left Kurama feeling rather confused, they were once again on their way. Kane leaned in to his friend when Kairi got just out of hearing range. "Well, I'm either gonna _marry_ her, or _murder_ her. I'm havin' trouble decidin' which..."

"You _comin_'? I'd like to get this done sometime in the next _decade_."

"But I know which one I'm _leaning_ towards," he added through gritted teeth.

They finally got back to Kane's car, and headed for the city. They needed to grab a few things and give Shiori a good excuse. This might take a day or two, and they didn't want her reporting him missing.

The boys walked to the door, leaving Kai in the car.

"Oh, Suichi! So this is the new friend you spoke of in your note?"

"Yes, Mother. This is Kane. I was showing him around town."

"Good evening, ma'am," Kane said with, what was possibly, the most polite tone he'd used in his life... or _lives_...

"It's nice to meet you," she replied, shaking his hand.

"Mother, I was thinking of going to spend the night at Kane's house. Is that alright?"

"Of course, dear. Do you need me to get you some clothes?"

"No, that's alright. I can get them."

The boys went up the stairs to Kurama's room. He threw some clothes in a duffle bag to look convincing, and then he went after the things he'd _really_ come for. A compass that told the way to the nearest gap in Psuedo Space, and a stone that would make it visible.

On their way back outside, Shiori caught Kurama by surprise. "Suichi, that girl in the car, I thought I saw you two out on a date not long ago."

"What? You must be mistaken. She's just a friend." It took Kurama a minute, but he figured out that she must've seen Botan. Kairi's hair color wasn't much different than hers.

"Alright, Suichi. But if you need to talk about anything, you _will_ tell me, won't you?"

"Mother, I promise you, there is nothing to worry about." Kurama felt his cheeks getting warm again, and Shiori came up with her own reason as to _why_ they were.

"Oh, don't worry. I knew you were getting about that age. I just can't wait until you take a wife!" As she spoke Kurama saw a twinkle in her eyes. "One of these days, you'll even be bringing me grandchildren!" She smiled wide. Kurama noticed that Kane was doing the same thing right behind her, but he was trying to keep from laughing...

After Kurama rushed through his good-byes, he and Kane walked back out to the car. Kane was snickering the whole way.

When they got in the car, Kane folded his arms over the steering wheel placed his head on them, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. In the back, Kurama was sighing, and there was what sounded like a muttered "why me?"

"What'd I miss?" she asked, knowing that there had been some kind of fox-torture happening.

"Not much," Kane answered. "Hey, maybe you should tell her that her grandkids are on a _towel _somewhere. Course, _Yoko_'d be _glad_ to fill the request.. Wonder if she's got anything against furry relatives... Maybe even _scaly_ if drinks are cheap enough..."

Kurama looked miserable again, Kane was guffawing again, and Kairi was just out of the loop. The latter had a feeling that she might be better off staying that way.

It wasn't long until they were at Akari's. Kane needed to give her an excuse so his dad wouldn't call the cops on him. The police already had a nice thick file on the "habitual runaway," and he could live without them hassling him.

Upon exiting the car, they saw Kaitou walking toward a bookshop he was known to frequent. "I'm gonna go pick on the nerd," Kairi said, flagging him down. "I'll be over in a few."

The boys headed in. Akari was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. The place was packed...and _silent_. The only noise was coming from the rowdy customers. Kane was about to telll Kurama that it was time to go, but Akari had already spotted him.

She started begging him to play, to calm the customers down. Though Kane argued, there was a fox that still wanted a little retribution for that towel comment...

"Kane," Kurama said. "We have plenty of time. You should help her. It looks as if she has her hands full. I'm sure you could sing a few songs to help the dear woman, after all you said she's done for you." Kurama's demonic grin was back.

"Thank you," Akari said. "You're such a nice young man. Kane, _you_ could learn a few things from this boy." Akari couldn't see the hidden messages their eyes were conveying. Kurama's eyes may as well have been flashing the word 'payback' in big neon lights. Kane's were saying, "Fox. You. Will. Pay!"

After a little more pestering, more from Kurama than Akari, Kane hit the stage. He started out with Alice Cooper's School's Out, gaining a laugh from the only other person who knew _why_ school was out. He went through quite a few others, then Kairi walked in. Now, he could've used that as an excuse to get going, but before he could finish the song that he was on, and get off the stage, Kurama had filled her in on the situation. Kane could tell by the evil look she adopted, that she would play along with fox-boy. Might as well make the best of this...

Though he and the fox had suffered some decent blows to their pride that day, there was still a certain female who had yet to blush. Right now, _he_ had control of the mic. She'd _regret_ that...

Just when he was about to start the torture, a big guy, about 6'4 walked up to her, and it was pretty clear what he was trying. '_Oh, hell no you don't, prick. As much bitchin' as I've had to hear from her, if _anybody's_ goin' there, it's _me!'

He turned back to the band and gave the word. As the guitars started, the siren recognized the tune right off the bat. Cherry Pie...

**She's _my_ cherry pie  
Cool drink of water  
Such a sweet surprise  
Tastes so good  
Make a grown man cry  
Sweet Cherry Pie  
Yeah  
Wow  
Heh Heh  
Well swinging on the front porch  
Swinging on the lawn  
Swinging where we want  
Cause there ain't nobody home  
Swingin' to the left and  
Swingin' to the right  
I think about baseball  
I'll swing all night, yeah  
Yeah, yeah - huh!  
**  
**Swingin in the living room  
Swingin' in the kitchen  
Most folks don't  
Cause they're too busy bitchin'  
Swingin' in there  
Cause she wanted me to feed her  
So I mixed up the batter  
And she licked the beater**

**I scream, you scream,  
We all scream for her  
Don't even try  
Cause you can't ignore her**

**She's my cherry pie  
Cool drink of water**  
**Such a sweet surprise  
Tastes so good make a grown man cry  
Sweet cherry pie  
Oh yeah**

**She's my cherry pie  
Put a smile on your face****  
Ten miles wide  
Looks so good  
Bring a tear to your eye  
Sweet cherry pie**

**Swingin to the drums  
Swingin to guitar  
Swingin to the bass in the back of my car  
Ain't got money, ain't got no gas  
Get where we're goin if we swing real fast**

**I scream, you scream,**  
** We all scream for her  
Don't even try  
Cause you can't ignore her**

**She's my cherry pie  
Cool drink of water  
Such a sweet surprise  
Tastes so good make a grown man cry  
Sweet cherry pie  
Oh yeah**

**She's my cherry pie  
Put a smile on your face  
Ten miles wide  
Looks so good  
Bring a tear to your eye  
Sweet cherry pie  
Yeah  
Yeah**

**Swing it  
All night long  
Swing it  
Hey, hey, Ow!**

**I'm a trained professional  
Swingin' in the bathroom  
Swingin' on the floor  
Swingin' so hard  
Forgot to lock the door  
In walks her daddy  
Standin' six foot four  
Said, "You ain't gonna swing  
with my daughter no more."**

**She's my cherry pie****  
****Cool drink of water  
Such a sweet surprise  
Tastes so good make a grown man cry  
Sweet cherry pie  
Oh yeah  
She's my cherry pie  
Put a smile on your face  
Ten miles wide  
Look so good bring a tear to your eye  
Sweet Cherry Pie  
Sweet Cherry Pie  
Yeah! Huh!  
Swing it!  
**

His trick worked exactly like it was supposed to. He'd stared and pointed at her the whole song, and it was impossible not to know who he was singing to. The man who had been flirting had headed for the hills as soon as Kane started, thinking that she must've been Kane's girl. He continued to harrass her with **Welcome to the Jungle** by Guns & Roses. Kurama was thoroughly enjoying this. He wasn't the one being picked on for a change. He'd let them battle it out all night if they wanted, as long as it wasn't him. The gap wouldn't be open for a little while anyway, so they had some time to kill. Akari wasn't hurting the situation. She thought what everyone else did about Kai.

Kane was ready to take a break, and both demons at the bar knew it. When Akari started asking questions, Kurama figured out what Kairi had in mind for revenge, and he helped her pour fuel on the fire...

"So where did you meet Kane," Akari asked.

"Oh, I'm a singer. We met while I was buying some new equipment."

"Yes, she's quite good," Kurama added, careful not to show that evil smile that he felt was near.

"Oh? A singer? Well, if you ever want to sing a few songs here, you just go right on ahead. It's like pulling teeth to get Kane to take the stage." Another wave of customers pulled Akari to the other end of the bar, and Kairi and Kurama exchanged a look that was clearly _not good_ for Kane.

Kane placed his guitar on its stand and headed to the bar, smirking at Kai. As soon as he sat down, she stood up. He watched, bewildered, and _worried_, as she walked over to talk to the guys in his band. Now they wouldn't _flirt_ with her. He knew that much. The other guys' girlfriends were _off limits_. If her plan was to go out with one of his friends, she was out of luck. What she did next though, left him even more confused. After a few minutes of smiling and giggling, they started heading for the stage! _'What the-?'_

The band grabbed their instruments, and Kairi grabbed _his_ guitar. _'What in the hell are they doin'?'_

It was about that time that Kurama informed him of something. "You know, sirens are very talented with instruments. They can play nearly_ anything_ by ear."

"You couldn't tell me that a few minutes ago?"

"You d-"

"If you say I didn't ask, I'm making you take a bite of that fruit just so I can tie your tail in a knot!"

Kurama laughed mildly, and then the band, and the temporary lead singer/guitarist, started playing.

**Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
That's O.K., lets see how you do it  
Put up your dukes, let's get down to it!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!**

**You come on with your come-ons, you don't fight fair  
That's O.K., see if I care!  
Knock me down, it's all in vain  
I'll get right back on my feet again!**

**Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!**

**Well you're a real tough cookie with a long history  
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me  
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case  
You better make sure you put me in my place**

**Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Come On, Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away!**

**Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!  
Fire Away! **

Kane's jaw had hit the floor not long after she started. She'd let the whole bar know who that was meant for! The _same_ way _he_ had... That wasn't _fair_! Well, not unless _he_ was the one doing it...

The boys in the band walked over to the bar, pretending that they just needed drinks.

"Bite off a little more than you could chew there, pardner?" his bassist asked.

"This. Is. _MUTINY_!" Kane growled. She'd just issued an open challenge, with _his_ guitar, and **_his_ band**!

"Whaddya know?" his drummer started. "There _is_ a woman who can turn him down!" They were rubbing it in, and they probably would for a_ loooong_ time...

"Turn him _down_?" the rhythm guitar player joined in on the heckling. "_I've_ been _shot_ _down_, looks to me like he just _crashed_ and _burned_!" With that they all erupted into laughter. Kane wasn't speaking. His face looked like there was going to be steam shooting out of his ears any second. Kurama was grinning ear to ear. Kane looked past the fox, to see the girl who had got this started. She was watching it all with the smuggest look he'd ever seen. Just as he was about to nail her, Akari came over.

"It's about time he found a girl that could keep him in line," she laughed.

"WHAT?" Kane was getting more pissed by the second, and Kurama's chuckling was NOT helping.

"You keep an eye on him for me," Akari finished, ignoring Kane's reaction. Then she turned to him. "I can't wait to see the children!" she teased. Kurama felt like he was going to head off the barstool laughing.

"Children? Me? Her? Yeah, course you can see 'em. Just check with the local jail to see when visiting day is."

She rolled her eyes at her nephew's wise-crack.

After a few more minutes of heckling, Kurama checked his compass under the bar. The gap should be opened soon. They headed out to the street. They were back on their way to Spirit World. And now, they all had new emotional ammo. They might end up killing each other before they even found their portal...

* * *

**Next chappie: Entering Spirit World. And, Kurama's going to fill the crew in on some other things Suzuka told him. If anyone wants to see that Harley, LOL, go to the Homepage link on my profile. You'll see your author's big-ass sittin' on it! Now you know why I have so much time to write. This ain't ridin' weather...**


	13. Blue Lights

**Sorry about this one folks. The site has been givin' me trouble. I've deleted and updated this one a few times and the URL is screwy. I could get it on my preview, but you couldn't access it any other way, and the URL from the alert email was a dead end.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy! **

* * *

The stone in Kurama's hand began to pulse with blue light. 

"I hate that thing already," Kuronue said.

"Same here," Kairi agreed.

"Why?" the fox asked.

"I'm paranoid about blue lights," Kuronue stated, not being able to pull his eyes from the stone.

"Ditto. Especially when they're flashin'," Kairi added.

"Would it help if I gave you a distraction?" Kurama asked.

"Probably not, but you can try," Kane said.

"There are a few things we should go over before we get to the other side," the fox said. "After looking at Suzuka's map, I've determined that King Yama's men will be the least of our worries." Kane raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing. "We will be traveling through his garden, but that should only take a few minutes. Most of our trip is through the wilder sections of Spirit World. The only reason that we even have to enter the garden is because the road that used to lead to our forest was destroyed. When traveling through the wilderness, we are free to use whatever means we must, but while in King Yama's territory, we should use as little force as possible. If we are merely trespassing, and do no harm while we're there, we probably won't receive punishment later, but if we spill the blood of one of his men, he will seek vengeance. Also, be advised, the roads we will be taking are riddled with hazards. You had best use caution at all times. There are many places on this map that one may easily be ambushed. We will likely encounter problems, so be ready."

The other two nodded, looking a bit more serious now. It was time to go to work. They could play later.

Kairi had one thing to say to all this. "I'll handle myself through most of this, but, don't forget how I fight, Kurama."

The fox caught on instantly. "Kuronue, we will take the lead on the way through King Yama's territory."

"I thought you said we wouldn't be baby-sitting?"

"Kairi is weak. The only way she can best her opponent is to kill them quickly, before they have the time to form a strategy. We will need to subdue King Yama's guards, and she is not well trained in that area."

"In other words, we gotta knock 'em out, and she doesn't pack enough punch to do it."

"Basically."

Kairi rolled her eyes. There wasn't much she could say to the boys. She wasn't good with knock-down-drag-outs. She only knew one way to win. Kill. Plain and simple.

"There is another thing, while we're waiting," Kurama continued. "We won't actually be looking for the fruit. I explained your situation to Suzuka. I'll spare you the detailed analysis that he gave me about how the fruit works, but, since you've been though so many bodies, he fears that the fruit might not be strong enough to return you to your demon form. He told me that the sap of the tree is rumored to be as much as 10 times more potent than the potion he gave me, though he didn't perform enough tests to be certain."

"Not certain? So I'm gonna be a lab-rat."

"Not the term I was going to use..."

"But it fits."

"Well, if you choose to look at it that way, I suppose I can't provide an argument supporting otherwise. In any case, he told me to retrieve as much as I could and return it to him. He can do research on it there, if the sap doesn't work well enough in its original state."

"Original state?"

"I had a feeling that you wouldn't want to wait until we got back to try it out. Patience is my strength, not yours." Kurama gave Kuronue a little grin.

"True..."

The blue light had been flashing at a quickening pace. It now looked like a strobe light. It was only a few minutes until a large circle of blue swirling light became visible. The three stepped in, not knowing what was waiting for them on the other side...

* * *

**Sorry for how short this was. The next will be better, if FF,net even lets me get the damned thing posted!**


	14. Convicts

**If you've been keeping up with this one, you know what happened with that elusive little creature known as Chapter 13. Now, I originally thought that the site had a bug, and I reported it accordingly. But, I later found out, that it was just a really smart spirit fox who was tired of being tormented. Kurama hacked the system in a futile attempt to save himself from future abuse, but, thanks to the good folks in the tech department, he shall pay.**

**Kurama: O.O;**

**I also blame Kuronue. As I mentioned earlier, he has bad luck. Well, so does Kai. Now mix those two up, then add a dash of lucky number 13, and whaddya get? TROUBLE! But now that all is fixed (I hope), we shall ensue with the torture-fest, taking special care to rub all their faces in this later...  
**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!

* * *

**

The trio looked around. They had landed in a forest...

A _creepy _forest.

"Kurama, you know this place?" Kane asked.

"I'm not sure. I think it is called the Shanodin Forest. I've heard rumors of its existence, but I have never been here myself."

"Then how do you know this is it?"

"There is a strange presence here. I can't describe it, but it feels as though the vegetation has its own consciousness."

"You think the trees are watching us?"

"Well, that is one way to put it."

"Kurama," Kairi interrupted the two boys. "Just in case you forgot, I did major in psychology. If you need to talk..."

"The tales I've heard say that the plants are inhabited by spirits. The forest lies on the borderlines between the Demon World and Spirit World. On occasion, unruly spirits are said to escape from their final judgment in the castle. There are places, like this one, where chosen spirits set up barriers, to keep them from reentering the world of the living."

"I heard that legend once." Kuronue scanned his surroundings. "I hate to sound crazy, well, _crazier_, but I think he's right. I don't feel a person around, but it still feels like we're being watched."

Kairi said nothing, but she, too, felt a presence. There was definitely something around, even if they couldn't see it. Then, she noticed something else wrong.

"Kurama, these plants..."

"I know," he said. He had obviously been thinking the same thing.

"Well, let's just _pretend_ that there's someone here who doesn't know what's wrong with the pretty flowers," Kane said to his friends. They knew something he didn't and it was _so_ annoying to be left out.

"The pretty flowers are a little _too_ pretty," Kairi said, suspicion evident in her tone.

Kurama was inspecting the flowers and weeds on the forest floor. They were perfect. Every last one of them. Even someone so talented with plants as he was, could not keep them all in this shape. Plants live for a while, then wither away. Even the most perfect garden had at least one petal that had been a snack for an insect. There was no evidence of them ever being disturbed. That wasn't because there were no insects, Kurama could hear them all around. What was wrong with this place?

"You two are freakin' out because the flowers are growin' good?"

"Look around, Kuronue. Do you see a single imperfection? A wilted petal? A brown spec on a leaf? It isn't that we don't like how the flowers are growing. The problem is that this is abnormal, thus, there is something, or someone, who must be responsible," the fox replied.

Just then, a sound caught their attention.

"What's so funny?" an agitated bat asked the siren. Why was she giggling?

"That wasn't me," Kairi responded. Her eyes were narrowed, and directed at the branches overhead. There was the sound again. The sound of a young girl giggling, but this time, both boys were looking straight at the only girl in the group, and she clearly wasn't the one this sound was emanating from.

They let their eyes pour over the canopy of leaves and branches, taking notice of every twig, limb, leaf, and stem, but there was no sign of anyone. There was no energy to indicate a presence either. But they were _hearing_ it!

Kairi curled her hands, and with a blink of red light, a dagger appeared in each. Kuronue followed her lead, and in a similar fashion, produced his scythes. Kurama withdrew a rose from his hair. They were all standing at the ready.

Just then, the faint giggling turned to a gasp, as if the "girl" had been frightened. The branches shook, causing the leaves to rustle. It was like a squirrel or raccoon had bounced through them, but still, there was nothing. The crew would've put more thought into this, but there was the sound of footsteps approaching.

Kurama nodded to Kairi, and she reached for the tiny bag that was clipped to her belt with a key chain. It looked like a change purse, but it instantly turned into a full-sized backpack. She pulled out a strange stone, held it tight, and in a second, she had changed clothes. She was now wearing a black, vinyl cat-suit, with a leather corset on top of it. The boots hadn't changed. She returned the stone and bag to their places. The footsteps weren't far off now.

A group of men, all wearing similar orange jumpsuits stepped into the clearing.

"Hey, looks like we got trouble boys," one of them said.

"Yeah. Sorry kids, but we can't have anybody tellin' the prison guards they seen us!" a second growled. They were huge, all of them, and they all brandished long claws, and they weren't lacking in the teeth department...

"Escaped convicts?" Kurama asked. "Well, how very unfortunate for you. You've escaped a life in prison, only to find your death."

"Death? Who's gonna kill us? You? I'm shakin', sugar-plum!" another laughed.

"Yeah, what're ya gonna do? Ask Mongo on a date?" a fourth asked, looking over his shoulder to a troll-like creature, who was carrying a spiked club that was bigger than Kurama and Kane combined. The troll had to be at least 14 feet tall, and, with that protruding gut, he probably wasn't far from being just as wide...

"Not so confident now, are you, Rosy?" one of the men asked the fox, who was still holding his rose.

"You know what they say," Kane cut in. "The bigger they are, the harder they avoid work. Kurama, you about done listening to these wannabe convicts?

"WANNABE? DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?"

"No. And I don't care. Besides, I think you should be more concerned with who we are."

"Kuronue, I'm ready when you are."

"In that case, let's kill 'em."

The boys tore loose. Kurama unleashed his rose whip, slicing and dicing anyone stupid enough to get within range. Kuronue held his scythes by the chain, and started using a strategy not all that different from Kurama's. Quite a few of the offended fugitives crowded in around him, since he had been the big mouth to call them wannabes. He flashed a smile evil enough to make Satan, and a dozen corporate lawyers, high-tail it outta there. He started swinging his scythes faster and faster. Though he wasn't as agile as he had been in demon form, he was better than these poor guys. His attacks turned him into a whirling dervish, cutting, gutting, shredding, and dismembering anything close. He wasn't even having to work for it!

Through his boredom, he glanced over to see how the baby-sitting assignment was holding up. His eyes nearly popped out. Not only was she holding her own, she looked to be doing quite well. She wasn't pushing out a ton of energy, nor did she have any fancy special attacks, but in terms of physical ability, she could probably handle Jackie Chan. And she was ruthless. He noticed those daggers heading straight for vitals, mostly throats. She sank them deep into her victims, then twisted, and yanked. If they didn't hit something major on the way in, they would rip it on the way out.

Kurama was having a bit of sport out of all this. He weaved gracefully between his enemies, forcing them to hit each other in an attempt to land a blow on him. On occasion, he'd attack one with his whip, killing them when they were too injured to offer any more fun.

Kane noticed something moving. Mongo. He was tired of all this, and with a low growl, he started to move in toward the girl fighting in a pool of his fallen team's blood.

"Sorry, Tubby. Can't letcha do that!" Just as Kane started to take a swing at the troll, it swung its mighty club at him. He missed the spikes, but the impact sent him into a nearly tree, winded. He gasped to recover his breath, and raised his eyes to the troll. It was almost to Kairi. Seeing that they couldn't win this fight the old fashioned way, the convicts had come up with a new plan. They had Kurama cornered. They couldn't do much damage to him, but they were avoiding the whip well enough to stall him. The rest had crowded around Kairi, knowing she was the weakest, and the easiest target. She was agile, but she couldn't dodge them all like this. Kane watched as the troll lifted its club again.

He forced himself up, feeling a broken rib as he did, but he ignored it. With a yell, half of pain, the other part desperation, he flung a scythe into the troll's arm. As it howled, Kane rushed in. He stood toe-to-toe with it, and when it raised its club again, he leaped up, leaving the curved end of his scythe in its neck. When he landed, he simply tugged on the chain.

Game over.

Kurama had finished off the punks that had surrounded him, and with all the confusion caused by Mongo and Kuronue, Kairi had been able to slaughter those around her while they were distracted.

Kurama let his whip take the form of a rose, then returned it to his hair. He looked over to his team, just in time to see Kane hitting his knees beside the troll. In a swift move, he was there, his hand on Kane's shoulder, looking him over to see what wounds ailed him.

On the other side, Kairi hit her knees, and started checking over Kane much the way Kurama was.

"It's just a broken rib. Nothing I can't handle," he said to them both. He hated others worrying about him. If it wasn't a mortal injury, it wasn't bad enough to need assistance.

"I got it," Kairi said to the fox. He gave her a nod of approval, then sat down to catch his breath.

"You've got what?" Kuronue asked, looking her over suspiciously. Her hands began to glow a bluish-green, and she placed them over his rib cage. The pain started to ease almost instantly. She was putting out more power now than he knew she was capable of. "Where the hell did that come from?" he asked her, wide-eyed.

"I'm no good with attacks, but my healing is another story."

"Where did you learn that?" Healing powers were old news to the bat. He'd had some himself in his old body, but whatever she was doing far surpassed any he had encountered.

"Mama was born with strong healing powers, and they only got stronger as she grew. They said she was a freak of nature. Guess that would make me one, too..."

"Hereditary?" That would explain it. He didn't think anyone could heal a broken bone so effortlessly, no matter how much training they'd done. Fractures maybe, but not mending a clean break.

"By the way, thanks," Kairi said softly. She truly hadn't known he had it in him.

Kane didn't respond. Just a simple nod.

Then, just as Kairi finished up with that rib, as good as it was going to get anyway, they heard it again.

A giggling girl in the treetops...

* * *

**Now what is that noise they keep hearing? Lemme put it his way, Kurama is NOT going to like it. MUHUHUHAHA But the rest of the team should enjoy. Till then, whatcha think?**


	15. The Chia Pet

**Hiya! And thanks for the reviews! This story just passed 100! I was in shock for lil while after I saw that! **

**For this chappie, the only thing I can say is no. this is not the creature I was talking about earlier. He comes in later... As far as what these two are talking about in the first couple paragraphs, I can't tell ya. But if you know, you'll probably laugh your ass off... and you should probably seek professional help...**

**I own nothing. Enjoy! **

* * *

The crew trudged on through the forest. Much to their dismay, and _discomfort_, the giggling seemed to be traveling alongside of them. It wasn't_ always_ audible, but every once in a while, they heard it. Whatever it was, it wasn't making an effort to attack, so they kept their eyes open, and tried to continue. The faster they got out of here, the faster they could forget about it. 

Kane and Kairi had become engaged in a conversation about their "occupations," comparing stories of jobs they'd done, and chaos they'd been responsible for. Kurama was more concerned with what could be hiding out here, although hearing the talk they were having was making him feel a lot better. His old partner was skilled in every manner of mischief, and so was their tag-along. They had already gone over the creation of several types of killing devices, including nail grenades and home-made plastic explosives, the secrets of lock picking, making napalm, blocking phone taps with the correct electrical charge, and two varieties of molitov cocktails. He was glad these two were on _his_ side...

"...hot does yours burn?" Kane asked. They were comparing notes about one more of their little tricks.

"Usually I can get a mix to burn in excess of 5,300 or 5,400 degrees Fahrenheit. You?"

"Never tried to get it that hot. I stopped at hot enough to melt through the cash boxes on pay phones. And the hood of a few rich kids' cars.."

"The hood, the block, the axle, and the _pavement_, you mean."

"Yup." Kane laughed. Maybe she wasn't so bad. She was _still _a bitch, but maybe she was _tolerable_. "Maybe you _do _know a little about outlaws."

"Puh_-lease_. _Murphy's_ Law is about the only one I_ haven't_ broken."

In the middle of their discussion, they heard the bushes rustling. Out popped another demon fugitive. There was a little skirmish, but it didn't last long. Kurama handled him with his whip. He didn't noticed the chip his weapon left in the bark of a tree behind the recently deceased demon.

"So Jr. had a decent sized jail-break?" Kane asked Kurama.

"It would appear so."

"Did you guys hear that?" Kairi asked. Her eyes were once again on the branches above, but now, it had grown dark, and there was no way to see past the lowest of them.

"You're paranoid," Kane said disinterestedly.

"Paranoia's kept me _alive_ this long," she said back, more than a little annoyed. Since both boys were in human form at the moment, her siren ears were the best in the group. But it wasn't long until the noise got louder. The boys could clearly hear someone sobbing. It sounded like the same voice that had been giggling at them earlier. Upon seeing their eyes widen, Kairi folded her arms and spoke to Kane. "Still think I'm paranoid?"

"Shut up."

"Look!" Kurama said, cutting the argument short. The bushes on the other side of them were starting to rustle. Something was coming at them. They drew their weapons, and waited to see what this one was, temporarily ignoring the weeping girl in the trees. They each had mental images of a hostile demon escapee in their minds, and they prepared to face something brutal. But, all of their mental coaching could not _begin_ to prepare them for the creature that came out...

A tiny, walking bush...

They stopped and stared. Both boys just blinked, and Kairi merely raised an eyebrow. This little thing only stood about 20 inches high, and what it was standing _on_! Two webbed feet, almost like a duck's, but they were made of wood. It's body was like a little round ball, covered in vines. It kind of reminded Kane of Cousin It from the **_Addams_** **_Family_**, except that it had two big eyes peeking out. It reminded Kairi of one of the McDonald's Fry Kids. Kurama didn't know _what_ to think of it. He hadn't seen anything like it before. Not except that time, when his step-cousins forced him to watch the **_Powerpuff_** **_Girls_**, and the Professor made the "perfect pet."

The little "thing" started to walk to them, though, after a few steps, it started wobbling, lost its balance, and ended up heading about 3 feet to the side, hopping on a single webbed foot to keep from topping over. It sounded a lot like Cousin It, too. It made little squeaking sounds that resembled a "whoa," then it chirped happily when it regained its balance. All three of the team stared, dumbfounded, at this thing.

It shook its head, well, its entire body_ was_ its head, but it shook off the dizziness, and resumed walking to the demons. It stopped in front of Kurama, who was currently the closest to it, and looked up at him with big, cute eyes, that seemed to say "Hi." He didn't know what this thing wanted from him, but he wasn't in the mood for finding a new pet... It cooed at him, then gave an excited chirp.

...Then it flung him into a tree 20 feet away...

"What the-?" Kane exclaimed through disbelief.

"Heads up!" Kairi shouted, just as two vines, similar to the one that had threw the fox, shot out of the little creature.

They both dodged, just in time to see something _else_ going wrong. There were vines snaking their way around all the trees surrounding them, making a net to keep them from running.

"I think he wants us to stay and play," Kairi said.

"Wasn't any danger in me leaving," Kane said, dodging another vine. "As far as fights go, I've _walked_ away, _limped_ away, and _crawled_ away, but I've never_ ran_ away."

Kairi gave a smirk, indicating she shared the opinion, then dodged another lashing vine. The thing kept throwing them faster, and it was sending out more each time. It had started out as only 1 with Kurama, then 2, to hit both standing demons, but now, it was starting to cover half the "arena" with every assault.

Kurama had finally rejoined the crew, and had summoned his whip, hoping to do some damage. Kairi sent the first attack, her dagger flying straight for the space between those big eyes, but the creature picked it out of the air with another vine, and stared at it. It tilted its head to one side, and they heard an "ooooooh" sound. Kuronue launched a scythe while it was still amazed with its new_ toy_, but it was intercepted the same way. The thing looked back and forth between the weapons, chirping to itself. When it was finished looking the toys over, he returned them to their owners; very fast, through the air, and pointed at their heads...

Kane easily sidestepped the scythe, then caught it as it sailed by. Kairi's dagger disappeared right before it hit her, reappearing in her hand.

Kurama lashed out with his whip. It hit the creature, but instead of hurting it, the thing just made a laughing sound. _Tickling_ it is not quite what the fox had in mind. He swung again, and hit the thing, but this time it wrapped a vine around the end of his whip. Instead of trying to free the weapon, he took advantage of this. He pulled on his whip at an angle, sending the creature, who was still hanging on, into the air.

Its reaction?

"Wheeeeeeeeee!" As it delighted in its flying lesson, it sent vines down the length of the whip, and wrapped them around Kurama's wrist. As soon as it hit the ground, _Kurama_ took flight. Once again, he hit a tree, this time with enough warning to turn in the air, and position a hand to cushion the blow. The hand helped, but there was still a good impact.

"That's _gotta _be gettin' old," Kane mumbled. "Alright, shorty, you wanna play rough? Fine."

The creature cocked its head to the side, looking like it was slightly confused. Then, Kane used him for a kickball, sending him into the air with another "Wheeee!" When it landed, Kane took flight, due to the vine he hadn't noticed coiling around his ankle. After impact, he sat up and rubbed his head, muttering a few choice words.

The thing let out a happy squeak, that sounded a lot like "Pika!"

"Pika?" Kairi repeated.

"Greeeeeat," droned a sarcastic bat. "Satan's Pokemon... This thing's dead!" Kane charged, confident that this thing was about to meet its maker...

**45 minutes later...**

Kuronue dodged another vine, and dived upward into the branches of a tree, trying to catch a breather. Kurama relinquished his whip and followed suit. Kairi took her cue from the boys, and ran to the tree. She couldn't jump as good as they could, and Kurama knew. A demon vine shot out of his sleeve, wrapped around her wrist, and pulled her up, landing her safely on a branch just below him.

"Any ideas?" Kane asked the other two from his perch across from Kurama. They were all bruised and cut, and as bad as they were hurting _now_, they didn't want to know what it was going to be like in the morning...

"I'm afraid not," the fox answered, looking down at the creature, who was now playfully bouncing and rolling around below them. It seemed it was easily amused...

"Three. Criminal. Masterminds. And nobody knows how to kill a _CHIA PET_?" Kane complained. This was getting _veeeery_ annoying.

"Oh no," Kurama said, in a rather dull voice.

"What's 'oh no'?" Kane asked, but about that time, he got his answer. The branches _moved_! They dumped the team back onto the ground, with the hyper-active, Hell-spawned, Chia Pet...

They were vine-dodging and cursing all over again...

The creature was growing bored with this game, though. Instead of slapping or flinging them with his vines, he wrapped them up in them. He was squeezing them like a python.

"Kai," Kane rasped out. "You're supposed to have some kind of song, right? Can't you sing him to _sleep_ or _SOMETHING_?"

"And what do you think he _prefers_?" she asked through clenched teeth, starting to feel that her bones weren't going to last much longer. "Twinkle Little Star or Hush Lil' Baby?"

"Not..the...time...," Kurama gasped. Kane was built better than him, and Kari's corset was only a cover for the armor under it. Kurama had nothing to shield him, and the creature, seeming to know he was the strongest, had wrapped extra vines around him.

"You don't have to get smart-assed with me!" Kane snapped at Kairi, ignoring the fox. "You're the damned _siren_."

"What?" a girl asked, but it wasn't Kairi's voice...

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**Another cliff. You're starting to hate me, huh? Well, the faster the reviews roll in, the faster I write LOL. Next chappie: Kurama is going to find out that there is something far worse than a fangirl. And when I say Kurama, I don't mean _Kurama_. I mean _Yoko_ Kurama. Betcha were waiting for him to show up! And, within the next few, I'll be getting back to the drama, and giving Kuronue a little more depth. If I can't make you feel some of what he's feeling, or at least a little sympathy, then I've failed as an author. So get ready for it!**


	16. Sly Old Fox

**Hi! And as always, thanks for the reviews! I still can't believe I got this many while I was updating daily!**

**In true YYH tradition, we're going to delve into the world of myth. One thing I need to make clear; most of you already know, but some people mistake Inari for the Japanese word for God. Inari is _A_ God, not _THE_ God. He was reputed to use foxes as messengers. As far as everything else, it's all Greek. As far as any mistakes, don't bother. There's a million different tales that surround each myth, so there's no such thing as entirely accurate. Anyway, here we go.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!

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"Did you say you were a siren?" the voice asked.

"Yeah," Kai forced out. They still couldn't see who was talking to them.

"Bitsie, drop 'em," the girl ordered. They felt the holds loosening, allowing sweet, glorious air to rush back into their lungs. They hardly noticed themselves hitting the ground. They all had blurred vision from being deprived of oxygen, and then getting a sudden burst of it, but as it cleared, they saw something green walking to them.

They _thought_ they were seeing_ lights_ because of their ordeal, but after everything was 20/20, they saw that there were unusually large fireflies all around. They cast a dim glow around the area, and, in the center of that area, stood the "girl" who had been watching them.

"I don't believe it! I never thought I'd see another _siren_! It's been so _long_ since one came to visit! I heard they'd all holed up on that island! What's the name again? Sirenum Scopuli? Oh, well, _anyway_, what brings ya here? Phorcys and Ceto need something? Or did Ladon use another poisonous tree for a tooth-pick? Cause I'm not gonna keep making salves for that dragon if he won't even _try _to watch what he eats! Last time he did that I told Ceto, I said-"

"Whoa! _Slow_ down!" Kane ordered with a wave, rubbing his aching head with the other hand. "Who _are_ you?"

"I'm Miki," the girl said. Now that they could see her clearly, she was _not _what they were expecting. She was... green! Her entire body! Her hair was made of, well, long blades of grass, or at least that's what they looked like, and it fell all the way to the ground. About mid-way down her back, there was a circlet of flowers holding it together in a ponytail. Her clothes looked to be nothing more than a bunch of leaves, all of different shapes and sizes. There was something of a halter top deal, tied with vines, and a tiny skirt made of some other kind of leaves. She had pointy ears, a lot like Kuronue's had been in his demon form, and big, green eyes. She was pretty short, about 5'1, maybe, and so thin that a nice breeze could probably pack her away. The boys just looked at her. What the hell was she?

"Wait," Kairi said, having finally managed to catch her breath. "You're a _dryad_, aren't you?" All that talk about the Sea Gods and Ladon had told her all she needed to know.

"Yep!" The girl added a tee-hee-hee kind of laugh to this statement. To the demon boys, that laugh had the same effect as a cat sharpening its claws on a chalkboard, causing both to flinch. Kane was getting the same vibe from this chick as he got from Barney and the Teletubbies, back when his kindergarten teacher had let/forced the class to watch them.

"I really _did _die...," Kane muttered. "Somehow, I thought it would be hotter here..."

"A dryad?" Kurama asked, either not hearing, or ignoring, Kane's mumbling. "I never thought I would actually meet one!"

Miki giggled again, making Kane cringe.

"Then why did you attack us?" Kairi asked. "I thought dryads were peaceful."

"We are, but that meanie over there hit me!" she said, pointing to Kurama.

"_Hit _you?" Kane said, now rising to his feet. "We couldn't even _see_ you!"

"Oh yeah? Take a look at this!" Miki raised one of the leaves on her "shirt," revealing a long, dark green cut. She had apparently been healing it already, making it look like more of a deep scratch, but they could tell it had been bad enough to bleed.

Kane and Kairi turned to look at Kurama, who abruptly stopped dusting himself off. He looked genuinely confused by her accusation. "Ma'am, I apoligize if there has been a misunderstanding, but I did not attack you."

"Yes you did! With that big, nasty, whip-thingy!"

"When?" Kurama asked.

"Just a little while ago! That's why Bitsie came out. He's my pet. He was just trying to protect me!" She knelt down and patted "Bitsie" on the head, and it made a happy cooing sound.

"What Green Peace wouldn't give for one of those... Maybe you should've tried The Itsy Bitsy Spider," Kane said, leaning close to Kairi's ear.

"Ma'am, I didn't hit you."

"Yes you did!"

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

Bitsie's eyes bounced back and forth between the two, as they argued. It sounded a lot like something you would hear on a playground. Kane folded his arms and said nothing. He was enjoying the show. There was something entertaining about seeing the King of Thieves, and most talented plant manipulator he knew, arguing with a barely-clad vegetable...

Kairi was thinking. She'd heard legends of the dryads from the other sirens. Then, it hit her! "Wait, when you say he hit 'you,' you mean that he hit your _tree_, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," the girl nodded.

"What?" Kane asked, confusion causing his voice to go up an octave.

"Dryads are nymphs that inhabit trees. When their _tree_ dies, _they_ die. I guess its the same thing with a tree getting hurt."

"Right!" Miki exclaimed, and threw her arms around Kairi for a big, sisterly hug. Needless to say, the mercenary was not especially comfortable with this...

"Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Kurama asked Miki, ignoring the way Kane was snickering at the expression on Kairi's face.

The girl released Kairi and replied, "You didn't ask."

This sent Kane into an all out laughter fit. _'Bout damned time the fox got a dose of his own medicine!'_ The fox glared at Kane, already thinking about how to get even later...

"Well, not that I'm complaining," Kairi said. "But why did you call him off?"

"Sirens are sea nymphs. I couldn't let him kill you! We're like sisters!"

Kairi did not consider this _thing_ like a sister, but if it meant that she would keep _Cujo_ off of them, she'd let her think that...

"And I knew you wouldn't be here without a reason. So what is it? Need a potion? Medicine maybe? Or were some of those seeds bad? I told Ceto I wasn't too sure about those..."

"Hold it, honey!" Kane said, raising his hand to the 'halt' position again. "How long have you been here?"

"Oh, not too long. Just a couple hundred millenniums."

The boys were dumbstruck for a second or two, but quickly recovered. Nothing could really surprise them much anymore. Besides, Spirit World had been around for a _loooooong_ time, and there were quite a few enchanted places that had been around just as long. It wasn't all _that_ farfetched...

"No wonder you're talking about Phorcys and Ceto...," Kairi muttered. "We were just passing through."

"Well surely you had _some _reason!" Miki looked back and forth between the three of them, then she gasped, or _squeaked_... "I know what you're here for! I knew you were no good the second I saw you!" she said to Kurama. "Did Inari send you here?"

"Inari? Why would I be delivering messages for Inari?"

"I knew it! Trying to hide what you are! Well that disguise isn't gonna fool me! Inari's messengers have played _too many_ tricks around here!"

"Ma'am, I have no clue what you are talking about."

"Oh yeah?" Miki pointed at Kurama, and he was surrounded by a green glow. Less than a second later, they were looking at _Yoko_!

"That might not have been such a good idea," Kane said. He knew that this chick wasn't all that bright, and Yoko's tolerance level was a lot lower than Suichi's.

"See? A FOX!" Miki said accusingly.

"You fool," Yoko said, obviously close to losing his temper; which meant Miki was _dangerously_ close to losing her life. "What have you done to me?"

"I got rid of that disguise!"

"That wasn't a _disguise_! That was the body I required to live in my new home!" he growled.

"Wouldn't happen to have another helping of that lyin' around, would ya?" Kane asked.

They tried to explain what they were doing here to begin with, but Miki wasn't listening. After a while, they learned that the effects of that spell would wear off in about 24 hours. Other than that, they were getting nowhere. They learned that the forest led to a bunch of dead ends, and without help from one of the dryads, they wouldn't be able to exit it. The paths shifted every so often, making it like a maze. If one of them could fly up and take a look, they could find their way out, with or without her approval, but Kairi's wings weren't strong enough for a take off down here. She always needed a huge updraft or a tall cliff to dive off of. _Kuronue_ on the other hand...

Yoko walked over to a small rock and sat, leaving Kairi to argue. He had figured out that there was no way this thing was going to help them... _willingly._ He put on his most annoyed expression, which Kane soon noticed. No matter _how_ annoyed Yoko was, he didn't show it; not unless heads were about to roll. He looked like he was sulking. Kane caught on, and went over to strike up a conversation with the fox.

"What's with you?"

"I hate being in this form! All that work to find a human body, and now look at me!"

This caught the dryad's attention. She stopped jabbering for a second to listen.

"Sorry, Yoko," Kane said, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. He had already figured this one out. _'Please don't throw me in the brier patch...'_

"Don't try to comfort me! How would you know what it's like to be forced back into a body you hate?"

"I guess I don't. Of all the things she could have done, she had to turn you back into a demon. She could have just killed you, it wouldn't have been half as cruel."

Kairi turned her poker face into an expression of pity. She knew what they were doing. Time to contribute. "Poor guy. They both worked so hard to get human forms..."

Miki almost bought it, then she remembered something. "Waitaminute! That one asked if I had a second helping! He _wanted_ me to turn him into a demon!" she said, pointing at Kane.

"Tricky little fellow, isn't he?" Kairi whispered to Miki. "He knew you'd never do it if you thought he _wanted_ you to."

"Oh?" Miki whispered back.

"Now," Kurama growled, "our whole plan is ruined! How we were planning to trick everyone into thinking we were just humans! We'll never do it now! Our dreams are shattered!"

"Well, I could still do it," Kane said. He was still watching the dryad out of the corner of his eye. "I bet I could rob 'em blind and kill 'em all. They'd never stand a chance!" He knew from their conversation with the dryad, that she was all about peace and love. She'd never let them hurt a _fly_ if she could help it...

"Oh, no you don't!" she cried. Once again, there was a finger pointed, and Kane was surrounded by the same green glow. When it faded, there stood a bat demon.

A rather _good-looking_ bat demon, as far as Kairi was concerned. But, damned if she was going to _admit_ to that...

The fox's pitiful expression quickly changed to a smirk. "Well, aren't _you_ looking better?"

The bat grinned wide, and mockingly brushed dust off his arm. "Not lookin' too shabby yourself." They both started to laugh. An _evil_ laugh.

Miki wasn't quite sure what just happened...

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**Next chappie? More trouble, naturally. For whom? I think everybody should suffer, don't you? And if anyone was wondering, Miki means beautiful tree. Till then, pweeeeease review? (Bitsie looks up with sad, pleading eyes...)**


	17. A Little Tied Up

**The first time I wrote this, I LOVED IT!...then the power died... The next 50 times I've re-written it, I've _hated_ it more and more. That's what took me so long posting. I can't get this one to flow right, and I can't remember how I did it the first time. You were warned, this is not the best chapter, but if I wait till I get it right, I'll _never_ get this story finished. It does move us forward so that I can get to the better ones. I think the prob was reading too many Stephen King books while the power was out. If I read another story, I get the mood for that one, and it distracts me from the mood I'm trying to achieve in my own. Anyone else ever do that? Just so I don't feel alone!  
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**Note: Youko is spelled Yoko in the EV, and I always use the EV.  
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**I own nothing. Enjoy!

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Miki stared at the chortling demons. Yoko and Kuronue could practically see the light bulb flick on over her head. "YOU TRICKED ME!" she shouted, stamping her foot and pooching out her bottom lip.

"_Now_ she gets it," Kuronue said. Kairi let her eyes wander back and forth between the boys and the short-tempered, and unfortunately_ naive_, dryad.

Yoko wasn't all that unfamiliar. She'd had a great many talks with Kurama, in which they were both prone to tell of their younger days. After all, he was the _only_ one who _knew_ about her younger days. Kuronue was a different story. Today was the first time she had ever met him. She could usually read a person inside-and-out in less than 10 minutes. Not this time. The boy before, Kane, had been putting out an Axl Rose-Brian Johnson kind of feeling. This prick was throwing off more of an Ozzy/Manson-ish kind of vibe.

One thing was certain. She was glad she had changed into her vinyl earlier. She could wipe blood off of this outfit with a wet paper towel. Convenient, since there was liable to be quite a bit _gushing_ in a few minutes...

"Why you- you- _you_-" Miki was having a little trouble coming up with an insult. It wasn't likely that she got much practice with using them around here. "You- _MEANIES_!"

"_That_ hurt," Kuronue said, rolling his cold eyes. "What should we do, Yoko?"

The fox just smiled. Albeit, a _malicious_ smile. Kairi could tell by the look in his eyes that his mind was contemplatively pacing the gamut between the slightly cruel and the hideously monstrous punishments which at first sight might be enough to make the inhabitants of purgatory thank God for the gentle fate bestowed upon them.

"I haven't made up my mind yet, Kuronue. What say we start slow, and see where it leads?"

"Sounds good," the bat replied.

"I'll just be over here," Kairi said, seeing the look on the demons, who were now approaching their next victim. She walked a few yards away, leaving the poor dryad to fend for herself.

"Where are you going?" Miki asked.

"I'm brave, not stupid," she replied. She was _not_ about to get in the boys' way. "I'm stayin' outta this one..."

The boys stalked over to the dryad, taking their time to get there. They were probably enjoying the fear written on her face. The smell no doubt added to their sadistic glee. In these forms, they could most likely smell it a mile away.

"Hey! Just what are you planning to do?" an anxious dryad asked.

"We don't know yet, but rest assured, it _won't_ be pleasant," the fox said.

Instead of fleeing, as both boys expected her to do, she held ground. She didn't look as scared as she did angry.

"She really _isn't_ all that bright, huh?" Kuronue muttered to Yoko.

"Apparently not."

When they got to her, Yoko reached for her shoulder, but before he could grab her, she disappeared "What?" both boys said.

"You aren't going to hurt _me_!" said a familiar testy voice. She was behind them! Before they could react, something happened. They were upside down! And there were vines wrapping all around them!

"What the-? How the hell did we get up here?" Kuronue asked Yoko.

"As soon as _I _figure it out, you'll be the first to know," replied a struggling and _furious_ fox. As mad as he was already, it was a good thing he _didn't _know how it happened. As smart as they both were, and as dumb as they _thought_ Miki was, they hadn't noticed the vine loops they'd stepped into. It was a trick right out of a Saturday morning cartoon, and they fell for it...

Miki was giggling, and that was _NOT _helping to calm the two boys. What made it even worse was that Kairi was just sitting on a rock, watching them fight the straight jacket of vines.

"HEY! Feel free to lend a hand _ANYTIME_, doll!"

"Why?" she asked, while producing a nail file from the "magic" backpack. "You didn't need my help gettin up there."

"WHAT?"

"Kairi," Yoko intervened, "I know he's an idiot" "WHAT?" "but don't hold that against _me_! I can't hang like this forever. My blood is going to start rushing to my head. _Have_ your fight with him, but do it _after_ you release me."

"You bastard!" the bat shouted. They were _all _turning on him!

Kairi sighed. "You're right." She knew that attacking the vines was useless. The bout with the _miniature terror_ proved that. Mama had always said, you catch more flies with honey. "Miki, I know they're egotistical, insecure, hostile, ill-tempered, muscle-bound, sadistic, frigid, maniacal, immoral, sociopathic, vengeful, greedy, self-centered, neanderthal assholes... well, _one_ of 'em is, but could we strike some kinda deal for you to let 'em go anyway?"

"Yoko, you remember that decision I was talking about earlier?"

"Yes."

"My mind's made up._ Murder_."

Miki regained her speaking ability and asked, "Why _should_ I?"

"Well," Kairi thought for a sec. She had quite a few plans in mind, but she chose her two faves. One to start with, and one more drastic to fall back on. "Yoko is one of my brother's best friends. He's really not that bad once you get to know him. He's just having a bad day."

"Not that _bad_?" the dryad said. "He lashed me with a whip! And I don't want to know what he was going to do just now!" She crossed her arms and put her nose, and her pooched-out lip, toward the sky.

"The whip was just an accident. You saw that man trying to attack us, didn't you?"

"No. What man? I just went to feed Bitsie and that nasty whip hit my tree."

"_Now_ she tells us," Yoko mumbled. The bat beside him was staring down Kairi like a pit bull in a cage would stare down a cat who'd just slapped it. WWIII was going to break out when he got down. Yoko knew exactly what was going through his mind. _'Please God, just let my fingers ease through here and get to her throat! Just one finger! Anything! Just let me at her!'_

"An escaped convict. He tried to kill us. Kurama hit him with that whip, that's when you got hit. It's a hard weapon to control completely, even as skilled as he is. I'm guessing the end of it went a little farther than he wanted, and it nicked you."

"Well, why didn't you just say so?"

"You didn't ask," the bat droned out, with as much sarcasm in his voice as he could muster.

"I'm still not convinced. He should have just _apologized!_ He was going to kill me! _Good_ people don't kill other people just to keep from saying they're sorry!"

"He's just a little proud. _All_ men suffer from testoterone-driven pride. It's like a medical condition they can't help," Kairi said, hoping to steer clear of the apology. If it was Suichi, no prob, but if it was up to Yoko to say the words, both of these boys might be wearing human Pampers again real soon.

"He's a jerk! And the other one's a _pig!_"

"WHAT?"

"HEY!" Kairi cut in. "Men are NOT pigs!"

"Thank you," Kuronue said.

"_Pigs_ are gentle, sensitive, and intelligent animals," she finished.

"HEY!" Kuronue shouted. If he could just get a liiiiiittle closer to that girl...

"I guess you're right," Miki agreed, sending yet more visions of brutal murders dancing through the bat's head.

"Look, Kurama really is a good guy, this whole thing just has him stressed, that's all."

"Hey," Kuronue said. "I notice we're only talking about the _fox_. There's a _bat_ hanging up here, too!"

"Kurama's _super_ intelligent, he's got a _great_ sense of humor," Kairi started, pointedly ignoring Kuronue. "He's great to talk to, he's always there when I've got a problem. He's actually pretty sensitive. He's a gentleman, always uses perfect manners..."

Kuronue was seething, and one look at Yoko's face made it worse. He was grinning like a bird-fed cat.

"And then there's his mom. He's always so respectful, the _perfect_ son. He even offered to lay down his _life_ for hers. And he takes care of his little stepbrother, and helps his step dad out at work, and he has another job at a flower shop."

"Flower shop?"

"Yep. He loves anything to do with plants."

"He _does_?"

"And he's always giving his mom these _beautiful_ flower arrangements. He's really a _sweetheart_."

Kurama was still smirking, and Kuronue had begun to grind his teeth...

"And you can't deny," she said, pulling Miki closer, _acting _like she was trying to keep the boys from hearing. "He _is_ drop-dead _gorgeous_."

Miki started to giggle. Kurama was enjoying the conversation, despite the monster headache he was getting. Kuronue was thinking that his female _pain_ in the_ ass_ _better_ defend him the same way...

"Alright, so maybe he isn't all _that_ bad, but what about_ him_?" Miki asked, pointing at Kuronue.

"Well, he's-... he's-..."

"Yeeeeessssss?" he asked, through clenched teeth.

"He's... He's Kurama's partner, and as smart as _Kurama_ is, I'm sure he wouldn't have picked him if there wasn't _something_ good about him."

"THAT'S THE _BEST _YOU CAN DO?"

"Oh, _alright_," Miki said, ignoring the bat. "But I can't let 'em down unless I _know_ they won't hurt me!"

"Would Kurama's word be good enough?"

"After what he was going to do? How can I trust him?"

"What if he gave _me_ his word? There's honor amongst thieves, and no member of the guild can break an oath to another member. We're _all_ members, so if they promise me they won't hurt you, you're safe."

"But if you release them from the oath they could!"

"We're both nymphs remember? Like _sisters_! You trust me, _don't_ you?"

"I suppose..."

Kairi walked to the boys. Both their faces were blood red. Kurama's, she guessed, from hanging like this so long. Kuronue was mad enough to chew nails and spit bullets. "You heard her boys. Give me your solemn word that you won't harm her. As soon as you get down, we're leaving here and not looking back."

Kurama reluctantly complied, in a hurry to get out of this place. He had no control over these plants whatsoever, and everything about that girl annoyed him. Kill her; don't kill her; WHO CARES? He just wanted to get that damned sap and go the hell home. Be all.

Kuronue wasn't as easy. "Come off it you fool. Just give your damned word so we can leave this accursed place!" Yoko growled. His anger had forced his tail to bush out to three times its usual size.

"That thing just insulted us both and you're going to let it go?"

"If I tend to the matter we could be here for a long time, and frankly, I'm tired of seeing this place! If it's that important, you can seek vengeance later!"

The argument continued, but it was clear that Miki wasn't the girl who should be worried. A certain siren had pressed quite a few buttons...

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**The next will be sooooo much better! We can finally start some of that battle of the sexes. And it will be funny! Much funnier than this! And they can funally leave the forest! YAY! Till then, REVIEW! But please, no flames. I've cussed at myself over this chapter enough. Trust me, the things I've said about it are far worse than anything you could.**


	18. Male Bonding

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews! I think long-time reviewer Kato Shingetsu is going to love this one, LOL. Again, it's not the best it could be, but I've got so much going on around here right now, it's hard to concentrate. Anyway, I didn't put the lyrics to the songs on here. If you want to know them, you can do a search for "lyrics song title" and find them that way. Mostly this was to save the reader the time of going over the lyrics. Now that Kane/Kuronue's character has a personality, there isn't much use for them. The other reason, is that one of these songs, I had plans on putting in all along, I just didn't want the rating to go up LOL. That's the one I'd say Kato will love (Closer) If you know this song, you know why the lyrics aren't there...**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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As soon as the bat hit the ground, his hand shot for Kairi's throat. Yoko caught his wrist right before his outstretched fingers could wrap around it. 

"Why are stopping me?" he growled.

"Forgetting something? One member of the guild can't kill another unless it is a matter of self defense."

Kuronue's angry expression turned to a mask of innocent confusion. "_I _didn't see her crest, did _you?_"

"Besides, her brother is one of the few I hold in high regard, and I gave my word that I would return her."

_'Return?' _Kairi thought. _'What the hell am I? A power drill?'_

Kuronue clenched his teeth again. That was becoming habit nowadays. "Couldn't we just buy him a _dog_? A small, _yapping_, _female _dog," he said, shooting a glare at the girl through it all.

"You know," Kairi said, "I think that's the most articulate approach anyone's ever taken to calling me a bitch..."

"Don't forget Kuro, she IS here to help you attain that which you seek."

"No, she's here because YOU asked, remember?"

Yoko smirked. "Why, Kuronue, is that a hint of jealousy I hear in your voice?"

"Why the hell would I be _jealous_?" He tried to act surprised by the accusation, and he_ was_ a little, but when he started to think about it, _'DAMN IT! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED!' _he soon realized.

Yoko let out a small, almost inaudible chuckle. Kairi just smirked. Kuronue shoved past both of them and started walking. He was determined to get out of here and get this over with. He wanted to be home; away from HER! Yoko was just teasing, but this bitch was starting to get _reeeally _bothersome.

"Bitsie, show them the way out," Miki said, trying to get them out of here before their patience wore any thinner. Bitsie stood up straight and let out an "aye-aye!" like chirp and hopped in front of the crew, eventually leading them to the exit.

After nearly an hour of following the staggering, chirpy Chia-pet, they were at last out of the forest. Yoko knew this part of Spirit World. He directed the team to a 'short-cut' he knew of.

"Through a WHAT?" Kuronue asked.

"A volcanic valley," the fox replied in a tone that sounded more fit for referring to a daisy-filled meadow.

"You want to walk through a volcano? Did you hang upside down a little too long?"

"We've been through worse, Kuro. Or have your years with the humans made you as _timid _as one?" he asked, smiling tauntingly.

"Me? Hell no! Lead the way."

"You never could resist a challenge, could you?"

"Challenge? Walking through a valley filled with lava-pits and fire-imps? Where's the challenge in that? I've probably been through bar-fights worse than this place'll be."

"We'll see. Are you ready?" Yoko asked Kairi, who never looked away from her nail file.

"Trails fraught with danger?"

"Yes."

"Heartless fire-imps whose only goals are death and destruction?"

"Yes."

"Giant craters filled with lava hot enough to melt flesh off the bone and-or leave a cauterized crater in your body if a single drop lands on you?"

"Yes, and the imps will likely fling gallons at us."

"What are we waiting for?" she asked with a strong dose of perkiness, bouncing up from the rock she'd been sitting on.

"We'll get there much faster if we're airborne," Yoko said, walking toward the ledge of the cliff they were standing on. It wasn't too high, just about five stories, but it was high enough for Kairi to get a boost and to get some air under his "glider" leaves.

"Whatever you say," Kuronue said. He still wasn't in the best of moods.

He stretched his wings one at a time, then stretched them both as far as they would go. They still felt foreign to him. It had been so long; he hoped he could still do this.

He dived off and filled them both with wind, the next thing he knew, he was soaring like he'd just done it yesterday. He looked back to the cliff to see Yoko diving off and a bunch of leaves shoot up from his back. He swooped down to him, and grabbed one of the vines that hung from the leaves, then he towed Yoko higher. That was the old routine. After all this time, all their tag-team tricks were still like reflex.

Next off was Kai. He saw her dive, and she was falling fast. Just when he thought he was going to have to stop her from becoming a greasy spot on the rocks, two blue, feathery wings shot out of seemingly nowhere, materializing on her back. Now _that_ was weird...

She flew up alongside him, just as he released the vine. "What? Think you were the only one who had a set?" she asked. Obviously she'd caught that look of surprise a second ago.

**A couple hours later...**

They were glad to see the glow of the fires ahead. It was nearly morning, they were all tired, and two of them felt like their wings were going to fall off.

The temperature here was unbelievable, and they weren't even in the valley yet. Kuro did not like this. It was nothing he couldn't handle, but he _still_ didn't like it. Yoko didn't seem to mind. Apparently, he'd been here a few times before. Kairi was just thankful she was a hybrid. Water apparitions were hard to damage with fire. Her father's family, which she usually hated, was a race of demons that were _made_ to withstand flames; to _live_ in them, actually; even their attacks were fire oriented, though she couldn't fight like them. In either case, she was_ lucky_. If not for that, there was no way she could have kept the pace with these two, and she _knew_ it.

"We're still not within earshot of our foes," Yoko said. "Kairi, use your power now."

"I'm fine."

"That wasn't a request." This got an eyebrow to raise. "You're weak and tired from the journey. You will likely slow us, as it is. Use your song to recover some of your strength. Kuro and I will not be shedding _our _blood for _your _pride," he said, showing not the slightest bit of emotion. She submitted, knowing he was right. She didn't feel like singing, so she just stuck with the auto-pilot way. A technique sirens called externalization. They thought of a song, it played, and the music served as an energy generator.

She looked at the place they were going, then grinned. "This one seems appropriate." She closed her eyes, and the next thing they knew, they were hearing _**Highway to ****Hell**_. Kuro didn't know how she was doing that, but he wasn't complaining.

"What the hell was that?" he asked. She explained the mechanics to him quickly. "Energy, love spell, healing, what else does that song do?"

"Works pretty good for mind reading," she answered.

"Come again?"

"Mind reading. You don't literally read the target's mind, but you can concentrate on them, and get a song that sounds the most like what they're thinking or feeling."

"You _are_ a freak, aren't you?"

"I did it to you about 20 minutes after you met me."

"I didn't hear it. Trust me, I woulda noticed a girl who sounded like she stuffed her bra with speakers."

"I don't have to play it out loud unless I don't know the words that well."

"So what song did you get?"

She grinned, and let him hear it. Immediately, he understood why she'd been suspicious about him from the start. **_Closer_** by **_Nine Inch Nails_**. He didn't turn red with embarrassment, like most would have. His expression _did _tell what he was thinking, though. _'Busted...'_

"Don't you hate it when they figure you out so soon?" Yoko teased him. If they were like brothers, it was clear that Yoko was the elder sibling.

"Shaddap. Or do you want me talkin' about that stripper from Amari Village?"

Yoko shot him a glare, but it wasn't a cold glare. Just a signal that he was asking for his ass to be kicked. "Well, the stripper didn't turn _me_ down flat," he said with a look full of mischief. Kairi knew, from living in a house full of men who acted like brothers, where this was going. There was about to be a throw-down.

Kuro wanted just a few more seconds to catch his breath. Yoko got to _glide _that whole trip, he had to _flap_, and on occasion, haul the fox's furry ass back into higher altitudes. Yoko would beat him like he stole something if he fought him right this instant.

"So what else did you get out of reading me?" he asked Kairi, hoping to buy time. Yoko knew what he was doing, but he'd let him get away with it... so he could rub his nose in it after he won.

"Rob Zombie, Dragula."

Kuro laughed. "My life history! I think they wrote that one for me!" She played it. It got her stronger, and put him in a good mood. Little did she know, he was just gearing up for a scuffle with the fox.

As soon as the song ended, they were back at it; insult here; taunt there. They were looking for an excuse. Finally, after they'd ran through every sore spot they each knew the other had, out came the whip and the scythes.

They were going too fast for Kai to see, and it was basically like that until the end. The end was, of course, when they both hit their asses laughing. She would never understand "male bonding"...

When that was all done, the boys took the lead, walking to the valley, with the girl at least five feet behind. When the trouble started, they knew they would have to take the front, letting her deal with whatever slipped past them.

Kuro couldn't wait. This would be the first time he and Yoko had got to fight together in twelve full centuries. May _God _have _mercy_ on whoever got in front of them; _they _didn't know the meaning of the word...

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** The valley isn't going to take half as long as the forest. I may have them in the garden chapter 20. I know, I'm long winded. I just like conflict. If there was no conflict., there would be no story... Anyway, till then REVIEW! PWETTY PWEASE?**


	19. Big Trouble

**Thanks for the reviews! Again, it didn't turn out _exactly_ like I wanted, but it's better than the last two I think. I'm also trying to do lengthier chapters now. I put the lyrics to one song in this one, but they aren't _all_ there. Just enough to get the point, so don't be surprised if they look hacked up.**

**PS: This fic has a prequel now. _I Love Being a Bad Guy_ is the name. Remember back in chapter 8 when I mentioned the bounty hunters hitting everything _but_ the bandits? Well, it's the full story about that little incident.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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As soon as they set foot into the valley they were attacked. Lava-flinging fire-imps were coming from all sides. Yoko started twisting and turning in mid-air, avoiding every drop thrown at him, and cheerfully lashing his whip, slicing anything that moved. 

Kuronue was doing about the same with his scythes. He sent them flying into the imps, summoning them back to his hand as soon as they killed something. There were other varieties of fire demons mixed in with the imps, but neither bat nor fox gave a damn. If it wasn't one of them, it was on the hit list.

Kairi ducked and dodged, flipping and turning every which way to avoid the lava. She wasn't doing half as much damage as the boys, but she was at least preserving her own hide so that they didn't have to.

"Having fun?" Yoko asked Kuronue.

"Naturally. Just like old times!" he laughed.

"Without the rewards on our heads," Yoko replied.

"Yeah, I do kinda miss that part. They worked a lot harder when they thought of us as a payday."

They were enjoying themselves; so much so, that they didn't notice the ground trembling. It didn't take them long to see what was _making_ it tremble, though. A _giant_ fire apparition, at least 25 feet tall, was heading their way. The imps ran back to hide behind the rocks. Yoko didn't think they were scared by the giant coming. He thought it more likely that they aimed to attack after that thing had them too busy to defend.

The giant laughed and pounded the ground. It felt like an earthquake. The earth beneath them split, and lava started shooting up from the crevices in the ground. The boys bounced out of the way just in time to avoid being boiled.

"I don't think this is a good thing, " Kuro said.

"Sharp as a tack, Kuronue," Yoko said.

"Nobody gets outta here alive!" the giant roared, pounding a new set of cracks into the ground.

"I think we should maybe kick his ass now!" Kuronue said, seeing that if this continued, the whole place would be a pool of lava.

"That's the smartest thing you've said today," Yoko responded.

The boys started swinging their weapons again, taking hunks of skin out of the giant, but not doing any major damage to it. They seemed to be _annoying_ it more than anything. Finally, Kuronue took a swipe to the left side of its face, and Yoko got the right with his whip. The weapons met in the middle, taking care of the giant. The problem came when they turned around. While they'd been worried about one giant, a dozen more had showed up. Not as big as the last, but big enough to cause trouble.

"If it can go wrong it will...," Kuronue mumbled.

"Yes, I believe you're right. Take a look," Yoko said, pointing in the direction that Kairi should have been. There was a large pool of lava - when it got there, the boys had no clue - but standing on a lone pillar in the middle, was Kairi.

Two of the giants stomped their huge feet, causing more of the ground to give way, making the pool around Kairi even _wider_.

Kuronue gritted his teeth and charged the giants between them and her, but he was knocked backwards through the air, hitting the ground with all the grace of a discarded rag doll. Yoko tried the same, and though he dodged the first couple swings, he ended his venture not too different from the way his partner's did.

"Heh heh," the giant laughed. "You two aren't so tough now. Too worried about your little girlfriend to fight?"

"Call her my _girlfriend_ one more time and your _guaranteed_ an ass-kicking!" Kuronue said.

"Well then, if you don't like her, we can get rid of her for ya," the giant said, stomping his foot again, only this time, it was in a rhythm. The boys saw what he was doing, but they were powerless to stop it. Bubbles rose from the pool, and a large, red nose poked out. The nose was then followed by a humongous red dragon, complete with pyrotechnics shooting from the mouth.

" That could be a problem," Kuronue said to Yoko, mouth hanging slightly agape.

"Really?" the fox growled.

They watched the beast take a dive at the girl, and she dropped to the ground – what little bit she had was no more than a 20 foot radius – and rolled out of its path just before it snagged her with its claws.

"She can't fight that!" Kuronue said.

"Let's go!" Yoko said, launching another assault on the giants, and ending up on the ground again, followed by Kuronue.

"This. Could. Take-a-while." The bat rubbed his head, feeling a stinging which signified a deep cut.

"Agreed."

"Aww. They're worried about the little girl," another giant laughed. "Don't worry. You'll be dead before you have to watch your tramp burn!" He charged, shaking more cracks into the ground with every step.

The boys leaped this way and that, avoiding the lava shooting out of the ground. This was going to require some effort...

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Yoko asked.

"Whether Touya wants a Poodle or a Pomeranian?"

"On my signal," Yoko said, not bothering to humor his friend's remark.

The giants' massive ears heard Yoko telling Kuronue about a signal, and they were waiting to see his hand move or something of the like. They would be fully prepared to defend as soon as that fox gave the attack order.

Kuronue summoned both scythes to his hands and Yoko gripped his whip tightly in his right. The giants came walking toward them, watching the fox's upper body closely for any sign of that "signal," and Yoko _knew_ it. When they got within close range, Yoko gave the signal; not with his hand, but with a quick swishing of his _tail_.

The boys charged. The giants were caught off guard, and the nearest one was turned into salami. They continued their charge at the others further back. The giants braced for the attack; the duo was headed _straight_ for them. All they would have to do is kick. But, at the last second, the boys split up and shot to the sides. Yoko lashed his whip, not at the enemies, but at _Kuronue_, and Kuronue tossed his scythes at the _fox_! Each caught and held the end of the other's weapon. Before the big men knew what was happening, they were close-lined – at about ankle's height – by the whip and the chains of the scythes.

They toppled forward, and the boys seized the opportunity. Yoko started slicing with his whip on one side of the body-pile, and Kuro mirrored him with his scythes on the other.

"I guess they've never heard of being 'outfoxed'," Yoko said with a sly grin.

"Shall we rescue the fair lady from the dragon now?"

"I suppose."

They started toward the lava pool, but Yoko was detained. The fire-imps were tired of waiting for a hot meal. Yoko turned around to face one of the creatures; one who could _definitely_ count on a slow death...

"Where do think _you're_ going?" the imp hissed, holding two hand-fulls of silver fur.

"No one; I repeat: _NO ONE_ grabs my _TAIL_!" the fox growled, lunging for the imp.

Kuronue grinned a bit as he took off for the pit. Yoko could handle _ten-thousand_ of those little nothings alone; especially considering one of them had managed to get him pissed. He had to get to the girl. There was no way she could hurt that dragon, but he didn't think it would have a problem hurting her...

The game didn't look like it had changed much in the pit. The dragon was swooping down, and the girl was either dodge-rolling or flipping to miss its claws. The same evasive action was being applied to the bursts of fire it was spraying at her. When the dragon was through with its assault, it was heading back down into the lava, moving underneath and then emerging elsewhere, trying to catch its prey off-guard. Kuronue was amazed she'd lasted this long...

He spread his wings, and took flight, despite how sore they were from the trip here. He was almost to the pit when the ground started shaking again.

"Can't be!" he said, feeling a bit exasperated with the situation. He was starting to think that if you killed _one_ giant, _twelve_ more showed up for the funeral!

But he was wrong, _thankfully_. It was only one giant this time, but _still_ a big enough pain in the ass. Just as Kuronue reached the edge of the pit-

**BAM**

His head connected with the rocks that shot up in front of him! This one had turned the rocks on their side somehow or the other. Kuronue was blocked from entering the pit on this side, and unless he killed this laughing beast, he wouldn't be able to get to the other side.

"Got a head-ache?"

"That's. It." The bat stood, and began stalking over to the creature who seemed so amused by his own wit. He completely ignored the imp that came sailing by him, splattering on a nearby rock. He was _usually_ one for goofing off and having a good time, but enough was enough for one day...

He pulled out his scythes and got ready to go to work.

"Not that again! Don't you have any _new_ tricks?" the monster asked.

Kuronue smirked as he threw two scythes. The beast dodged, laughing all the while; that was until, he noticed that there were _two more_ headed his way; and two more after that; and they were _still_ coming. He scrambled to miss them all, getting cuts all over in the process. He didn't notice that they were coming from closer and closer every time.

Kuronue pulled every last drop of his strength into his fist, and shot upward. His fist connected with the giant's jaw in an uppercut. The monster's teeth clicked, and Kuronue _knew_ he heard a few break – along with its jaw. The beast's eyes rolled back, and he fell the same direction, leaving a nice-sized crater when he hit dirt.

"Now! If everyone's _QUITE_ finished, I have something to _DO_!" He got to the other side of the pit just as the dragon dived back underneath the lava. He watched for some sign of where it was planning to come out. His wings were sore and tired; he wouldn't be able to evade air attacks as easily as he usually could. Aside from that, he still wasn't confident in his _ability_ to do so. This _was_ the first day he'd flown in 1,200 years.

He held his scythes shakily. That punch had taken quite a bit out of him. He saw the lava begin to swell on one side of the pit, and just as he was ready to play the hero-

"TSUNAMI!"

The dragon's head shot out of the lava just in time to be doused by a blast of _water_. Kairi didn't tell him she could do that! Steam rose all around, making it impossible to see anything. He twirled a scythe by the chain, turning it into a kind of fan. When the steam cleared enough to see-

"No. Damned. Way." The bat rubbed his eyes, making sure they weren't fooling him. The dragon's head and one clawed "hand" were sticking up out of a _rock_! The lava had cooled when the water hit it, trapping the over-grown lizard. Kairi smirked and turned her head to look at the "wall" that Kuronue had bumped into. She formed a dagger and threw it toward a crack in that wall. The dragon was screeching for its freedom, but Kuro could hear another sound; rocks cracking. The cracking got louder, and the top of the wall started to slide. The dragon looked up, and it's scaly ears drooped. Its angry scream turned into an "uh-oh" type of noise followed by-

**SPLAT**

Yoko joined Kuro on the sidelines. He smirked when he saw the puddle forming around the sides of the rock pile.

"I take it the damsel slew her own dragon."

"Yup."

"I told you before, you can't be late for a date. Women get testy."

"Yeah, she went and had all the fun without me."

Both boys were a tad startled when they saw her hit her knees on the pillar, but they knew she must have exhausted herself dodging.

"Can you use your song to get you power back?" Yoko called.

'_I hope so,' _Kuronue thought._ 'I'm ready to keel over, too. I don't think I can pack her back over here and Yoko can't fly...'_

"Yeah," she answered, letting Kuronue feel a little relief. She started using her song, but it wasn't anything hard this time, to Kuro's dismay. It was a pop song that he thought he'd heard some girls singing at the lounge on Karaoke Night. "I don't wanna be like Cinderella" or something like that. She was actually singing this one herself, not just playing it. He noted the lyrics, and couldn't help but laugh a little.

**When I was just a little girl  
My mama used to tuck me into bed  
and she read me a story  
It always was about a Princess in distress  
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory**

**I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be  
Though one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me**

**I don't wanna be like Cinderella  
Sitting in a dark old dusty cellar  
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free  
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On a horse of white unless we're riding side by side  
Don't want to depend on no one else  
I'd rather rescue myself**

**Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart, and mind  
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me  
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am  
Don't need nobody taking care of me**

**I will be there for him just as long as he will be there for me,  
When I give myself then it has to got to be, an equal thing**

**  
I can slay my own dragons,  
I can dream my own dreams,  
My knight in shining armor,  
Is me,  
So I'm gonna set me free **

"You _know_ we're never gonna hear the end of this," Kuro muttered to Yoko.

"No. _You're_ never going to hear the end of this. _I've_ never doubted the girl."

"Not _out loud_ you haven't," Kuro said.

Kuronue and Yoko argued a little more as the girl spread her wings and flew over to them. She was still too tired to bother talking to them. She let them have at it. _Whatever_ as long as they left _her_ alone. But she _was_ planning to throw this up in Kuro's face next time he started acting like he was only a second away from patting her on the head and dismissing her. _Kurama_ she could handle; _he_ wasn't sexist. Male or female; didn't matter. If it wanted a fight: _Fine_. She'd never caught him mentally undressing her either...

After quite a bit more arguing, the boys gave it up. The only way to end this was another skirmish, and they were both too tired to fool with it. They agreed to beat each other senseless later – after they'd both had a nap.

They then had a round of complimenting each other on the fight; Kuro praising Kurama's flying imps, and Kurama congratulating Kuro on the "giant" uppercut.

"Uh, hel-_LO_? Anyone know I'm still breathing?"

"Oh, you still there?" Kuro teased.

"We're aware."

"Do you _not_ see that?" she said, pointing to the rock pile that _used to be_ a dragon.

"We kill a blue-million imps and giants; she wants praise for one chameleon with bad breath," Kuro said, winking at the fox.

"_What_?" she said. Kuro had struck whatever nerve he was looking for.

"There's a _chihuahua_ in Living World that coulda captured it _alive_ if he'd had a bigger box," Kuro joked. He was _trying_ to keep his poker face, but failing miserably. The fox had turned away, knowing he couldn't resist a laugh or two at this either. Kuro had a way of getting under people's skin.

"Jackass," she said.

"Bitch."

"Prick."

It went on this way for a while before Kurama silenced them both. He was _starting_ to wonder if they _liked_ fighting with each other...

"We still have one more obstacle, then we'll be in the garden. After that, I believe there will be a gap somewhere around it, so that we don't have to take the same route home," he said. There were always gaps right around the castle. He was pretty sure he could find one, and they could get home and _end_ this nightmare.

"If it involves dryads, vines, Chia-Pets, fire, lava, imps, or giants I'm shaving your tail, fox," Kuro threatened.

"Just a cave. It's on Suzuka's map. We're not more than 2 miles away. It isn't very long, and its exit will put us within a half a mile of the garden's gate."

"Cave?" Kairi said, sounding a bit concerned.

"What? You afraid of the dark?" Kuro teased.

"No, but I don't think I'll like what's _in_ it... Actually, I _KNOW_ I won't like what's in it since _YOU'RE_ coming," she said.

Kuronue saw this golden opportunity to pick another fight. Yoko's whip was still lying on the ground, and Kairi's belt was made to resemble a chain. Perfect. He slipped an arm around her shoulder, and in his most obnoxious voice, he said: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains _excite_ me!"

Kairi crossed her arms and looked at the bat. "You can either remove your arm from my shoulder, or **_I _**can remove your arm from _your_ shoulder," she said, in her sweetest voice, with a smile to match it.

He let her go and she started walking. Yoko leaned in close.

"Nicely played."

"Thank you," the bat said, fighting laughter.

"It takes a lot to get to her. You _do_ have a way with people, don't you?" the fox chuckled.

"Ah. It's a talent." Kuronue was thoroughly enjoying the payback, even if he doubted it would last long...

**A little while later **at** the foot of a short trail...**

The trio looked up to the mouth of the cave.

"That's it?" Kuro asked. It seemed a bit boring.

"Oh, you've _got_ to be kidding me," Kairi said, getting both boys' attention.

"What? Think the boogeyman's going to get you?" Kuro asked.

"The bogeyman doesn't bother me. I've killed quite a few of those."

"Then _what_?" the bat asked, getting a bit impatient.

"I've seen Gremlins 2, Harry Potter, _AND_ Lord of the Rings! I _know_ what's always living in caves like that _damnit_!"

"Scared?"

"You noticed what kinda luck we've been having here lately? You really wanna add to it?"

"I make my own luck," Kuro said, looking cocky as ever.

"Would that explain the _rest_ of this trip?" Kairi said, attempting yet again to poke a hole in that over-inflated ego.

"Let's go," Yoko said, cutting the fight short. He had resigned to his job as the ref until they got back home. When they started up there, he could _leave_...

"There's another path right there," Kairi said, pointing to a dirt path that looked like it ran alongside the cave. It might have taken a little longer, but it was bright and sunny, and lined in wildflowers; the cave didn't look like a place they should be going with their current record...

"It isn't on the map," Yoko said.

"Um, that holds _what_ significance here?" she asked.

"We don't know how to navigate that trail, nor do we know where it leads."

"We could ask _directions_," she said. Both men looked like they'd just heard the village idiot speaking. They rolled their eyes, and gave her the look she'd gotten used to; the one where she half-expected to be patted on the head and told not to speak of things which went beyond her comprehension. They started walking to the cave. She gave a heavy sigh and followed against her better judgment.

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**Not too much longer to go. Next chappie: The garden! ... after a little more drama... And remember that "cutest little creature" I was talking about? Well he's only a couple chappies away! (Maybe the next one if I get time to write another lengthy one.) Till then, the more reviews, the faster I write!**


	20. Spiders and Snakes

**Thanks for the reviews! This one was rushed through today, so please look over it if I made any mistakes. Today (Feb. 3rd ) was my birthday, so I got a few calls while I was trying to write. Not that anyone actually stopped to see me... DAMN IT! My family took off to visit out-of-state relatives and left me here all by my little lonesome. (Growls) On the bright side, Dairy Queen is making me a YYH ice cream cake for a late party tomorrow(Or today, it IS after midnight...)! I can't believe I got out another chapter this size! Especially since I didn't start till a few hours ago and I kept getting distracted. YAY FOR ME! LOL**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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The gang walked through the cave. Yoko wished he could say that they were walking _silently_, but that wasn't the case. Kuronue had been cheap-shotting Kairi since the second they stepped out of the last bit of light that shone in through the entrance. She wasn't afraid of the dark; Yoko _knew_ she _preferred_ the dark; and she had no qualms with _caves_, she had slept in many. She just didn't like _this_ cave. As for _why_, Yoko had no clue. 

The boys – both nocturnal creatures – were having a much easier time than Kairi. She had good enough night-vision from her father's side to get by, but she had a feeling that the boys were completely at home in this dungeon...

"Kuro, how far are we from the exit?" Yoko asked, trying to stop another feud from getting underway.

"Can't tell. It doesn't seem close, though." The bat closed his eyes again and used his 'radar', but he couldn't tell anything. This cave must have had a lot of twists and turns. No prob. Every cave had a few of those after all. It wasn't like it was a school hallway.

"Why do I _still _not like this?" Kairi asked.

"Because we're in the dark and you have no idea what could be waiting to jump out and grab you, then drag you back to its lair." The bat was still at it.

"I'd feel sorry for anything that tried," she said.

"I'd feel sorry for anything that _succeeded_," Kuronue remarked.

Yoko ignored the two and started to sniff the air. There was something in it that he just didn't like, though he couldn't quite pin what it was. He wandered a few feet forward, trying to see what this smell could be as the bat started taunting the girl some more. He was talking about how her little scuffle with the lizard wasn't all that grand compared to what the boys had done.

"You know, I seem to recall killing a few fire-imps myself, pally-boy."

"Not enough to matter."

"I fought just as hard as you two did, and _I _didn't have the luxury of a tag-team partner."

"You didn't _need_ one. We took the _frontline_. All _you_ had to do was deal with our _leftovers_."

"You just can't bring yourself to admit that a _girl _was capable of standing on the same battlefield as you, can you?"

"Psh." It looked like bat-boy didn't have an answer for that one. Truth was, he didn't have a problem with female fighters. He'd stood on the battlefield with quite a few; _enemies _of course, but he'd treated them just the same as he did the males. The thing was, the ones he'd faced, conducted themselves as _warriors_. Yoko had been thinking that if Kai was more like Mukuro or Natsume, serious and dedicated to the ways of the warriors, Kuro wouldn't have said a word. He placed women in 3 categories: First, there were ones you use for amusement. Kairi and most of the girls at their school likely fell into that one. Anything cute and "girly" usually did. The second was, simply put, the "ugly" ones. Those only came in handy if they were nurses and he was injured. Or if they were merchants or cooks, something useful to him. The third type was women like Mukuro. They were women, but they acted indifferently, so, who cared what they looked like under their clothes? He'd kick their asses just the same as any man. His dilemma, was that he'd never encountered one that he couldn't chalk up to one category or the next at first glance; or _thousandth _glance for that.

Kairi was just about to start in again; press the matter until he answered, when Yoko's voice came to her ears. "There's _something _in here. I can't tell what, but be on guard."

Both nodded to his warning, and, as if on cue, a rustling and squeaking started to sound. It was coming at them fast. Yoko and Kairi's eyes narrowed in its direction, waiting to see what was after them. Kuronue, however, folded his arms and leaned against the cave wall, smirking a little.

A big, black cloud came squeaking by them. Kuronue had expected Kairi to shriek or jump around all panicky, but no such luck. She simply stepped out of the way, barely flinching, _if _she _did _flinch.

"Friends of yours?" she asked Kuronue when the bats got past them.

"Yup. That feisty one out in front's my aunt's stepsister's brother-in-law's ex-girlfriend's cousin's love-child's nephew's sister's long lost cousin, twice removed."

"Smartassed prick."

"Shapely bitch."

"Kuro," Yoko said, breaking it up again. "What was wrong with them? They came out in quite a hurry, and in _daylight _hours; what scared them?" he asked, ignoring that family remark. Kuronue could sometimes sound so serious with his smart-alek comments that it was hard to tell when he was joking. Thankfully it was pretty obvious this time. If Yoko had had to judge that by his friend's tone of voice or his expression, he'd be asking why he hadn't told him about the reunion.

"Don't know. I didn't send any signals to 'em though, so don't blame _me_." He growled that last little bit to Kairi, who was staring him down like a mother would her children when someone broke the window with a baseball.

"Never mind," Yoko said. "I think I _know _why."

They followed his line of sight to the cave in front of them. There were hissing noises coming out, and Kuro was already pulling his scythes. Kairi could see something wiggling, but her eyes wouldn't allow her to see that far; as soon as she heard the first hiss, though, she knew what it was.

"This day just keeps getting better, huh?" Kuronue said.

The crew set to killing the snakes heading their way, which only took a few minutes. They were soon walking further into the cave again, but watching their steps much more closely. They knew what those snakes were. _Cobras_. Not so good for a careless traveler to stumble on in the dark.

They soon saw light ahead, but it wasn't daylight. More like a torch's light. After the cautious approach, they found a large chamber in the middle of the cave. Torches lit up a few places along the wall, but Yoko knew this type of kindling. They had likely been burning for years. They looked around as best they could. There were pillars of rock jutting up from the floor all over this "room", making it difficult to tell anything.

"Yippee," Kuronue said. "Didn't your friend tell you _anything_ about this place?"

"Suzuka didn't need to use this part of the map, remember? He disguised himself as a gardener and probably sneaked right through the castle unnoticed. He only needed the map to identify the trees in the forest beyond the rear gate."

"Remind me to kick Suzuka's-" **_CLANG_** "Hey! What was that for?" Kuronue semi-yelled at Kairi. She had sunk her dagger into the wall, just inches from his head. He turned to look, and saw a baby cobra, hanging from a tiny vine; a dagger was now sticking through it's head.

Her expression never changed; still blank and cold, yet slightly cocky. He knew that whether she said anything or not, this was going to haunt him later. He was about to resort to damage control, try to say something to ease this later, when Yoko got his attention.

"There's no way," the fox said, mostly to himself. He started to walk in the direction he was staring. Kairi followed, equally shocked by the looks of it.

Kuronue turned his head, and saw a big lump of something white. His eyes had fully adjusted to the dark earlier, and they hadn't been as quick to welcome the light from the torches yet. He walked behind the other two, and was almost to that lump before he could see the little lines in it. As soon as he got a clear view of it, he knew what it was, and found himself involuntarily taking a hard swallow. "Tell me that isn't-"

"Snake skin. And all from the same snake," Yoko said.

"He'd have to be at least -" Kuronue looked from one end to the other," 50 freakin' feet long!"

"Longer than that," Kairi said, now back to her expressionless state.

"How do you get that?"

"Because this is old," Yoko said, sniffing the air around the skin. "They shrink after a while."

"Aw, _hell _no! Wait, how did we miss this thing? If he's that big he can't be hard to spot. Or _smell_..."

"This whole chamber smells of snakes. It's impossible to pinpoint."

"I know where he is," Kairi said, getting both boy's attention. "With our luck, he'll be coiled up right in front of the nearest exit."

"Why do I not doubt that?" Kuronue said.

"Take the beaten path? Hell naw!" Kairi said, in her most sarcastic tone. "It's not on the _map_."

"Don't start," Yoko growled.

"You know," she continued. "Moses and the children of Israel spent 40 years wandering around. That proves that even in biblical times, men couldn't ask for directions."

"I seem to remember a certain _female _living in a garden paradise, and she picked an apple off the _one _tree she wasn't supposed to touch..." Kuronue wasn't planning to lose this one. "Instead of just talking to her man first; he might've been able to talk some sense to her."

"Yeah, the Tree of _Knowledge_. Which proves women got smart first, too."

"I think I want my rib back," Kuronue muttered. Even though they were talking about human things, he didn't doubt that demon women had come to be in much the same fashion. They'd probably been the ones to _suggest _stealing a body part from a poor, unsuspecting man, promising him a companion, only for the poor schmuck to find out that she was nothing but trouble, and would eventually meet up with a guy in snake-skin britches and get him kicked out of his home... "Besides, I think he gave up one from the side he carried his wallet."

Yoko began to growl as the fight waged on. His tail was big and bushy again. He didn't like the words "I told you so" unless _he _was the one saying them. He could only think of two people who had ever had the chance to say them to him, and they were Hiei and Kuronue. Kairi was not only _hurting _his pride, she was rubbing salt in the wound.

Just as Yoko was ready to tag in with Kuronue, the fight and the growling came to a halt. There was a loud hissing, and they all knew what that meant. Ding ding ding. Round two!

Yoko looked up to see a monster of a cobra baring its fangs. "I'm having one of those days," he said.

"I'm having one of those lives," both of his comrades said at the same time, each quirking an eyebrow at the other when they realized what they had done.

The snake came crashing down at the fox, who dodged in the nick of time. He threw out his whip, putting a good dent in the monster, and probably going a long way to slow it down. Kuronue knew Yoko had hesitated to dodge until the last second. That way the snake wouldn't have time to figure out that he'd missed and go on the defensive.

Soon scythes were whirling and flying, as well as the whip and the daggers. The latter of the three wasn't doing much damage to the snake until Kairi had found her way to the top of one of the pillars and launched one into an eye. The snake recoiled, and it gave the boys enough time to finish it, once again employing that "you take the right, I'll take the left and we'll meet in the middle" tactic that they had used on the giant.

They made their way up to the top of the rock with Kairi. "Are you alright?" Yoko asked, not really needing an answer. She was standing, which meant she'd say she was, regardless.

"We got a problem," Kuronue said, in an actually serious tone.

"Now what?" the fox asked.

"Take a look at that hood," Kuronue said. Both of the others did as he said. Both were experienced travelers, and knew all about snakes. The color of the markings on the hood suggested that this snake was a male; there were baby cobras all over this cave, and since the species was not a-sexual...

"Where's Mama?" Kuronue asked, knowing by their looks that the other two saw what he meant. Suddenly, he felt as if he was being watched. He turned and saw another snake, even longer than "Papa", staring down at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a small alcove high in the wall. "Move, NOW!" he yelled, just as the snake came down on the pillar. The other two saw him heading up to the alcove and followed suit. Yoko shot out vines to latch onto his friend's arm and pull himself up, and Kairi had spread her wings on her way off the rock. Once inside, they looked down at the serpent.

"Well, we're out of her reach," Kuronue said.

"Unless she's the spitting variety," Yoko pointed out. To answer that, the snake opened her mouth and let out a long string of venom. Just as it was about to hit, Kairi dived in front of Kuronue.

"TSUNAMI!"

The water repelled the venom; lucky for the bat. It also angered the snake. It started lashing its tail at the side of the cave, trying to shake them down. She was much faster and much stronger the first had been.

"Anyone have any brilliant ideas?" the fox asked, not in the best of moods. He knew of a few ways to handle this thing, but he would have to burn quite a bit of energy to do it. Best not to waste it if he didn't _have _to. You could never tell when you would need it later. Good thing Kuwabara and Yusuke weren't here; with the way they _conserved_ energy, they would've been dead hours ago...

"Nada," Kuronue said. "I don't think she likes us too well."

"We just killed the only man here big enough to do anything for her," Kairi said. "If I was her, I'd wanna kill us, too."

"Thank you for the insight," Yoko said, growing more annoyed by the minute. "Now can we think of a way to send her to the depths of Hell where she can be reunited with her lover?" he asked, glowering down at his two grinning teammates.

"I'm fresh out of ideas for this one," Kuronue said, barely noticing Kairi digging through that backpack. "I think she has PMS."

"Well, what a coincidence...," Kairi said in her dry, annoyed voice.

She dived down from the alcove, spreading her wings on the way. The boys just blinked at each other. They'd bail her out when she needed it, of course, but they were just going to sit the rest of this one out. They didn't know what had possessed her to go down there, but they had a feeling they were better off to let her get it out of her system...

When the snake opened it's mouth to spit its venom, she fed it a mason jar of some kind of liquid. Neither boy knew what the hell she was doing, but it was apparent she had some kind of plan. More than they had been giving her credit for...

"I hope your happy, bitch!" she said to the snake. "I was saving this for my ex!"

The boys watched her flip a switch on some small, oblong, thing in her hand, then she brought it to her mouth.

"I know there is no way in hell she's got what I think she's got," Kuronue said, shaking his head.

But, she did.

He watched her bite the end of that thing, and pull it away from her mouth, then toss it at the snake, who still had its mouth open, trying to get rid of the mason jar.

**BOOM**

The grenade blew, and so did whatever chemical combination that was in that jar. When the mess settled, the boys, still slightly in disbelief, came down from the alcove, and stood looking at her, wide-eyed.

"Bitch," she stated, in a rather funny sounding way, then she spit out the pin. She turned and walked to the rear of the chamber without another word. The boys were temporarily incapable of words. When they _did _recover, Kuronue said, "See? This is why no _woman_ should ever be elected into the highest office of a country with nuclear capabilities. I would not want _THAT_ sitting next to that little red button _all month long,_ if you know what I mean."

Yoko just nodded, eyes still a little wider than they should be, and started to follow the girl. He never knew PMS could be so lethal...

It wasn't long until they reached the next part of the cave. It was another chamber of sorts, but this one wasn't lit. A few steps in, there was a loud boom behind them. They turned to see that a rock had slid down, blocking their way back to the "snake room". Yoko shrugged and walked a little further in, but he felt something tickling his face. He plucked a seed from his hair and a second later, there was a lamp weed on the ground. There were webs everywhere.

Kairi looked at them and immediately, that GI Jane attitude was gone. "Tell you what, you boys handle this, aaaaand I'm gonna go back and play with the snakes."

She started to turn and walk, but Kuronue grabbed her elbow and pulled her back. "Where the hell do you think _you're_ going?"

"I think I dropped something back there. Be back in a little while." She started to pull away and take another step toward the sealed door, but a tarantula-looking spider was standing in her way.

"Eek!"

She squeaked and jumped behind Kuronue, peeking out from behind his shoulder.

"What the?" Kuronue started to snicker.

"Don't start!" she said.

"You just dived in to a battle with a snake that makes an Anaconda look like a worm, and you're afraid of _that_?" he asked, looking down at the spider that was barely bigger than a ping-pong ball.

"I don't like spiders," she stated bluntly, trying to get a little dignity back into her voice. That faded when the spider took a sudden step toward the person she was hiding behind. She made another squeaking gasp, and both boys were laughing. "What? _NO _girl likes spiders! What kinda _butch_-bitch do you think I am?" They were laughing harder, and harder still when it took another step, and she made another small jump. "Would you just shut up and _kill_ it!"

Kuronue stopped himself from laughing, and put on the cockiest smirk Yoko had ever known of him to wear, then slowly stepped on the spider, making sure Kairi heard the splat. He never turned that smirk away from her through the whole process. The look he was giving her was saying "See? This is how us big-boys kill little-bitty spiders. Take notes."

When the bat came back, smiling wide, so did the girl's attitude. "Boy, don't you _even_ give me that look!"

"Might wanna keep that in check, darlin'," he said. He pointed to the ground behind her, where Yoko had shown him that a bigger spider was standing, not 10 inches from her foot.

She looked down and froze. The spider took a step toward her, and she shrieked, diving into Kuronue's arms bridal-style, and hanging onto his neck for dear life.

Yoko was stifling his laughter as best he could, but that wasn't much help given the circumstances. "I think _this _is a Kodak moment," he managed to say.

Kuronue was holding up much better in the laughing department. He was happy with his cocky smirk, which had turned into a cocky smile. He considered dropping her right next to the spider, but he figured that this was probably much more degrading.

"Yoko, what do you think we should do? Should we kill it?"

"YES!"

"I don't know Kuronue," the fox replied, in an equally taunting voice. "Maybe we could keep him for a pet."

"Alright boys, joke's over," Kairi said.

"Oh? Then I guess you wouldn't mind going back down there," Kuronue smirked. He moved his arms quick, _acting _like he was going to drop her, and she locked a death-grip on his neck, making them laugh even harder.

Yoko squashed the spider, more interested in making good time than torturing Kairi. They'd have enough to rub her nose in for years anyway. Just as she was about to come down from her "safe haven", a few more spiders showed up. Yoko squashed those, but there were more, and then more. And they seemed to be getting bigger every time a new wave of them came.

Kairi cringed when Kuronue, now looking serious, put her down and went to help Yoko. The spiders went from the size of a dinner plate to the size of a chihuahua, and now they were about the size of saint bernards. Kuronue remembered that "I've seen Gremlins 2, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings" statement from before they came in; he could practically hear her giving another "I told you so" speech already. The thoughts were shoved from his mind when he caught a glimpse of something moving above them.

"Yoko. Look. Up."

The fox did, and he saw a spider as big as a Mack truck descending on a web that looked as thick as a steel cable. "Remind me, Kuronue. How did I get talked into this?"

"You volunteered, so don't blame me!" he said, dodging a blast of web from the big spider. Kairi was behind him, so he turned to see if she'd been hit.

Nope.

Not even close.

Every time one of those other spiders got near her, she was _GONE_! That was the fastest he'd seen her moving since they started. At least there were no worries about her getting too close. Now to deal with the other problems.

Yoko started slinging seeds everywhere. Then he released an amount of energy that Kuronue envied. The fox had been getting stronger since he'd been sidelined, damn it.

Carnivorous plants shot out everywhere, devouring the smaller spiders. That left the big 'un.

Yoko shot vines out at its legs, which it batted away. This gave Kuronue time to act, though. He shot into the air over its head, throwing a scythe at its back as he did. He was rather surprised by the clang he heard.

"A shell?" Kuronue said. _'Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!...'_

Yoko saw how this was going to go. It raised up, and he saw that its undersides were unprotected. He launched a rose dart, and the creature screamed. After that, it had learned its lesson. It had no intention of exposing its soft belly again. Yoko cracked his whip at it, trying to make it rear up, but no dice. It reared up a little, but not enough for a hit. It was mostly dodging to the sides. If they wanted this done, they would have to do it from both sides simultaneously.

"Kairi!" the fox yelled, but she wasn't going for it. He could practically hear her saying "Screw you. Better _you _than _me_!"

"What good would she do?" Kuronue asked. The girl would probably faint if she got close to the thing.

"She has a whip. She's no good with it as a weapon, but she knows how to make noise with it! That's all I need!"

"Kai, get your round-ass over here and fight with the rest of us or I'm gonna _drag _you over here and throw you into its web!"

"You can't, asshole! You're too busy with it!"

"If I give you to it, it'll be too busy chowing down to worry about Yoko and I getting away!"

"You _wouldn't!_"

"Try me!" Kuronue didn't think this was going to work, and he was right. She wasn't buying the threat. He needed something a little more creative. He spotted one of the Saint Bernard-sized spiders hiding from the plants and got an idea. He threw his scythe at an angle, causing it to wrap around it, then flung it in Kairi's direction. To say the least, it didn't take her long to come out of that corner.

"YOU BASTARD!"

"Glad you could join us," he smiled.

"Get that whip and help me!" Yoko commanded. She already had it in hand. That's how she'd been fending them off so far. Just a plain old rawhide whip. Not good for much except scaring animals. Kuronue, even in the midst of battle, could think of a few other uses, and he was going to give her pure hell about it ( and a few other things ) as soon as this was over.

Yoko cracked his whip on one side of the spider's "feet", and Kairi mirrored him on the other. After a few rounds of this, they had it backed to the wall, though the girl had been a little less thrilled about following it than the fox had been. When it was out of room to back up, it had no choice but to raise up, and Kuronue _handled _it. He threw both scythes, hooking one in either side of its midsection, then shot into the air, ripping them upward by the chains.

The boys looked pleased with the outcome, and were walking calmly to the door, when they noticed that the girl was near fainting. Instead of the sensitive route, Kuronue stalked over to her, threw her over his shoulder, and joined Yoko again.

"Put. Me. Down!"

"Zip it, woman."

"WOMAN? Since when do you get the right to call me-" **SLAP** " OW! You PRICK!" she screamed, when she felt that hand slapping her vinyl-clad bottom. The sound of that slap echoed in the cave, _almost _loud enough to drown out the sound of Yoko's chortling.

"Will _that _shut you up, or do you want another?" Kuronue asked.

"I've killed for less, you winged-rat-bastard!" SLAP "OW! You. Are. DEAD!"

"What I wouldn't give for a camera right now," Yoko chuckled, causing Kuronue to laugh a little, too.

"Scratch that. You're _BOTH _dead!"

"Not much incentive for me to put you down, huh?" Kuronue teased. This was the most fun he'd had since this trip started. "Hey, Yoko, you see that?" he said, sounding serious, but Kairi couldn't see him winking and mouthing words to the fox.

"Not another spider!" Yoko gasped, grinning from ear to pointed ear.

"What?" Kairi squeaked. Both boys started laughing again. The tables just got turned on the little battle that started back at Genkai's, and they were aiming to keep it in their favor from here on out.

After some more teasing, they reached the end of the cave. They went on along the mountain path, and ended up overlooking the garden's gate. Well, the boys were overlooking it. Kairi was still slung over Kuronue's shoulder.

"Well, how do we get past them?" Kuronue asked, looking at the guards.

"I was thinking of putting them to sleep," Yoko said.

Whatever they were going to do, they'd have to drop the girl to do it. And Kuronue dreaded that more than walking through the black gates of Hell...

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**Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... Poor boys... Anyway, you know the drill. REVIEW! If nothing else, take pity on a poor writer who spent her 22nd B-day all alone :-( Reviews make great presents you know! The first person to tell me happy birthday was one of my readers LOL I was in shock! But I was happy all day for it:o)**


	21. Lovers' Quarrel?

**Hiya! And THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed and wished me a happy birthday! Guess what. We're finally in the garden! And Kuro is finally getting some depth! And one of Kairi's other purposes can be shown. I'm using her to give him depth. Kurama ain't the most masculine fella in the world as it is. I didn't want to add the burden of getting touchy-feely to the poor guy. Let the girl do it. And she does still have more uses, just not yet...**

**PS: _I Love Being a Bad Guy_ is a 2 shot now. Now it has the story of how the boys met, and why they are so close. Also, how Yoko met Yomi.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"How are we gonna get across that bridge without them sounding the alarm?" Kuronue asked. He knew that Yoko's Dream Pollen would put them to sleep when they got _to_ the gate, but if they alerted them to their presence with the sound of the bridge falling they'd never get close enough to _try_... 

"I was wondering about that myself," Yoko said.

"Will you put me down already?"

"Notta chance. Any way we could cushion the landing? Muffle the sound a litt- OW!"

"Oops," Kairi said.

"I'll _bet _that was an accident... OW! Damn it, woman! OW!"

"You want me to stop then put me down," she said. When the bat showed no signs of dropping her, she grabbed another hunk of his sore wing...

"OW!" Kuro flipped his wing - as bad as it hurt him to do so - right back at her, slapping her in the face.

"Prick!" Squeeze.

"Bitch!" Slap.

While they played their new little game, Yoko leaned against the mountainside, watching it all and shaking his head. He looked again at the river between them and the garden. There was a fog lifting off of it. Toxins._ 'It would be pointless to try using one of my plants near that fog; they would shrivel and die before they could be of any use. There has to be another way to avert the guards' attention.' _He looked at his friends. _'I think I'm getting an idea...'_ He smiled mischievously.

"Kairi," the fox said, getting both demons to call a temporary halt to the fight.

"Yeah?" she asked, still highly annoyed and making no visible effort to suppress it.

"I think I may have an extra job for you."

"Unless it's a contract on bat-boy's head, there ain't much way I can handle it from here."

"You couldn't handle _that_ from there either, toots," Kuronue pointed out.

"It wouldn't be too hard to sink a blade in your spine from here, jackass. After that I could dismantle what's left at my leisure and you wouldn't be able to _move_ to stop me."

"She has a point, Kuronue."

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" Kuronue said, shooting a glare at the fox.

"I don't care _whose _side he's on! Let me _go_!" Kairi said, then she grabbed a handful of black and gave a good hard _tug_ on the thin, sensitive part of his wing. He dropped her like a hot potato and wrapped it around to his front where he could check it for damage and rub some of the pain out.

Yoko found a rock cropping out from the side of the mountain and settled down on it. He might as well get comfy to watch this little show. He was right. Words not suitable for use anywhere other than a cab in the five o'clock traffic were flying back and forth as soon as Kuronue figured out that his wing wasn't hurt as bad as his pride.

"If you hadn't-" Blah blah was all Yoko heard after that. That was the way every sentence was starting. It went that way for a few more minutes, then they got onto what the other _had_ done.

"The only reason you looked my direction was because I was wearin' a D cup! And by the way, Judy and Trudy haven't grew any since the LAST time you checked 'em out, about, what? 30 seconds ago?"

"Don't flatter yourself! I've seen better!" Kuronue shouted back._ 'Not without surgical intervention, but I've seen better.' _

"You just _confessed _to spending enough time looking at 'em to make the damned comparison!"

_'Damn.' _A few minutes later, Kuronue had dug his hole even deeper. Time to dig his way out. After a few more shouts and downs from the girl, "Hey, Broad-zilla! You wouldn't be breathing if it wasn't for me!"

"Oh, _really_?"

They were on this topic again. Yoko thought about Kairi's being a siren and Kuronue's new job as a musician. He was waiting for them to burst into a chorus of '**_Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better_**'...

"I seem to remember a guy named Mongo swingin' a club with your name on it! I got in his way _knowing_ I was already injured to save your ass!"

"And I seem to remember thanking you for it. I DON'T recall you saying anything of the like when I dived in front of a stream of venom to keep you amongst the living!"

Kuronue was silent for the first time in the last half-hour.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" she pressed; still no answer. "Would it _kill_ you to let a '_thanks_' pass your lips? Would it _just__kill_ you?"

Yoko fought to keep a straight face. From their expressions and words, it could just as easily have been Yusuke and Kayko standing there. Kuro was puffed up with his arms across his chest, and Kairi was staring him down with that bottom lip pooched out and her arms folded exactly like his. The only difference with these two and the newlywed couple he was comparing them to, was that Kayko and Yusuke fought because they were so _different_; these two were too much alike – pride, stubbornness, and tempers included.

"Thank you!" Kuronue near-shouted with his sarcasm turned up on high.

Kairi growled, rolled her eyes, stamped her foot, and turned her back. She started walking away.

"What?" Kuronue said, throwing his arms up in the air. Yoko resisted the urge to point out how stupid that had been.

"Whaddaya mean '_what_'?"

"What the hell did I _say_?"

"You don't _know_?" She looked appalled.

"You _wanted_ me to say thank you, and that's what I _freakin' said_! What's got the burr under your saddle _now_?"

"If you can't figure out why I'm mad then I'm not _telling_ you!" she turned on heel and started stomping off again.

"What? How much _sense_ does _that_ make, _damnit_?"

If Yoko held it in any more he was going to pop. He started laughing, quietly, but still hard. He was bent over double before Kuronue's brain-cramp eased enough to let him notice.

"What the _hell_ is so funny?"

"Do you remember a girl by the name of Mei?"

Kuronue thought back. It took a few minutes, but he finally sifted into the deepest files of his mind's storage bin and shook the dust off that particular page. She was a vixen. A _feisty_ vixen. Yoko met her in a village they were staying outside of when he was somewhere in the range of 16 or 17. He was cold in business affairs back then, but he hadn't yet mastered being that way all the time. He fell for her like a ton of bricks off a ten-story rooftop. She hadn't been quite so taken with him, though. Yoko had chased that girl for months, but in the end, he had nothing to show for it but a broken heart and a bruise on his cheek in the shape of her hand. Kuronue had _not_ been quick to let him live it down.

Yoko'd had his fair-share of dealings with the ladies; feisty ones, mostly. Kuronue had taken the _easy_ route: one-nighter bimbos. Still, he was always quick to poke fun at Yoko's failures with the vixens. To have had so little experience with them, he sure seemed to _think_ he was an expert. Oh, how Yoko was enjoying this. Payback from way-back...

"Perhaps she would come back if called by her nickname," Yoko said, getting a gleam in his eyes.

"Which is?"

"Vixie!" Yoko called down the path. Kairi turned and waited for _him_ to come to _her_. She wasn't going back to where that thick-headed bat was. She had no clue why Yoko was calling her that, though. He _knew_ her nickname, but he never _used_ it...

"Damn it!" Kuronue said. "You didn't tell me-"

"You didn't ask," Yoko said, seeing Kuronue's anger work its way across his face.

"Vixie, huh?" Kuronue said, appearing to be piecing some things together in his mind.

"Welcome to _my_ world," Yoko said, walking on down to Kairi. He'd save the story on how she got that name for later. One more thing to inform him about a few minutes after the time to use the info had came and gone...

Yoko explained what he had in mind to her, and after a few minutes of rubbing his temples, Kuronue joined them. Almost instantly, he started probing her to tell him what the hell she was mad about. Big mistake. The fight was on again. Curse here; shout there...

"You know," Kuronue huffed, "if I'd known I was going to get my wings back we could have left you back in Human World!"

_'Not if my plan works,' _Yoko thought. _'Besides, I don't think we'll maintain these forms much longer. The energy I used in the cave isn't returning to me, and I doubt yours is either. I'm assuming that means that I'm fading back into Suichi's form slowly. It's better this way. As strong as we were when we first changed, we would never have been able to get close to those gates.'_

"I _wish_! I'd rather be back home with the guys! The only reason I came-"

"Was because _Kurama _asked! Yeah! I know!"

"Was because I wanted out of my _prison _for a little while and I didn't think you'd be _THIS _big of an _ass_!"

That took Kuronue a second to catch. "Prison?" he asked in a whole new tone.

"I was tired of spending all day playing Martha Stewart in front of the boys. I wanted to come out and play. That's why Kurama didn't hesitate to extend the invitation."

Kuro cocked an eyebrow. The look clearly stated that he wanted to hear the rest of this on the way to the bridge. They started walking again, Kuro listening; partially because if he wasn't talking, he couldn't get his ass in more trouble...

"The boys don't know about the guild. Not about _me_ ever being near it, at least. They don't know _anything_ I did before I found Toy a few months ago. Just that I roamed from town to town. Not one of 'em thinks that I can throw a punch without breaking every bone in my hand."

"Why?"

"The last time me and Toy saw each other, he was 14 and I was 8. I didn't know my dad; Toy thought his was dead. He was the man of the house; always taking care of baby sis. He saw a little girl one day, then the next time he saw me I was like this. He _missed_ the part where I _grew__up_. I'm still the kid who used to come cryin' to him when some punk called me a name and I still need to be sheltered. It helps him sleep, so I let him think it."

"What did you do _before_? I doubt you woke up one morning and decided to be a merc."

"I didn't go into that job by choice. I fell in with some other orphans after Mama died. We lived in a rough neighborhood, we'll leave it at that. The only way to survive was crime. Fortunately, we were good at it."

"So where does the roaming come in?"

"After one of them planted a knife firmly in my back." Kuro looked on, silently telling her to continue. "I was grown by then. I took off and didn't look back. Drifted to keep from being found. Eventually started liking the rogue life. Still pulled a job every now and then, just to keep money on hand if I needed it, but mostly I just rambled through the backwoods. Till I found Toy and met the boys, I was never in one place for more than 24 hours."

"You're miserable, aren't you?" he remembered what it was like. The rogue life. Free as the breeze, he used to say. He came and went as he damned well pleased. He answered to no one but the Lord above, and that was only when the Lord saw fit to send down some nasty weather to tie him down for a while. He and Yoko had loved that life. That's what hurt most about getting trapped in the Human World. It wasn't so easy to run wild there. He'd have to risk discovery, and in the weak bodies he'd been stuck with, that wasn't something he could do. Once you lived that life, tasted that freedom, nothing else really compared. Being tied to one place was like staying in a prison without the bars. At least in a jail cell, you had the knowledge that you weren't going anywhere. The way he'd been living was a thousand times more cruel. The world was out there, right in front of him, and it teased him every day. And in prison, he wouldn't have to pretend to be a normal boy either. He spent his days now hiding what he was and how he felt. That would change as soon as this was over, though. He would have his body back for good, no matter what he had to do, and he could leave Human World behind forevermore.

"Yep."

"Then why not just tell him? It's gotta be better than that." Both other demons noticed the way he said the word 'that', like he knew all about the subject.

"He'd never be able to live with it. Besides, they're safer not knowing a few things. It's worth it."

"Nothing could be worth living a lie."

Kurama was suddenly feeling much more amicable. He knew his human personality had crept back in there. It wouldn't be long before his body caught up. He thought about a certain woman back in Human World. One who was waiting for him to come home or call to check in. "There are some things," he said, a small smile forming as he thought of Shiori.

"You two are _both_ nuts. When I get out of my _shell_, I'm heading back home. There's way too much out there to sit around because _someone else_ needs peace of mind." He was thinking of Akari, and his so-called father, and Akari's daughter who was away at college. Then there were the people who called 'Kane' a friend. Other than Kurama, he had no friends. They were useless. Just someone to throw their burdens at you and expect you to care. He looked out for Number One, and of course there was _Kurama_; other than that, tough luck, world.

Kurama said nothing, though he imagined that he would have just a little while ago. He wasn't sure what to say. He knew that Kuronue would be heading back to Demon World eventually, but he had been expecting him to do it after this lifetime was over. After Shiori was gone, and Suichi's time was nigh. He didn't know that Kuro was planning to go so soon. He reasoned that this wasn't the time. They could talk it over later. Even if Kuro did go, it wasn't like they'd never see each other again. Kurama already knew that he would be free to revert to his demon form when Suichi's days were over, and then there was the tournament. Kurama would be in Demon World for that. He could visit, and he knew that Kuro would visit him. Still, he didn't like the idea of that much time apart. He'd just got his brother back...

"A few months ago I would've thought the same," Kairi said, pulling Kurama from his thoughts for the time-being.

"Whaddaya mean by that? How do you walk away from that life?"

"I didn't want to. I had to choose," she said.

"Don't know about _you_, but I _loved_ that life."

"So did I, but I found something else I loved more. It was worth it. I get restless, but I wouldn't trade them for the life I had. I wouldn't trade them for anything."

"Let me guess, Suichi feels the same way about Shiori, right?"

"Yes, I do," Yoko said, or at least he _looked_ like Yoko.

"Spell wearing off?" Kuro asked.

"It would seem," Kurama responded.

They ceased the conversation when they reached the edge of the river. Kuronue wouldn't admit it, but he _was _glad Kairi had come. His wings were flat-out throbbing! It was a good thing she was used to using hers on a daily basis.

Kairi pulled out the same stone she had used to change earlier and did it again. This time it was a little, and I do mean _little_, pink tube-dress. And it was so tight Kuronue thought it looked painted on. _'Now what the hell did she do _that_ for? Not that I don't like the view...,' _Kuronue thought. His eyes nearly bugged out at the rest of the routine. She pulled the little band that held the upper portion of her hair in a small ponytail and let it all hang free with the rest, then started running her fingers through it. The strips she touched were changing color! She was turning into a blonde right before his eyes! "What the?"

"This is how we're planning to get the guards' attention," Yoko said.

"Huh?"

"A little distraction so you two can sneak up with that Dream Pollen. I'll keep 'em from pulling the alarm until you get close," Kairi said, pulling her hair until it parted on the side and hung down slightly over one eye. "I don't want 'em giving a good description of me later," she said, seeing the puzzles in Kuro's eyes. "It's an illusion. Just a parlor trick an old friend taught me."

"Oooookay..."

What she did next left him completely bumfuzzled. She pulled a switchblade out of the bag and sliced her own damned throat! It wasn't a deep cut; just enough to bleed, but why the hell did she do that? Then she put some mild cuts along her arms and legs, all in places that would do no real harm, but they were also areas that would bleed profusely, giving the image of a severe wound, when in actuality, it was no worse than a girl would get if she nicked herself while shaving her legs. He was starting to comprehend...

"Ready?" Kurama asked, looking at the blood rolling down the girl. If he didn't know better, he'd think she'd just been attacked...

"I guess," she said. "You know where to go?"

"Yes. Those bushes will give us the perfect cover." Kurama motioned to the bushes he was talking about, so that Kuro would know where they were going as soon as the bridge touched down.

"See ya in a few," Kairi said, spreading her wings. She had to flap as hard as she could, but she made it off the ground and into a breeze. She got across the river and flipped the switch on the other bank. The bridge crashed down on the boys' side, making a combination thumping and splashing sound that could have been heard from a mile away. Kairi had already ran ahead before the boys had time to take the first step onto it.

"Help! Someone, please!" the blonde girl yelled to the two ogres standing at the garden gate. They rushed over to her, unaware that there were two demons coming shortly.

"What happened to you?"

"Are you alright?"

"How did you get here?"

"My friend and I were just taking a walk, and these huge men in prison uniforms attacked us!"

"What?" After a few minutes of the show, she had not only kept the men from calling out the entire army, she had talked them into sending the army elsewhere. They were going to send them back toward the other side of Spirit World's castle, where the blonde said she'd first encountered them. That should keep the gang from running into too many more.

'_She's good at this,'_ Kuronue thought.

After the guard called in to the office on his communicator to tell where the escapees were, Yoko and Kuro sent a blast of Dream Pollen at both. They were snoring even before their heads hit the grass.

"Let's get to steppin'," Kairi said, turning her whole body a bluish color. Her healing stopped the blood from flowing, but that was about it. Kuro realized that she had probably burned out most of that power when she healed his rib.

In no time, they were through the garden. There had been a couple more ogres guarding the rear gate, but all three demons knew how to be sneaky, especially when there was a vast amount of vegetation to use for cover. More Dream Pollen, and the ogres were snoozing. They jumped the gate and were, at long last, in the forest!

They walked the trail on the map, bypassing the decoy trees. Yoko snatched up a few seeds, stems and roots from the plants here. Most were unlike anything he'd ever _heard _of, let alone _seen_. At least _he _was benefiting from the field trip. Kairi _did _advise against using those plants, saying she had a bad feeling about them, but Kurama assured her he would use extreme caution when testing them. Translation: Shut up. I know what I'm doing...

They could finally see the orchard they were looking for. This had been the easiest part of the trip. That should have made them happy, but they weren't naive enough for that. Something was wrong with this picture...

All at once, the three froze dead in their tracks.

"It's-"

"Too quiet," Kairi and Kuro finished.

They waited for something to happen, but nothing did. After a while, they went on to the trees, keeping their caution cranked to the max. Not difficult for the outlaw band. All three were used to being chased by some form of law enforcement or hounded by old enemies.

Kurama fumbled through his hair and pulled out the seed he was looking for. A plant with little tentacles. He was going to let the plant hold all it could of the sap, then cart it back to Suzuka, but Kairi went back to the bag, and pulled out a thin hose and a few Mason jars. Kurama gladly accepted them. They could hold a lot more this way, and hopefully, they would have enough to avoid making a return trip. He broke off the end of one of the tentacles, which had a sharp tip, then stretched it over the end of the hose. He stuck the sharp end into the tree, and found out that this tree had no solid bark; it was soft. It kind of reminded him of the gummy candy that had the liquid center. As soon as the tip went in, the hose was filling with sap. This was easier than siphoning a gas tank!

"How much stuff do you have in that damn thing?" Kuro asked, staring at the backpack.

"Enough junk to fill a mall or two. It stores in Pseudo Space, so it never runs out of room," she said. To demonstrate, she reached her arm into the pack and pulled it all the way to her shoulder. Her arm was twice as long as the bag was tall, but she never hit bottom. "Found it right after I took off on the road. Made traveling a lot easier."

"I'll bet," Kuro said, still slightly in disbelief. Then he thought about everything else he'd seen as of late. Nope. Not a thing strange about that bag. Well, there was _one_ thing. "You mean to tell me you've had that thing for years and no one's stolen it?"

"Wouldn't do any good. It only works for its owner. Try it." She tossed it to him and he tried the same arm trick. He felt the material on the bottom of the seemingly empty and normal backpack.

"You. Are. _Weird_," he said, tossing it back to her.

"Thanks. I try," she smiled.

Kurama finished siphoning the tree and capped off the jars. He'd done all of this rather quietly. He wasn't much in the mood for talking after what had been said earlier. He was still thinking about Kuronue going back to Demon World. They placed the jars back in the bag and he fumbled for his compass and the stone to reveal the gaps. Luckily, the spell Miki'd used hadn't caused him to _lose _what was in his pockets, it just transferred them to _new _pockets. He pulled them out just in time for the ambush...

"I had a feelin' that was gonna happen," Kuro said, pulling out his scythes. The crew set to work. This was old news by now. A few random demons who wanted to fight them because they were afraid of someone spotting them and reporting it to the authorities. In the heat of battle, though, neither of them had time to watch the other two all that closely. They didn't notice that some of these convicts recognized the _celebrity_ standing before them. Most went for Yoko Kurama; the man whose _death_ could make them famous!

He handled business as usual, with the exception of one minor detail. The change between Yoko and Suichi felt awkward. He stumbled ever-so-slightly, and was punched, causing him to inhale through his mouth. About the time that mouth flew open, one of the others pushed Kuro at him, and in turn, _Kuro_ pushed _Yoko_ into the tree. His open mouth connected right where the _siphoning hole_ had been, and that squishy tree let out a big squirt on impact. He _tried_ to spit it out, but someone clapped him on the back before he had the chance...

A few minutes later, the fight was over. Kairi and Kuro stood looking down on the fallen convicts.

"_These_ are the guys they're passin' off for criminals?" Kuro said, sneering down on them.

"Yeah, they just don't make 'em like they usedta." Kairi looked from side to side. "Where's the fox?"

Kuro looked around. He didn't see him. _'What if something happened to him?'_ He panicked, and took a step back. His leg bumped into something. He looked down to see what it was.

Suddenly, he didn't know whether to keep with the panicked feelings, or fall over laughing...

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** Hmmmm... Now what could he have seen? Wouldn't happen to be that cutest creature I've been talkin' about, would it? REVIEW and the next chapter will get here a lot faster! Please look over any errors on this chappie. This is another one of those I wrote without sleep so it'll be re-proofed after I get a long nap...**


	22. Carryin' My Baby

**Hiya! And thanks for the reviews! I couldn't really respond to the last batch of reviews without giving this one away (as if you didn't already know...), so please forgive me! This is a short chappie. As for Touya's hobby, now you know what I'm doing when I'm not writing... And yes, I do have the whole YYH gang on my game! I'm very proud to say LOL**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

Touya pulled the handle on the side of the chair, putting it into the reclining position. He was planning to take it easy on their day off. Tomorrow they were going to be buried alive with a bunch of snakes. There was no need to exert himself on anything that could go wrong today. There'd be plenty of misery tomorrow. 

He flipped open the silver box in his lap, logged in to Windows XP, then opened The Sims: Makin' Magic. He had made "skins" of all his friends, including a dog skin than looked like a little Puu, and he was currently taking the Jin sim to Magic Town. About the time he had 'Jin' use the levitate interaction with 'Yusuke' – which looked so much like when they really met that it was scary – the afternoon ritual started.

"Gimme that!" Jin yelled.

"NO!" Suzuka yelled back.

"I'm missing Dena: Demon Princess!" Shishi shouted.

"Foxy'll be on any minute!" Chu whined.

"Who cares about those third-rate fights? I'm watching Dr. Phil!" Suzuka said, temporarily gaining control over the remote.

"No way am I missin' MY fights to watch Dr. Phil!" Jin shouted, snatching the remote from him and turning the TV to the grappling matches.

"GRRRR!" Chu grabbed it and switched to the new weekly tournament, the equivalent of the Demon World WWE, hosted by none other than Chu's old flame, Koto.

"Give me that!" Shishi flipped to one of those make-over shows that no one but Suzuka had bothered to learn the name of. Whose bright idea had it been to make a satellite dish that got demon _and_ human channels on the _same_ TV? Why didn't they make one for each? Or at least fix one of the old TV sets and wire it up, too? They could've had two _small_ battles every day instead of the cussing dust-cloud that was rolling around the living room right now.

Touya heard Rinku's voice coming toward the living room. _'He must have figured out what time it was. I was hoping he would stay outside and play until round one was over. Now I'm going to have to break it up before they can kill him...'_

The boy wasn't talking to himself, though, as Touya had thought. There was a man's voice with him. When Rinku appeared in the doorway a few seconds later, a few things started to come together in Touya's head. _'Oh, _sure _they were just going to town..._' he thought, seeing the bat demon beside the boy. They'd been on a little field-trip to _Spirit World!_ He was going to lock Kairi up for the next 30 years for this! He was starting to go over speeches in his mind already. The dust-cloud stopped rolling and the other boys came to his side, wondering how Kuronue had got back into that form, all but Suzuka, anyway.

"So, where's my sister?" Touya asked, narrowing his eyes at the bat. Kuronue now knew why he was the ice master. That look sent a chill through him, and _he_ wasn't afraid of _anything_! He was glad they'd taken the time for Kairi to heal the cuts on her arms, and change into another outfit without the blood stains. She hadn't had enough to heal her legs, but that outfit came complete with thigh-high stiletto boots. Hopefully that would hide the evidence and Touya would believe the cover story they'd discussed...

"Carryin' what she _claims_ is my baby," Kuronue said.

"WHAT?" Touya rocked on his heels for a second at that, and he was thinking of ways to kill the bat, until he saw what was behind him.

When Kairi stepped into the light, Touya dropped all the plans for a speech and a brutal murder. This might be good enough without either...

"What the?" Jin said, seeing the little silver ball of fluff she was carrying. Suzuka started to snicker. How this had happened, he didn't know, but it was going to be fun...

The boys gathered in around them, looking over the little fur-ball. It stretched and yawned, and looked up at them with its little amber eyes. Its furry tail was the biggest part of it, but its ears were the best; one stood, almost pointing, with the main tip drooping over a little, while the other one lay completely limp and flopped over. He looked like a lop-eared pup. In no time, they were all chuckling, along with Kuronue. Kairi was fit to be tied.

"This is why I tried to warn you about hanging out with boys," Touya said, barely maintaining his straight face.

"Lad don't look a thing like ye," Jin laughed to to Kuronue.

"Yeah, I think I'm gettin' a pretty raw deal," Kuronue said, grinning wide.

"I knew the bloke was a smooth touch with the sheilas, but I di'n't know Kurama worked _that_ fast!" Chu boomed, then he started to roar with laughter, along with the rest of the boys.

"I'm glad you boys are _enjoying_ this. Did it ever occur to you that Kurama's mom is waiting for him? How the hell are we supposed to _explain_ this?" Kairi snapped.

"The effects are only temporary," Suzuka said. "I'll assume it was the tree _sap_ that did this and not the fruit, correct?"

"Yup." "Yep."

Suzuka groaned. "I was _afraid_ of that. The sap is a more concentrated form. The fruit only takes a few minutes to wear off, but the sap's effects could take days... or longer..."

"_Days_? What about _Shiori_?" Kairi asked.

"Why don't I go down there and talk to her, and _you_ can have fun with the _kit_," Kuro said, turning and _trying_ to get started walking back toward the entrance to the cave. He didn't make it far, though. Kairi reached her free hand out and grabbed a handful of his ponytail to yank him back. When he turned to look at her, she stared at him with a glare so scary it actually unnerved him a little.

"We. Need. To. Talk."

"See?" Kuro said to the little fox. "I told you I always hear that when they're tryin to pin a baby on me." The little fox cocked his head to the other side, his ears' positions trading places as he did, and blinked at the bat.

"Now," she growled, and dragged Kuronue into the hall. As soon as they exited, the other boys nearly headed over laughing.

"What is there to talk about? Suzuka said it wouldn't last. All you gotta do is take care of him till the stuff wears off," he said.

"All **_I_** gotta do? What the hell makes you think _I'm_ taking care of him?"

"You're the _chick_. Maternal instinct and all that stuff. I can't take care of a kid...or _kit_."

"He's _your_ friend you chauvinistic prick and _you're_ taking care of him!"

"I'm not taking care of any babies. _End_ of discussion."

"It's the end when we _BOTH_ agree it's the end, and _you're_ the reason we were near that tree to start with. And, like I said, he's _YOUR_ best friend. You _ARE_ taking care of him. And _THAT'S_ the _end_."

"I didn't agree to the end."

"You already said it was, and after I decided who was watching the kit, I agreed. So there."

"Oh, _hell_ no!"

"Have fun," Kairi said, shoving the little fox into the bat's arms. As soon as he got there, he took a hunk out of the bat's finger.

"_OW_! What the?"

The little fox started pushing against his chest, trying to get away. Then he started whining and whimpering, which soon turned into all out wailing...

Kuronue managed to shove him back to Kairi, then healed the end of his bleeding finger enough to get the blood to stop flowing.

"What was _that_ for?" she asked the little fox. He whimpered a little more, then latched a death-grip around her neck, afraid she was going to hand him over again.

A light-bulb came on in Kuro's head. "I know! He's just a little ball of _instinct_ right now. Baby male foxes won't tolerate other males unless it's their father or a litter-mate. I'm _obviously_ neither. Guess you _ARE_ watching him, _Vixie_." He gave her one of his famous trademark smirks.

"Oh, no," she said, as the little fox stared down the bat suspiciously. He was _NOT_ going back there again! Said bat began to chuckle a little, getting a tiny growl from the kit. It sounded like a puppy's high-pitched growling. Needless to say, this made the bat laugh harder.

"Well I guess I should get started toward town. Shiori's gonna start wondering about us. My demon form is about to wear off, anyway. Make sure Suzuka gets that sap." He made yet another attempt to leave, and felt her grab yet another handful of his hair.

"Oh like _hell _you are! He might not want you to _hold _him, but there's a few other uses for you."

Kuronue did _not_ like the way she said that...

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** I'm gonna have fun with the next chappie! I consider myself an authority when it comes to babies (as many as I get to watch... I think I should open a day care...)! This is going to be torture for everyone BUT the fox! LOL REVIEW! They came in fast for the last chappie and look how fast it got updated!**


	23. Splish Splash

**Hey, folks! See? I DIDN'T disappear! I've been super busy as of late, so I haven't had time to write. I'm FINALLY going back into the music biz (if you paid ANY attention to this story you could tell it's been on my mind for a while). I'm getting ready for a lot of big changes, including a move halfway across the country. Besides that, the usual drama. My computer got wiped out... again. Also, I just quit smoking, so humor hasn't been in my vocabulary the last little while... Anyway, I know this is a short chappie, but just so you know I didn't abandon you, here it is, and there will be more now that things are semi-calming down.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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The little fox whimpered. He was getting pretty feisty. 

"What's got into him?" Shishi asked.

"I think he's getting hungry," Touya said, looking at the little wriggling fur-ball his sister was carrying.

Kuronue looked at Kairi and grinned. "Think he wants some milk," he said, giving her that taunting look she was now oh-so-familiar with.

"Oh, don't _even_."

"What? I'm not equipped for the job," he said. "Looks like you got enough to make the factories and a few warehouses," he snickered.

"Sorry, _jackass_, but these aren't open for business yet. _Eep_!" She grabbed her tank-top and pulled it up right before Yoko could give the room a free-shot.

"Yup! That's Yoko, all right!" Kuronue exploded into laughter. "If he's anything like he was before, he won't mind if they're dry..."

The little fox had been fascinated with the ribbon tie going up the center of the tank and had decided to pull it closer to investigate, bringing the rest of the low-plunge neckline with it. She might end up changing _again_!

"Somebody get this kid something to eat!" she said, trying to resist the urge to argue with Kuronue. None of the boys knew about their little adventure, so her options of things to throw in his face were limited. She'd nail him as soon as the others couldn't hear her talking about dragons, snakes, and chia-pets...

"I think Jin killed the last of the milk this morning," Touya said.

"What?" The girl looked ready to head over. All this, and now there was no milk?

"Jin, fly down to Genkai's and get some," the ice master said.

"Why me?"

"Because you were the one to empty the last jug. And you'll get back faster than the rest of us. Or, if neither of those motivate you, because Kairi will never bake you another apple pie if you don't."

"Eep. I'm goin'," Jin said. Most of what Touya said didn't matter to him, but that part about the apple pies got his attention. He was out the cave in a flash.

The little fox was starting to fight a little harder. He had obviously acquired his famous patience when he was much older. He wanted something to eat, and he wanted it _NOW_.

"Foxes eat fruit, don't they?" Touya asked.

"Yup." "Yep."

"Then take him down to the orchard and get him an apple or two to hold him over until Jin returns."

"Jin finish those, too?" she asked.

"No. I did."

"_Thanks_, Frosty."

"Welcome, _Brat_."

"_Frigid_ prick."

"Love you, too, Sis."

"Yeah, yeah..."

With that, the sibling fight was over. Kairi and a reluctant Kuronue went toward the orchard at the foot of the mountain trail. There was a pond on the way, and after quite a few of Kuro's wise-cracks, Kairi began to get ideas...

The pond was situated right beside the end of the trail. There was about a 10 foot drop to get down to it. Kairi focused the little bit of energy she had recovered since they'd returned and jumped off the side of the path, landing on the pond and walking over. Kuronue watched her walking across what _looked__like_ a big puddle. It only seemed to be a few inches deep. He hopped down after her...

**SPLASH**

"Good one, genius!" Kairi said, barely fighting the laughter long enough to get it out. Kuro splashed wildly, trying to get to the edge of the ice-cold water. How did she do that?

Little Yoko had been watching Kuronue over her shoulder, and when he saw the water splashing all around him, he went into a fit of the cutest little giggles Kairi had ever heard.

"How are you doing that?" the bat said, seeing the girl standing on top of the water.

"The same way Jin floats on air." She forced the water to propell her up about a foot over the pond. It looked like she was standing on a geyser. He got it now. The water was pushing against her feet with enough force to hold up her weight, kind of like how a fire-hose can push a man backwards, only she had complete control of where this pressure was aimed. She had burned up energy for the sole purpose of giving him an early bath. She was going to pay for this...

"Veeeeery funny..."

She walked over to the edge of the pond and got back onto solid ground. "Get over it. I didn't tell you to follow me, stupid."

"You _knew_ I would. You are _SO_ going to pay," he said through gritted teeth.

"Looks like you still need to cool off," she said. She put her free hand on his chest and gave a little shove. He was standing on uneven rocks, so balance was out of the question...

**SPLASH**

The baby fox was laughing again. Kairi went on to the orchard, leaving the bat on his own to get out of there.

The bat fought his way out of the pond, shivering for all he was worth. He glared at the girl walking away from him. She looked over her shoulder and gave him one of those demonic grins he was so used to. He _should_ kill her, so why did he think that cold, evil grin was so damned cute?

The baby fox went wild when he saw all those apples. He was reaching up from the girl's arms, thinking he could reach them from there.

"Calm down, pal. We'll get you one," Kairi giggled. She sat him down on the grass, making sure there weren't any rocks or rotten apples for him to grab. She climbed the tree and got a ripe apple for him, then tossed a few extras in the bag for later. She hopped down and gave it to him, and he practically inhaled it, then looked expectantly for another. She gave him one more, then picked him up and started back toward the cave.

The bat was almost to the orchard, when she was leaving...

"What took you so long?" she said, still smiling evilly.

Kuronue was still dripping when they got back to the cave. The others didn't know what happened, but they wished they'd been there to see it...

Apparently, Jin had done some talking while he'd been at Genkai's. It wasn't long after the trio had got back to the cave that they heard squeals of "He's so adorable!" Botan, Kayko, Yukina, and Shizuru had came to see the little fox, along with a snickering Yusuke and Kuwabara.

"Just when I thought this day couldn't possibly get worse..."

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**Well, you know the drill! Leave a review so I know if you're still out there! PLEEEEASE!**


	24. Caught

**Heya! Sorry this took so long. The site wouldn't let me upload anything. I had to export a chapter from an old fic to the document editor and then copy and paste this chapter over it. Dontcha love ingenuity? Anyway, here it is. And I know it's not the best it could be, but I'm finding that without a smoke, my concentration is shot... Maybe this'll get easier once I get used to functioning without a cigarette in my hand... Doesn't help that I was bouncing back and forth between writing and MySpace either.  
**

** PS: If you get the "Whirled Pease" reference, congratulations. You are official Touya fangirls! LOL I played that song on repeat the whole time I was writing this...  
**

**I own nothing. Enjoy! **

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The girls giggled and fussed over the cute little kit. Yusuke and Kuwabara had been shooed away after the fox made it clear that he didn't like the boys being that close to him. Kuwabara's finger had finally quit bleeding. He couldn't believe someone as nice as Kurama would do such a thing to him, though Yusuke had found it quite entertaining...

The other two outlaws weren't complaining about the girls' fascination with their miniature friend. Kairi resumed her duties as the resident cook/waitress/maid/referee of the cave and Kuronue was pestering Suzuka to hurry up with getting that sap ready for him to use. He knew there was no way Kairi was going to baby-sit two demonic rugrats, so he had to be sure not to drink too much. He had turned back into Kane shortly after returning to the cave and he was missing his body already.

Yoko giggled and gurgled as Botan lightly bounced him on her knee and Yukina tickled him under the chin.

"Now why don't we ever get attention like that?" Yusuke muttered.

"_Some_ of us _do_," Shishi said.

"Too bad ye hafta spend more time lookin' in the mirror than a packa females to do it, though," Jin added, getting a low-five from Yusuke behind his back.

"I don't have to spend that much time in front of a mirror!" Shishi growled at the boys. "You're jealous because the girls appreciate my good looks. They aren't so taken with over-grown lep-"

"HEY!" Jin was ready to go.

Touya saw what was coming. He marked the page of his book with his index finger and grabbed the portable CD player beside his leg. Years of this had taught him how to ignore them. He slipped on the headphones and resumed his reading, now listening to a song called "Whirled Pease" by his favorite band, AAA...

"Not that much time in frontuva mirra?" Chu asked. He hoisted Rinku up to his shoulder. "Better stay up there for a while, mate. If it gets any deeper in here it'll be ova yer head."

"Yeah, really," the boy agreed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shishi barked at them.

Just as they were all getting ready to square off, Kairi cut the fight short. "Listen up, boys. That fox is easy-scared. Besides that, I'm havin' a bad day. If one of you even thinks about starting a fight inside this cave I'm turnin' in my apron and you can take turns cookin' your own damned meals for the rest of your natural lives, which probably won't be that long if Chu makes another of his 'Meat Surprises'."

"You're bluffing," Shishi said, now the only one still brave enough to speak. "You're constantly using that threat, but we all know that you wouldn't stop cooking. You wouldn't want your brother to go hungry."

"And I won't," Touya said from his spot on the couch, never looking up from his book. "She would cook for me. The rest of you would be on your own. Why do you think I never get too concerned when she threatens you?"

"What?" the other boys exclaimed. Touya continued to read, now grinning a little.

"He's right," Kairi said. "I'll take care of him. He's blood. I've got no moral obligations to keep you boys from starving."

"What? I thought you liked us!" Jin said, followed by a round of pleading.

_'Well, I guess I see how she's been keeping six of Makai's strongest in line without letting them know she can fight...'_ Kane watched silently from his seat beside of Suzuka. They were off in a corner of the "living room" working on the potion at a folding card-table. Neither was in a hurry to dive into the fight happening across the room, but it looked like Yusuke and Kuwabara were enjoying the show. Touya didn't seem to mind all the fussing either, since he knew he was on the winning side. _'Must be nice to have a wildcat on your side. I wouldn't know, since that same kitty's been diggin' her claws into me for as long as she's known me...' _Kane scowled with that last bitter thought.

Kairi, seeing that she'd won, went to the card table to see how things were going with the potion. Dinner was in the oven and she had a few minutes to kill. As soon as she'd left the circle, the argument resumed, at a much lower volume this time, though. No one noticed Rinku slipping toward the "kitchen" area, and toward the box of cookies in the cabinet.

No one but the fox...

The kitchen was visible from the side of the room the girls had Kurama on. His nose picked up the scent of the chocolate chip cookies as soon as the boy lifted the lid of the box. He was about to throw a fit to get one, but Kairi returned to the kitchen and commanded the boy "Droppit."

Obviously, there was some reason that those good-smelling goodies were off limits. Little Yoko didn't know why, but he knew that he wouldn't get one while he was being watched this closely...

"Aww, isn't that adorable?" Kayko said as the little fox stretched and yawned.

"I think someone's ready for a n-" Botan was cut short. Shizuru's hand had clamped over her mouth.

"Never say that word to a baby," she warned.

"I'll get some blankets and pillows," Yukina volunteered. Rinku directed her to the linens. Kayko helped her set up a small 'bed' in the floor. In a few minutes, Botan laid the chibi bandit down, thinking he was asleep.

Key word: Thinking...

It wasn't long until the girls were helping Kairi get dinner out to the large crowd. Such a large crowd that they decided to serve dinner in the living room, since the kitchen was too small to hold them all

No one noticed the little amber eyes opening up every few seconds to peek at them, nor did they notice the twitching of the little ears that were keeping track of where they all were...

A few minutes later, the grown-ups were all preoccupied with their food. The unusually-smart baby pulled a blanket over one of the pillows and crawled to the kitchen. He opened the cabinet and followed his nose to the box he'd seen Rinku holding. There were the cookies. He grabbed one, and just as he was about to lift it to his mouth-

"What're ye doin' in here, smallfry?" Jin asked the kit, who was trying his best to look innocent. Jin had downed his first plate-full and was coming for seconds. The legendary bandit had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar... er, box...

"What the? Yoko, if that girl saw you with that it'd be _both_ our necks," Kane said to his partner. He went to return the cookie to its box, but found that task to be more difficult than he'd first thought.

"Would you give me- hey! Gimme- I said- Givvit!" Kane tried to take the cookie, but little Yoko seemed to be a pro at a game called "Keep-away". Kuronue had been one of the greatest bandits and warriors that the demon race had ever known and this BABY was keeping him from taking a cookie! This was getting old...

"HEY!" Kairi said when she came to see what was going on. The fox's attention was jerked to her just long enough for Kane to snatch the cookie and the box. He put the cookie back inside and started to put it back in the cabinet, but Kairi took it from him. "You _know_ he'll go straight back for it," she said. She put the box on top of the fridge, well out of the fox's reach.

They got the fox back into the living room, where he sat and watched every move. When Kuwabara said something stupid, he saw his chance. Rinku had hit back with some remark and the battle was on. No one was paying attention to the little ball of fluff now.

He got back into the kitchen, and stared up at the top of the fridge for a few seconds. That's when he noticed the chairs; kitchen chairs; four of them; easy to slide; easy to climb...

**In the Living Room**

Touya rubbed his throbbing temples. How he had become the only sane person in this pack of loons, he would never know. _'Fate must have a sense of humor'_

"Hey, ye hear that?" Jin said to him.

Touya strained his ears. His weren't as sensitive as Jin's, but after a second, there was a pause in the yelling and Touya caught the sound. It sounded like some kind of paper or plastic rustling. It didn't take him long to figure it out. He looked around and grinned. "Oh sis," he called.

"What?" She was exasperated from dealing with the boys. What could he possibly want at a time like this?

"Noticed something missing?"

"Besides the semblance of sanity we usually keep around here?"

"Listen closely. He hasn't yet discovered that sound travels. That's one thing in your favor." Touya smiled wide at the look on Kairi's face when she figured out what he meant. "He also forgot to recruit his lookout this time. I guess having his partner with you is another advantage for you."

Kane figured out what the two were talking about. He followed Kairi as she stormed into the kitchen. He caught a laugh in his throat just before it escaped when he first entered the room. The look on the girl's face meant that laughing might get him killed right now... but it was still funny...

There was Yoko, standing on a rather sophisticatedly built ladder. The most sophisticated part was the bread box which was standing on its side, lid partially opened to keep it from toppling over. Kane mentally approved this idea. So Yoko really had been a smart brat. Knowing how much trouble a smart fox could cause... _'This would be a really good time to sneak back to Shiori...'_

Yoko grinned his innocent little grin when Kairi stared down the cookie in his hand.

"Yoko! What do you think you're doing?"

"I get it fo' yoooou," the fox said, holding the cookie out.

"I don't want the cookie," she said, knowing what he was trying.

"Can I havvit?"

"GRRRRR!" Kairi's patience-supply was nearly depleted for the day.

Kane couldn't take it anymore he started sputtering and it was only seconds before it turned into full blown guffawing. That was _definitely_ Yoko! It was about that time that he noticed the faint glowing in the girl's hands and took a hard swallow. Maybe not the best time to tease her.

Touya didn't lift his head from his book as his sister stomped back into the living room with a miniature thief in her arms, kicking, flailing, and yelling something about 'cooooookie's. Then there was the full-grown nuisance right behind her, doing his best not to laugh. He was finding this to be far more effective than any number of 'We Have Rules For Reasons' or 'I'm Only Trying To Take Care of You' speeches. After this, she wouldn't want to leave the house again.

"You know, it wouldn't kill the rest of you to lend a hand here!" she huffed.

"I'm so sorry!" Botan said. "I thought you were watching him."

"Same here," Shizuru said.

"You know, sis," Kuwabara said, "that isn't very responsible of yo-" **BAM** "...ugh... never...mind..."

Baby Yoko was still not happy with this outcome. He had to find another way around all these grown-ups...

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** Hope the next is better! You know the drill! And there is a link to my MySpace page on my profile. Add me! I just started it and I don't know many people on there. It's an easy way to keep up with me when I pull my trademark disappearing acts, too...**


	25. Cookies and Kits

**Hiya! Short chappie to let ya'll know I'm still livin'! My keyboard is screwed up and I'm still waiting for the new one I ordered. When I get it in I should be able to get back to writing. I know it's been a while, but I got a LOT of drama goin' on (yeah, what else is new?) so I've barely been near a computer these last few months. I think it's calming down again (until the next wave...) Anyway, here it is! Look over any typos. This was all done with an on-screen keyboard...**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"Stuffed animal: 39 dollars," Kairi said. 

"Video camera: 399 dollars," Kane said.

"Blackmail on Kurama: priceless," Touya grinned.

The little kit was rolling around on the floor wrestling with the stuffed Pooh that Kairi usually had on her bed. Touya doubted he'd have any trouble getting his rematch out of Kurama when this was all over...

"Wonder if Suzuka's done with that potion yet...," Kane thought out loud. He started to nod off but the sound of Pooh saying something about a snuggly-huggly woke him back up.

Both Kane and Kairi were wore out. Neither one of them had got so much as a nap since the start of their little adventure. Yoko on the other hand...

"That phone call to Shiori slowed him down," Kairi said, stifling a yawn. Suzuka's talents had spared them quite a bit of trouble with Shiori. He'd used the home-videos of the tournaments to find a sample of Kurama's voice, recorded it into one of his computer programs, and warped it. They called when they knew she wouldn't be home and left the message on her machine. Far better than explaining that her son had turned into a demonic fur-ball with a short temper, high IQ, trust issues and a nose that could hone in on an Oreo from 3 rooms away...

The original plan had been to get an old message from Kaitou's answering machine but they had abandoned that idea when Kairi called him. He answered the phone out of breath and there were noises in the background. Moaning noises... Kairi heard a woman on the TV saying something about tentacles...

"Forget it. I'll talk to you later," she said, flinching as she tried to get the image out of her head.

"Why didn't you get him to play the message?" Kane asked.

"He was busy."

"So? And what's so funny?"

"I think dere's some _freak_ in dat geek," she said, shaking her head. "You call him if you want to. As long as I spent roamin' the back roads of Makai, I've got a strict "No Tentacle" policy..."

Kane raised an eyebrow. "Hentai?" _'I'll have to borrow a few things from that dork later...'_

"You. Are. Disgusting."

"I didn't say anything!" Kane growled.

"We both know what you were _thinking_."

"How the hell do you know what I was thinking? All I did was ask if that's what the nerd was busy with!"

"It was your tone of voice," she said.

"Now I get in trouble for sayin' things the wrong way?"

"Welcome to _my_ life," Yusuke mumbled on his way to the door, which earned him a hard stare from Kayko. The Urameshi and Kuwabara families were headed home for the night and Yukina was going back to Genkai's. Botan had already been informed that she wasn't going anywhere till the miniature fox was back to normal...

Now, a few hours later, they were too busy fighting sleep to worry about fighting each other, and Botan had already dozed off.

_'Lotta good she did...'_ Kane thought. Black clouded his vision...

"That was a cozy sort of hug."

His head jerked up at the sound of Pooh's voice again. "We can't take much more of this," he said to Kairi.

"Black coffee sound good?" she asked.

He made an uh-huh kind of sound through a yawn and the girl went to the kitchen. He rested his eyes for just a second... Zzzzzz

The little kit saw Touya still awake. The box of cookies that had caused so much trouble earlier was sitting on the end table beside him. The bat and the girl had decided that keeping it close was the only way to keep him out of it. He sat down at Touya's feet and looked at the box then back to Touya; look at the box; look at Touya...

"Forget it," the ice apparition said.

The kit pooched out his bottom lip and made a face pitiful enough to put a basset hound to shame.

Touya sighed. "Alright already. One can't hurt I guess. But just one," he said as he dug out a chocolate cookie and handed it to the fox. After scarfing down the first he whimpered until he got one more. Touya was just about to find a new place for the box when Kairi returned with mugs in-hand.

She kicked the snoring bat in the shin.

"ITHOUGHTSHEWAS18!" he said, jumping a little. He looked around and found himself on the receiving end of a couple stares and a set of rolled eyes. He was going to say that he was just joking but the girl thrust the coffee cup into his hand and went to her chair.

"Don't even think about sleep, dingbat. If I have to go without, you do, too!" she said.

Touya stretched and yawned. "But I think I'll turn in. Have fun." With that, the ninja left the trio and a snoring Botan alone for the night.

Kane downed his coffee and headed to the kitchen for seconds. Kairi put her half-empty cup of cappuccino down on the end table beside her. It was then she noticed the look she was getting.

Two big, amber eyes looked up at her. They went back and forth between her and the box on the table.

"Forget it, shawty. Ain't happenin'."

The fox tried the pouty lip again but the girl wasn't as easy as her brother had been. Finally he reached up, getting the girl to put him in her lap. He resumed the longing looks at the box in between the snuggles and hugs. He knew he could butter her up if he kept this up. He started throwing in a sad whimper here and there...

"All right. Ya got me. But just one." She dug out a cookie for the fox. He tried to get one more out of her the same way as before but it didn't work. Oh, well. There was always next time.

He yawned and curled up in the girl's lap and closed his eyes. The girl watched him for a few minutes before deciding that he was asleep, then she drifted off herself. She was so out of it that she didn't notice the fox climbing down from her lap.

After nearly draining the pot of coffee, the bat came back to find the girl asleep and the fox reaching up to the end table, trying to get a hold of the box.

"I don't think so," he said, picking up the box.

The kit looked up at him with a look that seemed to say "How could you?"

"Fine. You can have one. But no more!"

He sat down his coffee cup and fished a cookie out of the box for his tiny friend. Yoko climbed up on the other end of the couch and ate his cookie, then curled up, using his tail for a pillow, and appeared to doze off. Seeing this, the bat figured he could catch a nap. He laid his head down on the arm of the couch and within seconds he was snoring. He didn't notice the kit climbing down to investigate the rest of the house.

He managed to get "Just one" cookie out of nearly every other person in the house. The exception was Shishi, but that didn't matter to the kit. The gang had figured out that he was "house-broke", but no one had mentioned to Shishi that the kit had been crawling under his bed...

The fox followed his nose back to the living room. Something smelled good around here. Yoko didn't know what it was, but he aimed to find out. After a few minutes of sniffing he struck gold. A whole bag of candy. Rinku's secret stash. Most of it was gummi worms and Tootsie Rolls, but there was a big pink thing. It had something in it. After a few minutes of inspecting, the fox figured out how to open the bubble-tape dispenser...

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** Still with me?**


	26. Hep Me!

**So everyone knows, I fixed the link on my profile that goes to the Yahoo album. There's pics in it of Kairi's dagger as well as a pic of a chibi Yoko (the CUTEST one I think I've seen anywhere!) the way I think he looks in this fic. (A mini version of Yoko Kurama... on 2 legs. In case anyone else was confused.) He just has 4 legger tendencies...**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"YIPE!" 

"What the-?" Kane's head snapped up at the sound of the high-pitched yell. When he looked down he saw what was making it.

Yoko was stuck...

He leaned down to get a closer look at what he was stuck on...

_"Oooooh _no..."

"Why in the blue Hell did you give him CHEWING GUM?" Kairi growled.

"I _didn_'t! He was like this when I woke up!"

"Woke up? What were you doing _asleep_?"

"You're one to talk!"

The kit yelped again when he tried to move. His arm was stuck to the fur on his big, floppy ear and his tail was stuck to his ankle. The rest of the fur on that tail was stuck to the rug under the coffee table. And speaking of coffee...

Kuro noticed something wrong. "Did you drink the rest of what was in my cup?" Kuro asked Kairi, before round 2 could kick off.

"Why would I drink after you?"

"When I put that mug down it was half-full..."

Kairi looked at the mug she had sat down before she dozed off. The cappuccino was gone... "No..."

"'No' what?" Kane asked, glaring daggers into her.

"Oh, no..."

The little kit fidgeted for all he was worth...

"Kaaaaaaii?" Kane raised an eyebrow.

"Oh please no..."

Yoko wrestled the pink blob that held him even harder. Looking at him closer, he was shaking. The only thing keeping this kid, er, kit, from bouncing off the walls was the gum that held him down...

"He emptied TWO cups of coffee?"

"...not exactly..." Kairi said, wincing as she spoke.

"Mmmm?" Kane said, tapping his foot.

"Mine was cappuccino..."

"WHAT? _TELL _me it was decaf!"

"Not by a long-shot..."

"GRRR! YOU..."

The battle was on. Insults flew back and forth. The fox's eyes bounced from one "parent" to the other until finally "WAAAAAH! HEP ME! HEP ME!"

Both demons stopped shouting at each other and looked down at the wiggling boy stuck to the floor.

"Sorry, lil' fella," Kairi said as she bent down to pick him up. After several minutes of stretching and snapping gum threads, she finally got him up. He was still stuck to himself, though, and he looked utterly miserable.

"Well, whattawedo?" Kane asked.

"I think it's pretty obvious. He's gotta have a bath"

"NONONONONO! NOBATHNOBATHNOBATH!" Yoko kicked and squirmed but it was pointless. All the struggling just made the gum grind further down into his fur, and thus, made it hurt more...

"Alright," Kane said. "I'll start cleanin' this up while you dunk him."

"While _I _dunk him?"

"Yeah. You didn't think_ I_ was gonna do it, didja?"

"Uh-uh. No way. I've got no desire to boldly go where _so many_ women have gone before."

"I'm not bathin' him! I don't wanna see what those women were goin' there _for_! You're doin' it!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Not only 'no', but _hell _naw."

"Even if I _wanted _to, and you can rest assured that I _don't_, he won't let men take care of him, remember?"

"I'm still not doing it."

"You _HAVE _to!"

"...I really am too sick to work today... Koenma... sir..."

All heads turned to look at Botan.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Kairi asked.

"Oh yeah." Kane slipped his foot under the back of the rocker that was attached to the chair Botan fell asleep in and lifted...

**THUMP**

"AH! I TOLD YOU I WAS... huh?" Botan took in her surroundings, not noticing the innocent whistling coming from Kane. "What in the Spirit World is going on?"

"Guess you must've rocked forward in your sleep," Kairi answered.

The kit continued to squirm in her arms. "NONONONONO! NOBATH!" he yelled in protest, yelping every time he pulled his own hair.

"What happened?" Botan gasped when she saw Kurama.

"You're just in time! I really need your help!" Kairi said with enough false sincerity to get a mild snicker out of Kane.

"What?" Botan asked, still too sleepy to realize what she was getting drug into.

Kairi reached down with her free hand, grabbed Botan by the elbow and pulled her to her feet, careful to keep a tight grip on the flailing kitsune on her other side. She locked her elbow with Botan's and started walking with her toward the bathroom. "Well, Yoko needs a bath and I just don't have time to give it to him, what with the housework and the cooking and the cleaning and I have to get things tidied up from all the playing last night, and well, thanks! I knew you'd understand!" she said all in one long breath, finishing just as they got to the bathroom door. She thrust the squirming kit into the other girl's arms as she opened the door, guided Botan through the door, then shut it behind her. She was half-way back to the snickering Kane before Botan's voice rang out.

"WAIT! I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!"

"Damn..." Kairi whispered to herself as she turned around to see Botan running toward her.

"I don't want to see Kurama's... you _know_! Let one of the boys bath him!"

"He won't _let _'em."

"Well, why can't you do it?"

"He's _your _boyfriend!" Kairi said, once again ushering Botan back to the bathroom. Both girls were too busy to notice Yoko tugging at the ear his arm was stuck to. He had managed to move the arm quite a bit... as long as his head moved with it... He laid sideways in Botan's arms.

"He isn't my _boyfriend_!" Botan said, blushing wildly.

"You went on a date with him, didn't you?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Close enough!" Kairi said, once again pushing her into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

"Good one," Kane smirked.

"You _do _realize that we're both going to be dodging plants for the rest of our natural lives after Kurama hears about this, right?"

_"You _did it!"

_"You _dumped her out of the rocker!"

"It's all _your _fault! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!"

"Prick..."

From the other side of the door they were standing outside of they heard Botan's voice. "Oh, my!"

"Speaking of which..." Kane smirked.

"I think that's our cue to disappear for a little while."

"Yup."

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** REVIEW! (Yoko looks up with sad puppy face...)**


	27. Go Home

**See? I'm not dead. Just traveling. Um, a LOT. I got the idea in Atlanta, GA, started typing in Chicago, IL, hated it in Philadelphia, PA, deleted it in Bordentown, NJ, wrote this in a parking lot in Middletown, Delaware, proofed it crossing Chesapeake Bay, uploaded it in Baltimore, MD, and I'm writing notes and posting from Toledo, OH.**

**The things you can do with computers nowadays... I LOVE laptops and satellites!**

**This is only about half of the chapter. Due to the schedule and dead-spots where I can't get a signal I decided to post now since I don't know when I'll get another chance. I said before that Kairi would give Kane his depth to avoid taking any more masculinity from Kurama. The guy has enough problems without me making him touchy-feely.**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"Oh, no..." 

"_Now _what?" Kairi asked, looking quite perturbed by the thought that something _else _was going wrong.

"I just remembered, the bills come in the mail in the morning," Kane groaned.

"And that holds _what _significance here?" Kairi arched an eyebrow.

"I have to go back to my place."

"What?"

"I have to go back to my place," Kane repeated.

"Don't even _think _you're wheasling your way outta this that easy. You're living as an underage human in this world. You don't _pay _bills yet." Kairi folded her arms and stared accusingly at Kane.

"It's not the bills I'm worried about, but thanks for the update on how my life works," he huffed.

"Wise-ass..." Kairi mumbled, not-so under her breath. She continued to stare at the boy for an explanation.

"My old man comes home to get the mail when he knows there's something important coming."

"You can explain to the mother of the King of all Mama's Boys why he's been missing for days while he took a jolly outing to land dead souls go to for their final judgment and got turned into a furry tricycle-motor but you can't tell your dad you're staying at a friend's house?"

"I'm not worried about excuses. Hell, he could care less if I dive into a lake with a boulder tied to my neck. It's my _stuff_ I'm worried about."

"Huh?" Kairi was growing more confused by the second.

"I don't have_ time _for this! I gotta get back there before _he _does... if he isn't there _already_..."

"Like _hell! _You're not leaving _me _to deal with your pint-sized, pain-in-the-ass partner!"

"Phone." Kane's look suggested that he hadn't acknowledged a word she had just said.

"_Scuse_ me?" Kairi asked, again raising an eyebrow in a way that meant he had _better _not have just given her a one-word order.

"I need a phone. I have to call the house and see if he's made it home yet," he replied, careful to not get too demanding, but still keeping his cool exterior intact.

"Alright," Kairi said, grinning a little evilly. She turned and walked toward Suzuka's "lab".

_'That was too easy,'_ Kane thought._ 'Why isn't she arguing with me about this?'_

He soon had a good idea why...

She walked back into sight holding what looked like a large, metal collander, or spagetti strainer as he knew them. It had wires in an assortment of colors and a miniature, revolving satellite dish attached to the top. Kane saw a strap hanging from the bottom, and he guessed, from watching Saturday morning cartoons, that strap was meant to be a chin-strap.

"Here ya go," she said, handing him the helmet.

"What. The **BLEEP**. Is. That?"

"The phone, silly," she said, the false sweetness in her voice almost as thick as two cups worth of sugar caked on the bottom of a kid's cereal bowl.

"No. Damned. Way."

"Suzuka made it. Normal cell phones don't work in these mountains, and it's pretty obvious that there aren't any lines here."

"I said: No. Damned. Way."

"You wanna use the phone or not? Everyone else here had to use it," she said.

"Suzuka didn't have this thing when he left that message for Shiori. Trust me, I woulda noticed."

"He mixed the recordings in his computer, converted 'em to MP3 format and dialed her phone with his computer. It was all digital. He didn't need a phone."

Kane still looked at her like this wasn't happening.

"Guess ya don't need it that bad," she said, turning to walk away.

Kane thought about all his possessions, sitting unguarded at home. A vision of all his precious belongings sitting in a pawn shop window came to him. "Fine. Gimme the damned thing." He slipped the hole-filled helmet onto his head. "Whoa, waitaminute! Huh? How do ya work this thing?"

Kairi grinned and strapped the chin strap; and took extreme pleasure in tightening it a little more than necessary. Then she slid it back and forth around his noggin to get it straight, once again narrowly avoiding a penalty for unnecessary roughness. She then plugged a key pad into one of the dangling wires and handed it to him. Kane, although not a nuclear physisist, figured the rest out alone.

He made his call and held his breath when he heard his father's voice on the other end.

"Hello. You've reached the Ogata residence"

Kane heaved a sigh of relief when he heard the rest of the answering machine message. _'That means he hasn't sobered up enough to realize what day this is... Now if I just get there before he does...' _"What the-?" Kane was pulled from his thoughts by a bright flashing of light. A camera flash. "What the hell was _that _for?"

"You just looked so _cute _with your wittle dork-hat on," Kairi grinned.

"You little!" Kane growled out the rest of his insults, too flustered with all the things going on to even cuss straight at this point.

After some more cursing Kane was headed for the door with Kairi close behind, whether he approved or not.

"Where the hell do you think you're goin'?" he asked, more than a little angry.

"I would ask you the same thing but I think that's established."

Kane glared at her.

"I told you before, you're not leaving me with the fur-ball."

Kane glowered at her, growled, prepared to argue, then thought about his belongings again. "Screw it!" He threw his hands up. "Whatever the hell will shut you up! Just haul ass!"

On the way down the mountain Kairi pressed for more info. "Why are you worried about your stuff if your dad comes home?"

"I've got some high-priced toys there. If that drunken, dead-beat gets his hands on 'em while I'm not there he'll pawn it all to pay the bills so he can spend all _his _cash on his next bender." This being said the boy started trotting double-time down the mountain.

Once inside the car Kane spun his tires so hard that grass chunks shot out from behind the car. They sped toward town. They were halfway there before Kane realized that he hadn't even turned on the stereo. He fumbled with a cassette doing 85 MPH. Kairi saw what was written on the tape and rolled her eyes, then a second later there was noise.

"Huh?" Kane looked up. It took his groggy mind a minute to figure out how he was hearing Skid Row when he hadn't put the tape in yet. When he caught on he looked at the passenger seat to see Kairi shaking her head at him. "Oh."

**Back in the bath...**

"Kurama, hold still!"

"Heeheehee!"

"Kurama, please!"

"Whee!" **Splash**

"Kurama! I need to get this chunk of gum out... almost... Got it!"

"YIPE!" **SPLASH**

"Oh, dear. How am I supposed to get this out? Every time I try it hurts him..." Botan thought aloud as she looked at the whimpering kit who was now hugging his tail.

"Here," Touya said, reaching a brown jar through the bathroom door.

"What's this for?" Botan asked as she read the label.

J.I.F.

"Peanut butter. Smear it over the gum and it should help you work it off without hurting him."

"How do you know that?" Botan said, quirking an eyebrow at the ninja who was pointedly looking away from the door... and kit.

"Kairi was a kid once. She had a thing about going to sleep with gum. Mom had to down her with peanut butter or cooking oil at least once a week until she was about 4," he grinned.

"Aaahh," Botan said. _'I'll have to remember to bring that up the next time I see her...' _Botan had not forgotten how she got stuck with this sticky job to start with...

The ninja left and Botan returned to her task...

**In the car...**

"Ass-sniffer."

"Bitch-face."

"Cock-chaser."

"Ditzie."

"Elf-ears."

Kane took offense to that one. He liked his large ears when he was in demon form. "Fat-ass."

Kairi took offense to that one. She prided herself on keeping a little extra in the back. "Gay-lord. Where are we?" she asked, not knowing this part of town very well.

"Almost to my place. It ain't exactly a mansion. What're we on?"

"H," she said, looking around at the run-down apartment buildings and boarded up houses on this street.

"Hefer," he said, turning onto the worst looking street they'd come to yet.

"Ick-face"

"Ick-face?"

"Well we've played this game 8 times already. I'm running out of good ones," she said. "Like Ditzie and Fat-ass weren't cheap-shots."

"True." He pulled the car into space in front of the shabbiest building that hadn't been boarded up yet. It didn't look like it was far from a condemned sign. "C'mon," he said.

"I think I'll wait here," she said.

"You don't wanna do that," he said. "Just c'mon," he insisted before she could ask why.

She sighed but got out and followed him into the ratty building, through the hallway with the peeling wallpaper, and up the rotting, creaking stairs. They passed a door where a couple could be heard shouting from the other side and stopped in front of the next. Kane put the key in the door, lifted the knob, shook it, shook the key, turned the knob clockwise, turned the key counter-clockwise, then shoved the door with his shoulder while holding all the parts in place.

The inside of the apartment was no better than the rest of the place. The smell of rot-gut whiskey and moldy TV dinners hit them as soon as the door opened/surrendered.

"I see he's been here since the last time I was," Kane said, staring disapprovingly at the stack of foil TV dinner trays and the pile of empty bottles and cans around the coffee table. He rolled his eyes and muttered a simple "C'mon."

This was a much meeker version of Kane than Kairi had seen thus far. He looked miserable. Just being here was depressing him; reminding him of his problems in Human World. Not that she could blame him; this place was enough to depress _her _and she had no obligation to ever set foot in it again...

He led her through the mess and across the matted carpet that was at one time shag, and green. Age and abuse had turned it into fuzzy, yellowish gum. They came to a door covered in stickers. Some were from bands like AC/DC, Pantera, White Zombie, Hole, Rage Against the Machine, Black Sabbath, Skid Row, and the list continued; others were bad attitude stickers like a smiley with a bullet-hole in his forhead, and one that said Bite Me, another that said Have A Nice Day...Somewhere Else.

On the other side of the door was a shock. The room, although littered with magazines and clothes, was a thousand times cleaner than the rest of the house. Kane headed straight for the far corner where a small, black coffin stood. He grabbed it and put it up on the un-made bed, then popped the fasteners loose. When he raised the lid he breathed another sigh of relief. His custom Gibson SG was still inside, resting peacefully in the purple velvet that lined the case. Kairi silently approved of the guitar and the bat design that had been airbrushed onto it. Kane snapped the coffin case closed and started looking around the rest of the room. He grabbed amplifiers and speakers and other kinds of equipment and started heading them toward the door. He grabbed an old duffle bag and threw a couple spare changes of clothes in and started to change his shoes. When he grabbed a pair of combat boots Kairi snickered a little.

"What?"

"Demonia Rangers, right?"

"How did you know that?"

"I've got a full collection of Demonias," she laughed. "My faves are Torment-718."

Kane got a mental image of the boots she made reference to and fought back a grin. Kairi was too busy fighting back the knowledge of how much alike they were to notice.

Once he'd grabbed everything he needed he started to load it into the car with her help. The last load was small so Kairi waited with the car. He looked up and down the street, making sure she was alone before he went back in, but as soon as he got through the door a gang of men came out of the alley and surrounded the girl who was leaning against the car.

"Well, lookie here, boys. What's a little girl doin' out this late all by herself?" the first sneered.

"Yeah. You don't wanna be alone in this neighborhood. There's some bad people around here," a second laughed maliciously.

"You better come with us darlin'. If you don't you might get hurt," the third said, smirking at her with yellowing teeth. The others started to cackle and move in closer.

"Hurt?" Kairi asked in her most innocent sounding voice. "You mean like this?" She put a high-heel in the forehead of the man to her right, delivered a right-hook to the man left of her, and did a round-house on the one in front of her. When Jerk Number 2 shook off the right-hook and came back she grabbed the tire-iron from Kane's still-open trunk and beamed him on top of his balding head. Kane was stepping out the front door and caught sight of what was going on. Before he could react he saw the end of the fight. The man in front came back from the roundhouse just in time to catch a swift kick in his nether-regions. When he doubled over she swung the tire-iron like a Louisville Slugger at his head.

Be all.

"Now why'd you go and do that?" Kane asked, wincing.

"Do what?"

"You hit him below the belt! That's just _wrong_!"

She gave him a deer in the headlight look. "You can't be serious! Do you know what they would've done to _me_?"

"It's still not right! You have no idea how much that hurts, do you?"

"I'm not hearing this!" she huffed. She turned on heel and stalked back to the passenger side while Kane put the last speaker in the trunk.

He looked down at the men on the ground and said "I'm just glad it wasn't my ass she was chewin' for once. Least you guys get to sleep through the hissy fit. Consider yourselves lucky."

"Would you shut the hell up and get in the damned car already, ya dingbat!"

He slammed the trunk lid down. "See what I mean?" he said to the snoozing men before rounding the car to his seat and readying himself for a looong drive.

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**C'mon, guys! Review! We're in the home-stretch! Only a few more chapters till the end! Keep watching: Same bat time! Same bat channel!**


	28. Touchy Feely

**I'm not dead. Between work and all the other junk, I haven't had time to do ANYTHING. Only got to write this lil bit cause I have the worst flu of my life. It's still not the entire thing I wanted to get out, but if I wait till I'm in the mood to do it how I wanted, I'd never get it posted. For the record, the last chapter is written. Has been for months. It's just a matter of getting there from here.**

** PS- If anyone plays Maple Story go to my forum! I'm hooked on that game now and I'm trying to find other FF people that play. I'm Jajauma22 in Khaini. Also got HieisFlame and KuramasVixen in Khaini. And Jajauma is Japanese for "untameable".**

**I own nothing. Enjoy!**

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"Kurama!" 

The kit giggled as a fresh wave hit Botan.

"How did I get talked into this?" Botan whined as the little kit gave her a sly grin. _'He's up to something,'_ she thought, now reflexively wincing every time she saw that grin.

She kept her eyes on the fox, trying to prevent yet another "shower", but it was no use. The smart little fur-ball eased his now-free tail over to the corner of the tub where Shishi's huge bottle of shampoo was sitting and knocked it in the water.

"GRRRRRR!" Botan growled when she was splashed.

The kit laughed. He'd out-foxed her again.

"WHERE ARE THOSE TWO?" Botan cried in desperation.

**In The Car...**

"I'm tired of arguing with you! Will you shut up already?" Kairi huffed.

"YOU wanted to come! I tried to tell you to stay in your cave!" Kane retorted.

"I didn't want to stay and clean up the mess YOU made!"

"How the hell did_ I_ make it? I didn't give him gum!"

"No, but if you'd been watching him in Spirit World he wouldn't have got turned into a runt and it wouldn't have been an issue!"

"Watching him? Last I checked he was a grown-assed fox! Since when am I supposed to baby-sit Yoko?"

"Since a few hours ago, but I got stuck doing it."

"Well, if you'd been doing it _right _he wouldn't be a gum ball!"

"If we hadn't gone to Spirit World to help YOU out he wouldn't have been near that tree!"

"How long are we gonna go back to that?"

"As long as it's working!"

"Would you just tell me what the hell got the burr under your saddle about me to start with?"

"What?"

"You women are always naggin about one thing when it's something entirely different you're actually pissed about! Would you just spit it out already?"

"Well, let's see, there's that conceited attitude, for starters!"

"I'm not conceited; I'm _convinced_."

"THERE IT IS AGAIN!"

"Tough. It's always gonna be there." Kane grinned. Now he had the upper hand back. He could play her any way he wanted now... and he _knew_ it.

"And there was what you did to Kurama."

"NOT THAT AGAIN! I said I wasn't his keeper! I can't help that he got turned into a-"

"Not that!" she interrupted. "I was talking about skipping out on him."

"What? I've_ never_ skipped out on Kurama!"

"Not yet, but you're planning on it."

"What are you talking about? I said I was going home. How is that skipping out on Kurama?"

"You don't get it."

"No, I don't! So explain it since you know everything!"

"Didn't you see his face when you were talking about leaving?"

"Kurama's a big boy. I don't see how my leaving would bother him." Kane's voice changed a tad when he said those words. "Besides, he'd say something if he wanted to."

"Like hell he would. Kurama's not the kind to admit when something's bothering him, and he sure as hell wouldn't burden anyone else with his problems. He just reasons it away."

She was right about that. Kane knew it. "You're wrong. He'd say something."

But he wasn't about to admit it...

"Tell me, do you believe half the BS that comes outta your mouth, or do you just expect me to?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"There's some more now."

"Whatever. Not only can you read Kurama's mind now, but you have a built-in lie detector, too? Why didn't Spirit World scoop you up as a detective? Seems like a popular pastime these days."

"If you're ready to quit dancing around the subject..."

"Psh."

"He wants you here."

"He doesn't need me."

"I didn't say_ need_."

"See? Even _you_ know he doesn't." Once again there were signs in Kane's voice that not all was as it seemed.

"He doesn't _need_ anyone. But that doesn't mean he doesn't _want _his best friend around."

"Kurama's life was just fine before I came back in it, I'm pretty sure he'll manage without me." Kane put a strong dose of sarcasm in that sentence. "Now, can we get back to some music?"

"So you can dodge out of this conversation?"

"What the hell business is it of _yours _anyway?"

"I consider Kurama a friend, too. He's the only one here who knows me for who I am. I don't like seeing him hurt."

"If you think anything can hurt Kurama then you still got a lot to learn about him."

"I think _you _do."

"I know him better than anyone!"

"You knew _Yoko _better than anyone. In case you haven't noticed, that's not him. And for your information, you're probably one of the few people in all the worlds who is close enough to hurt him. He's cold and logical, I'll grant you that, but he's not _entirely _devoid of feelings."

Again, Kane knew she was speaking truth. He just didn't want to hear it.

"I'm sick of fighting with you! No one around here needs me. Kurama can handle himself just fine. You made it more than clear that you could live without me. My dad would be glad to see me gone. I have no other friends. So can we _drop _this?"

"No comment on your dad. I don't know anything about him. I think we've established that Kurama wants you here. And how did _I_ get brought into that equation?"

Kane's eyes widened for a second when he realized that she had caught that, but he recovered quickly. "Just in case that was coming up your _next _argument," he huffed, but the attitude in his voice wasn't a good enough cover.

"You know, if you tried a little honesty once in a while you'd be a lot better off."

"You. Don't. Know. Me."

"I know you a lot better than you think."

"Here we go again. And just how well do you think you know me? You just met me today- well, yesterday now," he taunted, glancing at the clock in the dash.

"I saw through those walls within 5 minutes."

"Oh, I have _walls _now. And you can see right though 'em. Funny, I never even noticed 'em," he laughed. But it wasn't a convincing laugh.

"You keep your defenses up. Never let anyone in. As long as no one can get in, no one can hurt you, and you distance yourself from the people you do care about, so you can't hurt _them_."

"So just how are you supposed to know all this?" he taunted again.

"I used to be the exact same way."

Kane rolled his eyes, pretending not to be the slightest bit interested in what she had to say.

"What you said about no one needing you, I know that song and dance too well. You like your freedom because there's a lack of responsibility tied to it. If no one depends on you then you can't let them down. What it boils down to is you're afraid that you might fail them."

"Whatever," Kane sighed with an amused tone.

"And the smartassed routine is one more way to dodge being honest about it. How do you think I learned?"

Kane kept his amused expression concreted in place, but said nothing.

"Never let 'em see ya sweat, right?"

Silence.

Kairi continued on with how that cocky attitude was just a shield, but she wasn't going to get a reaction from him. She knew that before she had started speaking, though. She turned the conversation in a new direction.

"You don't need anyone. That's plain to see. But does that mean you can't care about anyone else?"

"Just because you and Kurama got touchy-feely, don't bring _me _to that level. I'll be dead, _again_, before I'll make myself that weak. I don't need other people as crutches to help me deal."

She knew what he meant. Kurama had Shiori. She had the boys.

"Who said we _needed _them? Kurama and I don't need anyone to survive, but there are people we _want _in our lives. I could walk away from the boys tomorrow and never have a problem taking care of myself. But I'd be lonely again. I walked the world alone most of my life. There's no pain when you're frozen off, but there's no happiness either. Maybe I did have to give up some things to be with them, but I gained a lot more than I lost. I'd wager Kurama would say the same about Shiori. He's not free to run wild and do as he pleases anymore, but he doesn't have to restrict himself, either. He felt with his head, not his heart, the same as I did. It tends to get you into less trouble. We both knew how to turn our emotions on and off, but if you leave them off for too long, you forget how to turn them back on. You'd be glad to get hurt, just to know you're still capable of feeling anything at all."

Kane said nothing, and maintained his poker face.

There was nothing she was saying that he didn't know all too well...

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**Reviews? PLEASE? And don't bother flaming. I know I could have done better.**


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